Written by: Pamela Davis
Directed by: David Semel
Transcribed by: Kat
Betaed by: Heather (nozenfordaddy)
DISCLAIMER: We don't own "HOUSE." It's owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions. This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use.
Mom: Hi, kids.
Daughter: Mommy, look what I made.
Mom: Oh, wow. It's a farmer and a cow and some horses. It's beautiful.
Daughter: It's for Ted's office.
Mom: Oh, he's gonna love it. And it’d be nice if you called him Dad. [Daughter nods.] Give me a big hug.
[Cut to kitchen.]
Mom [To a friend.]: The secret is the Hass avocados. I can e-mail you the recipe if you want. [Cell phone rings, she answers it.] Oh, this is the third time they've changed plans since Friday. These idiots think you can just add a 14th floor and the mayor won't notice.
Friend: I thought turning the garage into a nursery was complicated. Any luck on your end yet?
Mom: Not for lack of trying. [Smiles and goes into living room.] Ted. [She turns off the game on TV.]
Friends: Come on!
Mom: I have to go tell a client he's an idiot.
Ted: Go kick some ass.
Mom: I have to take Stella to karate by 3:00 and birthday party at Julia's after. [She looks at her arm like it just grew a third… um… arm.]
Ted: You okay?
Mom: Yeah, I'll be back. Just make sure she's dressed. [She leaves the house.] Ah! [Arm seems to be twitching. Gets into car; whole body starts twitching and leg involuntarily hits the gas pedal. The car crashes through the garage door.]
[Ted comes out into garage.] Honey! [Mom is crying and body is twitching uncontrollably, like a waking seizure. She looks at him like, help me!]
[House walks into hospital, steps aside for an old lady, and is whistling.]
Cuddy: He's actually on time.
Wilson: He's six minutes early.
Cuddy: Something's happened.
Wilson: I'm on it. [He goes after House.]
House: Morning, Jimmy. Anybody die while I was gone?
Wilson: Did -- did you iron your shirt?
House: Thought about shaving; couldn't find a razor.
Wilson: What the hell happened in Baltimore?
House: Sorry, chief. I never kiss and tell. [They get into elevator.]
Wilson: [Nodding.] I think you just did.
[On their floor.]
Wilson: there's no such thing as "just a kiss."
House: Did you iron *your* shirt? Everybody's flash today.
Wilson: Has she left Mark? Is she going to?
House [Pointing down hall towards what must be oncology.]: I think I can hear cancer kids calling.
Wilson: Are you planning on asking her to leave Mark?
House: Not sure. Cameron keeps my calendar.
Wilson: Hey. This is a big deal. This is an affair. Have you even talked to Stacy about what the hell this means?
House: Didn't have a lot of time for talking. [Blatant wink.] If you know what I mean.
Wilson: Great. Breaking up a marriage; fertile ground for high comedy. We need to talk about this. [Footsteps...Cameron approaching.]
House: Gosh, wish I could. [To Cameron.] How did the HIV test go? Did you study up?
Cam: I rescheduled for this afternoon. We have a new patient. 34-year-old female. Movement disorder.
House: Movement disorder? Fascinating.
Wilson: This isn't just gonna go away.
House: No. But maybe you will.
[Conference room with the Ducklings.]
Foreman: Probably suffered head trauma in the car accident. Trauma leads to the dyskinesia.
Cam: According to her husband, the flailing started before she got anywhere near that car.
House: What does the flailing look like?
Chase: Her arms spasm uncontrollably and there's a mild facial twitch.
Foreman [Impatiently.]: You wanna know what it looks like, go see the patient.
House: Ooo, snarky. Was he like this the whole time I was gone?
Cam: Patient's been on a fertility regimen for the last 13 months. Excess estrogen in the system could explain--
House [Holding up an empty box.]: Who finished the animal crackers?
Foreman: Sudden movement disorder could be a symptom of Huntington's.
House [Sarcastic motherly voice.]: If you finish something, don't just put back the empty box, throw it out. [Ducklings roll their eyes.]
Cam: Huntington's takes a day to confirm. We should put her on Tamoxifen in case it is the fertility meds. Counteract the estrogen.
House: It's a great idea, if you want to kill her baby. [He writes "Pregnancy" on board.] Movement disorder can present in the first trimester.
Foreman: She's not pregnant.
House: Peeing on a stick is only 99% accurate. Get a real pregnancy test. You know, the one with the blood and the hormones and the rabbit. [Foreman looks put off.] Oh, I'm sorry. It's still your limo. Whaddya say, Miss Daisy?
Foreman: Whatever you want.
House: Lame duck's done quacking.
Foreman: You quack, people shoot at you. Cuddy just put me here to make you miserable. Another two days, you can go back to making yourself miserable.
House: Okay. Get an MRI. See if it's in her head, or in her uterus. [They start to go.] You're gonna want to paralyze her. [They pause, stare at him.] You run tests on a flailer, somebody's gonna lose an eye.
Mom: You think I'm pregnant?
Cam: We need to find out for sure.
Ted: Would all this go away once she delivered?
Foreman: It could also be neurological. We need to get an MRI.
Ted: Can she do that if she's pregnant?
Cam: The risk to the fetus is extremely low.
Mom: But there is a risk. [Cam nods.] I-I don’t think we should do it until we're sure. [The husband nods, she spasms.] Ah! [The daughter looks scared] Ted, I think you should take Stella home.
Ted: I want to stay here. We should be with you. [Mom continues flailing.]
Foreman: You should take her out of the room. We're going to temporarily stop Margo's spasms.
Ted: You can do that?
Foreman: Vecuronium. It's a paralytic. Essentially cuts off the brain from the muscles. [He sees daughter is crying.] Don't worry. Your mom will be just fine.
Cam: It'll make running the tests easier. And it won't be dangerous for the baby if you are pregnant.
Ted: Let's go, Stella.
Stella: I want to be with Mommy.
Ted: We'll be just outside, okay? [Margo smiles at Stella.] We gotta let the doctors get her better, alright?
Margo: It's okay sweetie.
Stella: [Over her shoulder.] Love you.
Margo: Love you.
Foreman: Your vitals will be watched closely. I'm going to close your lids so your eyes don't dry out. [He closes them with his fingers like you would a dead person. The image goes black.] Just try to relax.
Wilson [Enters.]: What the hell did you do? Were you just cold and lonely?
Stacy [Sighs.]: Course he told you, he's an 8-year-old boy.
Wilson: Hey, you're the one who kissed him.
Stacy: Why are you so worked up over this?
Wilson: Because you're married.
Stacy: Not to you. [Wilson's jaw drops.] This is none of your business.
Wilson: The last time you left, I was the one stuck picking up the pieces.
Stacy: Oh right. He cried himself to sleep every night. That so sounds like him.
Wilson: He's been *pining* for five years!
Stacy: You're being dramatic.
Wilson: No. Actually, I'm underplaying. This is me being restrained.
Stacy: It was one kiss.
Wilson: Are you being intentionally thick? [She puts her pen down.] This was not just a one-night stand. You can't toy with him.
Stacy [Emphatically.]: I'm not. [Sighs.] He's probably toying with me. I do--I don't know what I'm doing.
Wilson [Shakes his head.]: Oh, boy.
[Patient's room, Margo opens her eyes.]
Cam: Welcome back to the world. You're off the Vecuronium. [Margo looks sleepy.]
Foreman: could you wiggle your toes for me? [She does; Ted and Stella get up from a chair.]
Cam: The MRI was clear. Whatever this is isn't in your brain.
Margo: The MRI...so I'm not pregnant? [She looks at Ted.]
Cam: I'm sorry.
Margo: So what do we do next?
Foreman: It could be a variety of things, [Margo takes Ted's hand, her hand spasms a little.] some treatable; others more serious. [Approaches her mouth with a cheek swab.] Open up. We're gonna run a genetic test for Huntington's.
Ted: That one of the more serious ones?
Foreman [Nods.]: Yeah.
Cam: It's also possible that this is just a symptom of the fertility treatments. Now that we know you're not pregnant, we're going to start you on Tamoxifen to counteract the estrogen.
Margo: Will that undo all the fertility treatments?
Foreman: For the time being, yeah. But it could cure you.
[Margo looks at Ted who smiles.]
Cam: You can start trying again once we get you healthy.
[Margo's arm spasms making her drop the Tamoxifen cup.]
Margo: DAMN IT!
Cam: The spasms are going to get worse now that the Vecuronium’s wearing off.
Margo [Looking at Stella, demands sharply.]: What are you so scared of? I'm still your mother, I'm just a little sick. [To Ted.] Why did you even bring her here? I told you to leave her at home! [Turns over and away from them; Ted comforts Stella who looks upset. Wilson and Cam look puzzled.]
Foreman: Hyper-vigilance, sudden irritability...
House: Symptomatic of… lunch with Cuddy?
Foreman: The patient now defines Huntington's.
House: Then what do you need me for? Start her on Huntington's meds.
Cam: Before we get her test results back? If we start her on valproic acid, it could destroy her liver.
Chase: Could stroke.
House: If we wait, she could progress to full blown psychosis. Then her kid will never get the chance to say goodbye. [To Chase.] Wanna tell the class how that feels?
Chase: Huntington's patients don't progress to psychosis in a day.
House: She went from 0 to 60 in world-record time. [Foreman's beeper goes off.]
Chase: Indicating it might be something other than Huntington's.
Foreman: We got a problem.
[Cut to patient's room where Margo is using her IV stand as a weapon.]
Margo: Stay away from me! Where's my daughter?
Ted: What's happening?
Foreman: She's having a psychotic break.
Margo [Jabbing at Chase.]: No! She's not yours! What do you want with her?
Cam: Calm down!
Chase: Margo, you're gonna hurt someone.
Margo: No! [She swings the IV stand around and breaks the plate glass window behind her. Chase and Foreman move in and grab her.]
Chase [Struggling to restrain her.]: Push two milligrams Ativan!
Margo [struggling, yelling:] I want my daughter! She's not yours! I want my daughter. No more experiments. No! [They give her the Ativan, she loses consciousness.]
Cam: How can her Huntington's test be negative?
Foreman: All the signs are there. Movement disorder, psychosis... It should be Huntington's.
House: Yeah. That'd certainly make your job easier. Well good news for Margo, it's not Huntington's. Bad news for us, the psychotic break eliminates fertility meds; which means we have no idea what's wrong with her. [Sighs impatiently and shakes hands at the white board.] We give you so much, and you give so little!
Foreman: You know patient is prime age to develop spontaneous schizophrenia.
Cam: Almost impossible. No family history of mental illness.
Chase: How about toxins?
Cam: None of her family members are sick, nobody at her office, her volunteer group, kid's classes, and PTA members. [Throws up her hands.] All fine.
House: So she raises a daughter, runs a business, she does charity work, she volunteers at school, attends PTA. What makes mommy run?
Chase: You're thinking drugs?
House: Cocaine. [All but Chase roll eyes.] Explains the psychosis and the flailing, and the uncanny ability to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never ever let Teddy forget that he's a man.
Cam: I'll go look for her stash.
House: Take Foreman. There's gotta be a reason for the stereotype.
House [tries door, then knocks]: I know you're in there. I can hear you caring.
[No answer, he goes around to the balcony, comes in that door, startling Wilson.]
House: The door was locked.
Wilson: Means I didn't want to see anyone. [He’s rolling joints. Beta Comment: Which is one reason why I love him.]
House [Eyebrows raised.]: High school reunion?
Wilson: It's for a patient. She can't roll. [Looks toward the balcony.] Now lock that door, too.
House: Paranoia; must be the good stuff. [Sniffs.] Times like these I wish I had cancer. So what did she say?
Wilson: That depends. What did you do, and who are we talking about?
House: We both know that as soon as we talked you ran to Stacy so you could gossip and giggle. I need to know what she said.
Wilson: I have a crazy idea: why don't you go talk to her?
House: Because my bestest buddy says that could lead to trouble.
[They regard each other.]
Wilson: She sounds confused, but I don’t' think she is. I think she's waiting for you to do something to show her you're serious.
House [Raises eyebrows briefly.]: Wow. It's a big jump from infidelity is morally wrong to "do her."
Wilson: I didn't say *do* her. I said do *something.*
House: What exactly did she say?
Wilson: She didn't say it was a mistake.
House: She's not gonna leave Mark in the middle of his rehab; too much guilt.
Wilson: She left you.
House: Harsh toke, dude.
[House gets up to go.]
Wilson: House. [House turns, Wilson gestures 'come here', and House takes a joint from his pocket and hands it to Wilson.]
Foreman: I could've covered this. You need to get that test today.
Cam: I wish you guys would remember my birthday instead of my HIV test.
Foreman: Forgive us for being concerned. [He comes clean.] I got a bet with House. [Cam makes a face.] He says you're too scared to get it, I say you're too anal not to. [Cam rolls her eyes.] I'll cut you in.
[Outside the house.]
Cam: That was a colossal waste.
Foreman: Who would've known? Searching a high-end family home for illicit narcotics was such an obvious choice.
Cam [Seeing the car.]: Working moms practically live in their cars.
Foreman: Little bump on the run?
Cam: You were a car thief right? [Foreman gives her a face and tries the door; it's open.] Ha. [Cam sits in the driver's seat and reaches for the glove box and pulls out a pill bottle.] Momma's little helper.
[Back at hospital.]
Cam: House! Ritalin.
House [Examining bottle.]: Cocaine with a PG rating.
Foreman: Prescribed to her daughter.
House: Mommy does everything for her family these days. Even swallows their pills.
Foreman: It's possible the kid's meds are the kid's meds.
House: Pop enough Ritalin, it can explain everything.
Foreman: Well, Ritalin maybe explains some tics, some involuntary--
House [Shakes head.]: No, case reports have referred to chorea. She's been cut off from her stash, so the flailing's tapered off and the psychosis hasn't returned. It's perfect.
Foreman: Tox screen will confirm that.
House: Half-life's 12 hours. The drugs'll be out of her system. We're done. Get rid of her.
Foreman: We're not done. We have to confirm the diagnosis before we send her home to die of something else.
House: Oh yes, the power tastes so sweet. You just can't resist. You're like a diabetic at the ice cream counter. You want to say no, but you need that chocolaty goodness.
Foreman: Yeah. Well, I'm still signing the charts. So until tomorrow, you're not allowed to kill anyone. [Walks away.]
Cam: We've asked her three times if she's on any meds.
House: So we don't ask *her.*
[Patient's room; a long red balloon emerges with House following.]
House: Candy striper. [Hooks chair with his cane pulls it toward himself. To Stella:] So, you like dogs? [Stella nods. House whistles; bends the balloon into… a shape.]
Stella: That's not a dog.
House [To parents.]: Smart kid. [To Stella.] Are you always such a good little girl? Or does mommy sometimes say you're the reason she needs a double martini?
Margo: Who are you?
House [To Stella.]: Over here, kiddo. I'm talking to you. Focus. It must be because you're off your meds.
Margo [Sits up.]: Who *are* you?
House [Winks.]: Doctor *and* candy striper.
Ted: She's not on any medication.
House: Well that's strange, because this bottle has her name on it. [Shakes it.] And I think these are medical pills inside.
Ted: What's he talking about?
Margo: Doctor prescribed Stella… a few months ago. I never told you about it because I never gave her any.
House: Hmm. That's funny, 'cause the bottle's almost empty. [To Stella.] You missed a couple of days. Take five.
House: Why? Unless they're not hers. [To Stella.] You need some water, sweetie?
Margo: I'm not taking Ritalin.
House: Come on. All the cool moms are doing it. And tox screen says you're cool too. [Pulls out paper and holds it out to her.]
Ted: You were on drugs while taking care of Stella?
Margo: [Looks about to deny it, then says.] I'm sorry, Ted. [House unfolds the paper and holds it in front of her face.] It's a cafeteria menu.
House [To Ted.]: Should take a couple of hours to process her. Then you can take her home and divorce her.
[Shot of House musing in his office.]
[Cut to Stacy's office, door opens, House sticks his head in.]
House: Working late? Or are you just avoiding Mark?
Stacy: It was one kiss, Greg.
House: So far. [Comes in.] I'm planning on keeping a chart.
Stacy: I'm moving back to Short Hills, I think it's time.
House: You're leaving?
Stacy: It's never meant to be permanent. And now that Mark's getting better…
House: Yeah. Much better. Except for the whole walking thing.
Stacy: He needs to get back to work. [Turns away.]
House: Right; saving the next generation from making bad choices about acne cream. You're running away because the kiss meant something.
Stacy: I'm not running away. I'm going home.
House: With Mark.
Stacy: I love Mark.
House [Comes around desk.]: You love me more. [They stare at each other.] I don't want you to leave.
[Cut to hospital lobby, Stella running towards her mom who gets out of a wheelchair.]
Margo [To Ted.]: Are we okay? [Ted nods & smiles.] I'm sorry.
Ted: Let's just get you home.
Margo [Nods.]: That's a good idea. [She pauses. CGI of a clot lodging in a vein, she passes out.]
Cam [Who just happens to be walking by.]: Call the code.
Stella: What's wrong, Mommy?
Ted: What's going on? [Cam takes her pulse.]
[Cut to House's bedroom, phone rings, he turns on the light. The camera pans and we see he's shirtless in bed as he answers it.]
House: This better be important.
Cam: You've gotta come back in.
House: No I don't.
Cam: Margo's stable, but--
House: Oh, my God. Well, I'll be right there.
Cam: She had a stroke.
House [Squints eyes.]: Perfect. [Hangs up, sighs.] Gotta go back to work. [Camera pans as he turns around and we see Stacy in his bed.]
Stacy: Right now?
House [Turns over, smiles at her. We see Stacy is topless too.]: Well, patient's stable. [Raises eyebrows.] Could maybe wait a half hour. [She smiles, he puts his arm around her, kisses her, and they go back to whatever they were doing before the phone call.]
[House's conference room.]
Cam: He should have been here 20 minutes ago.
Chase: Doubt if he makes it at all. I saw him leave with Stacy.
Cam: He's probably just walking her to her car.
Chase: Oh, yeah. That sounds like House.
Cam: He's not an idiot. He's not gonna hook up with a married woman.
Foreman: I hope he is getting some. Maybe he'll mellow out.
[House singing as he comes in.]
Cam: What took you so long? It's midnight.
House: Traffic. Cinco de Mayo. [To Foreman.] You owe me a 100 bucks.
Foreman [To Cameron.]: You didn't take the test?
House: Fear trumps anal every time.
Cam: It's not a big deal. I had the viral load and antibody tests. It's 99.9% that I don't have HIV.
House: You have the test and it's negative, you gain a tenth of a point. But if it's positive you lose… nearly 100, right?
Cam: No arrhythmia. So Ritalin isn't the big problem. Something else is going on.
House: Fine. Let's play doctors.
Chase: I removed the clot which caused the stroke. Problem is, we don't know where it came from.
Cam: Did ultrasounds of her heart, arms, and legs. All clear.
Foreman: Could be a protein C deficiency.
Cam: Wouldn't explain the movement disorder.
House: Nothing explains everything. What if it's a crime syndicate? Let's say Ritalin and the fertility meds plotted a caper. Ritalin takes care of the psychosis, the flailing--
Foreman: I still don't think Ritalin--
House: Fertility meds are competitive by nature. They gotta do something bigger. Something really unexpected.
Cam: Fertility treatments have been known to cause endometrial cancer.
Chase: Which could cause clots. Which could have caused her to stroke.
House: So ultrasound her uterus this time. See if there's something growing in there that doesn't look adorable in a onesie. [They all get up and walk toward the door.]
House: Cameron. [She turns.] I love you. [Her jaw drops; he swabs her cheek.] Get your test results tomorrow. [She looks bewildered and leaves.]
[Cut to roof, sunrise. Beta comment: Pretty.]
Stacy [Opens door holding piece of paper, House smiles at her.]: The prescription for my heart condition; a bit on the cheesy side.
House: I was trying for romantic. [They smile at each other and hug.] Still fits.
Stacy [Smiling.]: Mmm.
House: Did you tell Mark?
Stacy [Her smile fades.]: I told him I had to work late.
House [His smile fades, he pulls back.]: You going to tell him?
Stacy: Am I going to tell him? Still working on that phrasing. How about; 'Know all that stuff you were worried about when we first came here, honey? You were right.'
Stacy: Everything's easy when you don't care if you hurt anyone.
House: You already did the hurting part. He just doesn't know it yet.
Stacy: If I never tell him, it'll never hurt. [House's brow furrows.] I want not to love Mark. I want to hate you. I want all of this to be simple, but it's not.
House [Nods, looks around, then back at her.]: You can either have a life with me, or you can have a life with him. It can't be both. It's not easy. But it is simple. [She nods.]
[Cut to House exiting elevator, Ducklings approaching.]
Cam: No endometrial thickening, no masses.
Foreman: No cancer.
House: She's on fertility treatments. She had a blood clot. It's there.
Chase: Millions of women are on fertility treatments, and they don't get cancer.
House: Right. They get babies. She had a blood clot and a stroke. She'll get another one and probably die if we don't find that tumor. Do an endometrial biopsy.
Foreman: Biopsy's painful and unnecessary. We just did an ultrasound.
[House squints and checks his watch.]
Cam: If you have a personal issue that's interfering with--
House: Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Foreman: What are we waiting for?
House: Your four weeks just expired. Your reign of terror is over. Mine is just begun. Now go stick a needle up her hoo-hoo and find that cancer. [Goes into his office.]
[Foreman shakes his head, smiling]
Foreman: He went to Hopkins.
[Chase looks puzzled, like he doesn't know how that's supposed to clarify 'hoo-hoo'; I don't either.]
[House's office; he's watching monster trucks on TV with his brown hi-top Converse up on a table.]
Commentator 1: ...has got 1,500 horsepower blown and injected with alcohol.
Commentator 2: Yeah, that baby really moves.
Commentator 1: Oh yeah, the transmission...
Stella [Entering.]: What are you watching?
House: TV. What are you doing here?
Stella: Ted's with my mom. He asked the nurse to watch me.
House: What nurse?
Stella: She's not really watching me.
House [Nods.]: I got that.
Stella: Do you still have the balloons?
Stella: Do you want to play something?
House: Nope. [Raises eyebrows, takes feet down, and turns off the TV. Taking her hand they exit together and walk down the hall.]
Stella: When can Mommy come home?
House: Don't know.
Stella: What's wrong with your foot?
House: War wound.
Stella: Does it hurt?
House: Every day.
Stella: Is that why you're so sad?
House [Looking down at her.]: Oh, aren't you adorable. [He pushes the elevator button.] I'm not sad. I'm complicated. Chicks dig that. One day, you'll understand.
Stella: That's what my parents say when they don't want me to know something.
House: They say that a lot?
Stella: Only when they're talking about making babies and stuff.
House [Nods.]: And when you catch them fighting?
Stella: They don't fight.
House: Not ever?
Stella: People who love each other don't fight.
House: Right. Forgot that. [The elevator arrives.] What floor was that nurse on who was watching you?
House [Pushes 2 and steps out.]: Good talk.
[Procedure room. Margo is on a bed with a sheet over her legs. Ted is holding her hand.]
Cam: At your age the type of uterine cancer that develops is not likely to metastasize. It's very treatable.
Chase: Hold still, Margo.
Margo [Winces.]: I--I'm feeling a little bit dizzy.
Chase: Oh, my God. [His glove has blood on it. Machine beeps.]
Cam: BP's dropping. [Margo starts moaning.]
Ted: What's going on?
Chase: Get him out of here. [Camera shows blood dripping onto the floor in a steady stream.]
Ted: What's going on?? [Margo still moaning.]
Cam: Heart rate's 98 and rising.
Chase: We've gotta find that bleed.
Cam: What'd you do, hit an artery?
Chase: With what? I hadn't even started the procedure. [They ultrasound Margo's abdomen.]
[Cut to Cuddy's office, Stacy enters.]
Stacy: I need some advice.
Cuddy: Whatever it is, can it wait?
Stacy [Turns to go.]: Yeah. [Turns back.] What was Greg like after I left?
Cuddy: Uh, an egomaniacal narcissistic pain in the ass. Same as before you left.
Stacy: Do you think he's capable of having a real relationship?
Cuddy: What happened in Baltimore?
Stacy: Maybe something.
Cuddy [Wincing with eyes closed.]: Right.
Stacy: Technically, most of the something happened after Baltimore.
Cuddy: Oh God, Stacy...
Stacy: I don't know what to do.
Cuddy: Are you seriously thinking about leaving Mark?
Stacy: No. I don't know. I can't.
Cuddy: And you want me to tell you it's okay?
Stacy: It wasn't all bad with Greg. I was with him for a reason.
Cuddy: You left him for a reason.
Stacy: I could swear I remember him being fun. [Cuddy smiles apologetically but says nothing.]
[Cut to waiting room.]
Chase [To Ted & Stella.]: Sorry for the scare.
Ted: Just tell me she's okay.
Chase: Ultrasound showed the bleed was coming from her liver. It's rare, but the blood got into her Fallopian tubes. In a way, it was lucky. Let us know we were looking in the wrong place. The tumor's in her liver.
Ted: Is it--is it cancer?
Chase: We're running some more tests.
[Cut to CT scan room.]
Foreman: There it is.
[Cut to hallway.]
Foreman: It's a liver tumor.
House [Sighs.]: If it's malignant, at least she's only gonna leave one child without a mother. Do a biopsy.
Foreman: We can't. It's vascular.
Mark: House. [Foreman books it. Mark rolls over in his wheelchair.]
Mark: I'm here about Stacy.
House: What about her?
Mark: I think I'm losing her.
House: Your wife, your problem. [Walks away, Mark rolls after him.]
Mark: She won't talk to me.
House: So what, you're gonna talk to me instead? Talk to your shrink.
Mark: She keeps saying everything's fine.
House: Find a bar and talk to a stranger.
Mark: You're the only one who's been through this. [House stops and turns.] I'm shutting her out. I'm saying things and then hating myself for saying them. How did you get past that?
House: Didn't. [Turns and walks away again.]
Mark: Can you please be a human being for one minute and talk to me? [House stops and turns again.]
House: Sorry; gotta go, people dying. [He turns and walks away.]
Mark: You're not gonna outrun me. [Goes after him]
[House takes a stairwell, going up slowly with his cane.]
Mark: House. [Mark comes in and pulls himself out of his wheelchair onto the stairs. House turns and looks at him.]
House: You're not ready for this.
[Mark pulls himself up the stairs and falls into House, who catches him.]
Mark: I've seen the way you and Stacy talk to each other.
House: You're an idiot. You probably just set your rehab back three months.
Mark [Starts struggling.]: Let go of me! Get off of me! [Mark falls down the stairs, sitting on them. House goes back down and through the door, leaving Mark sitting on the stairs.]
[House’s conference room.]
House: Liver tumor doesn't make sense.
Foreman: You saying the CT was wrong?
House: I'm saying the symptoms don't add up. A + B does not equal liver tumor. We gotta solve for X. [He approaches board.] We gotta look at this differently. What do we know about her?
Foreman: Side effects of the Ritalin caused the--
House: No. We've examined the file up and down. Come here. Give me that. Why do you people always overlook the human element? [Takes the file and tosses it in the garbage.] What do we know about her? Margo… [Checks the garbage.] Dalton; the woman.
Cameron: She's a people pleaser. She doesn't like to let people down.
House: Never fights with her husband.
Chase: She went to drugs instead of asking for help to manage her life.
House: So if she can't manage now, why does she want another kid?
[They all look puzzled, House twirls his cane thoughtfully.]
House: Foreman. Need your help here. You want to pull a bank job. Would you go it alone? If you're gonna rob a home, sure. It's a one or two man crew. But a bank. Lookout. Getaway driver.
Foreman: I'm not saying anything until the metaphor plays itself out.
House: So here's the caper. Fertility meds create a distraction. Mommy had 3 refills on the Ritalin in the last 3 weeks. That team goes straight for the top floor. Has no trouble taking out communications [Crosses out Psychosis.], but--the specialist, Safe Cracker. All he does is stroke, blood clot, liver tumor. [Circles these on the board.] Foreman was right. This bad ass even does flailing. Come on. Only one guy I know does that kind of work.
Cameron: Birth control pills? [They all exchange bewildered looks.]
[Cut to patient's room, Margo is sleeping until House makes a loud noise, startling her.]
House: While the surgeons are cutting out a chunk of your liver, should I have them do a hysterectomy too?
Margo: A hysterectomy? I'm trying to get pregnant.
House: You don't have to lie to me. We're not married. You're supermom. You can do anything. You work seven days a week. You volunteer. Raise a kid. Yet you still somehow find the time to lie to hubby number two that you really, really want to give him a child with his chin and pretty brown eyes.
Margo: What makes you think that I don't--
House: Because it fits. Birth control pills caused hepatocellular adenoma. Explains all your symptoms that aren't explained by your other lies.
Margo: That's it?
House: [Pulls out a paper.] Also.
Margo: I'll have the tuna on rye. Would you like to leave my room now?
House [Tosses paper onto her tray.]: Tumor is benign. Stop taking the pill and it'll go away on it's own. So, I'm cancelling the surgery.
Margo: What are you going to tell my husband?
House: That I'm canceling the surgery. You can do the explaining. It's tricky, huh? It's one thing to say you can't have a baby. It's another to say you don't want one. Personally I'd make up some other lie.
Margo: Could--could I die on the table?
House: Could you die if you tell him the truth?
Margo: I need the surgery. I'm not on the pill.
Cuddy: You can't cancel the surgery.
House: If she goes off the pill, the tumor goes away on its own.
Cuddy: You have no proof the birth control pills caused this, you have no proof she's even taking them.
House: Well if we do the surgery, maybe we'll kill her on the table. Then I can prove I'm right at the autopsy.
Cuddy: Or, we can forget the surgery, let the tumor grow, and kill her.
House: Why don't you take it up with Stacy? See which option minimizes your risk.
Cuddy: Here's what I think she's gonna say. [Beta Comment: Doing a dang funny Stacey impression.] Oh, I love Greg. But if you go against a patient's wishes, you're calling her a liar. And if something goes wrong, I end up in court having to defend the big mean doctor, albeit with dreamy eyes, who wouldn't believe the nice suburban mom. And even though his cane makes me melt, do the damn surgery. [She sits down, scoffs and rolls her eyes.]
[Cut to surgery; Chase throws a piece under the scope, gives the thumbs-up to House and Wilson in the viewing area.]
House: Shocking. It's benign.
Wilson: People do crazy things for love.
House: No. Crazy is hanging out in the park all day talking to pigeons. Margo knows what she's doing. She gave up half her liver to save her marriage.
Wilson: No, she surgically removed her fingerprints to cover up her pathetic lie.
House: It's twisted and manipulative, I give you that. But it's also...romantic. [Wilson looks at him like he's nuts.] I'm barely willing to put the seat down after I pee.
Wilson: Do we need to talk?
House: Nope. I'm fine.
[Cut to patient's room.]
Foreman: So the surgeon got the whole tumor. And it was benign.
Ted: That's good, right?
Foreman: Yeah. Benign is good.
Ted: How could a benign tumor have caused all the symptoms?
Foreman [Exchanging a glance with Margo.]: We believe all your wife's symptoms will go away now.
Ted: Oh. [He sighs with relief.] Thank God. Look, I'm gonna pick up Stella. [He kisses Margo.] I'll call you after I get the baby-sitter. [He exits.]
Margo: Dr. Foreman, you can help me. You could tell my husband that... because of all this... I can't take any more fertility treatments.
Foreman: Confidentiality rules stop me from telling your husband the truth. But my obligation to lie ends there.
Margo: Are--are there--is there a birth control method, something that won't make me sick?
Foreman: Margo, you're gonna have risks with everything; especially if you're not telling your fertility doctor. If you keep doing this, it's gonna kill your marriage and kill you.
Margo: You don't know. [Smiles.] In a few years, we'll give up. Stop trying to get pregnant. We'll hug; cry. Eventually, Ted will stop thinking about it. And he'll appreciate Stella even more. And we'll live happily together for the next 50 years. [Smiles and looks satisfied. Foremen looks sick.]
[Cut to House's office. Cameron enters.]
House: Something you need to see. [He holds out envelope. She looks at him nervously.] Knowing is always better than not knowing.
[She opens it as he gets up, gets another envelope]
Cam: It's a referral request.
House: Right. HIV thing came in earlier. [He holds it up.] You're fine.
Cam: You won't read your mail, but you'll open mine?
House: It said confidential. I wanted to know.
Cam: The most important letter of my life and you're still an ass.
House: Comforting, isn't it? [She leaves.]
[Cut to House in his office, staring at the clean white board.]
[Cut to Stacy's office, House enters.]
Stacy [Stands up.]: I'm going to talk to Mark tonight. And I'm going to stay here with you. [Smiles and looks nervous.]
House: Don’t do it.
Stacy: This isn't funny Greg.
House: I know.
Stacy [Smile fades.]: You... spent all these months chasing me. Now I'm here and you start running? What the hell changed?
House: Nothing. Nothing changes. I'm not going to change.
Stacy: Who asked you to?
House: Mark is willing to do whatever it takes. I'm not. Never was.
Stacy: Oh, now you're introspective? Weren’t so analytical the other night. [Beta Comment: My mom has this saying… about a cow and free milk.
House: You were happy with Mark. You'll be happy again.
Stacy: Shut up about Mark. What the hell's wrong with you?
House [Loudly.]: I can't make you happy!
House: How do you think this is gonna end? We'll be happy for what? A few weeks, few months; and then I'll say something insensitive, or I'll start ignoring you. And at first it'll be okay. It's just House being House. And then at some point, you will need something more. You'll need someone who can give you something I can't. [Stacy sighs.] You know I’m right. I've been there before.
Stacy: Oh. Oh. It doesn't have to be.
House: It does. It does. [They sigh.] I don’t want to go there again. I'm sorry, Stacy. [He leaves, and she exhales forcefully.]
[Outside Margo’s room.]
Chase: 50 bucks says they're divorced in a year.
Cam: 6 months tops.
Foreman: I'll take that bet. It's the perfect marriage. There's nothing to fight over if you never talk about anything.
[Cut to hallway, Wilson on his way out looks into Stacy's window and sees her packing.]
[Cut to roof, Wilson finds House there, sitting on the wall.]
Wilson: What did you tell her?
House: I told her she's better off without me.
Wilson: Huh. That's probably true.
[House takes out Vicodin and pops a couple.]
Wilson: You're an idiot. You don't think she'd be better off without you.
House: Right. I sent her off on a whim.
Wilson: You have no idea why you sent her off. [House climbs down off the wall.]
House: Don't do this.
Wilson: This was no great sacrifice! You sent her away because you've got to be miserable.
House [Turning on him.]: That kind of psycho-crap help get your patients through the long nights? Or is it just for you? Tough love make you feel good? Helping people feel their pain?
Wilson: You don't like yourself. But you do admire yourself. It's all you've got, so you cling to it. You're so afraid if you change, you'll lose what makes you special. Being miserable doesn't make you better than anybody else, House. It just makes you miserable. [Wilson leaves, House turns; scene ends on him.]