Written by: David Foster
Directed by: Lesli Linka Glatter
Transcribed by: Tammy (beckston)
DISCLAIMER: We don't own "HOUSE." It's owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions. This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use.
[The scene opens on Wilson fast asleep in his bed. Repetitive guitar strumming can be heard in the background. The music wakes up Wilson]
Wilson: Oh. How the...
[Wilson sits up in bed and now House can be heard singing. He is playing a guitar and singing Faith, by George Michael. Wilson gets out of bed and stumbles into his living room, which is now cluttered with House’s guitars and motorcycle helmets]
House: (singing) Well, I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body, I know not everybody has got a body like you. Baaby.
Wilson: You know, most people go for the hardwood or carpeting. I think guitars and garbage work just as well.
House: Got the urge to play last night. Had to go all the way back to my apartment. Thought I'd save on future trips.
Wilson: Hmm. That's very eco-friendly of you. How about keeping down on the noise pollution?
House: (looking at his watch) 6:33. You should be flossing by now.
Wilson: I'm not going to work today. I'm going hunting. (Wilson holds out his hands to stop House from commenting, then turns to go back into his bedroom) After I sleep in.
[He slams his bedroom door and gets back into bed, facing away from the door. Just as he gets settled, House opens the bedroom door]
Wilson: Ah. Ah.
House: Is it that time of year again? He's a self-important jerk.
Wilson: He's my friend.
House: He's a self-important jerk.
Wilson: (clearly annoyed) Seems to be what I'm attracted to.
House: Guy calls you Jim. Doesn't even know your name.
Wilson: Jim is short for James. Now go away, Lim. (House closes the door and Wilson goes back to sleep)
[A gunshot is heard and the scene cuts to a forested area where we see Wilson and his friend Tucker dressed in full hunting regalia]
Tucker: Nice shot, Jim.
Wilson: Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. I nailed that tree. (He pumps the gun to reload) Maple syrup for dinner. We should have got a guide.
Tucker: Oh, doesn't count as new adventure if you have someone holding your hand.
Wilson: On the other hand, we are holding weapons and have no idea what we're doing. Fun.
Tucker: We need to sneak up on them. I read somewhere that the Native Americans say turkeys know what you're thinking.
Wilson: So I should stop thinking about German porn.
Tucker: (looking through his binoculars) No, no. That'll lure them closer.
[Through the binoculars Tucker sees more turkeys up in a tree and takes a shot at them, the turkeys gobble and scatter]
Tucker: We're terrible at this. (He reloads his shotgun)
Wilson: Yeah. Well, at least it's cold and my new boots leak.
Tucker: Well, it's almost time anyway. Did you bring the bag?
[Wilson hands his shotgun to Tucker and pulling a chemotherapy drug bag out of his pocket, walks up to a nearby tree. He pulls a hunting knife from a pouch on his belt and stabs it through the bag and into the tree]
Tucker: May 30, 2004, 10:07 a.m. Dr. Wilson informed me that if treatment didn't go well, my leukemia would give me only six more months to live. November 30, 2004, six months later, I didn't die. As long as I am alive, I will find new and exciting ways to thank you for giving me another year. (Wilson writes “Year 5!” on the bag with a marker) Now move very, very far away from there so that I can be sure and thank you again next year.
[Wilson walks back to where Tucker is standing and, taking his gun back, stands behind Tucker. Tucker clears his throat and taking careful aim, destroys the bag on the tree. He pumps his shotgun to reload]
Tucker: (sincerely) Thanks, Jim.
Wilson: (patting Tucker on the shoulder) All right, let's see how many more turkeys we can miss. (Tucker grins)
[Wilson walks on ahead of Tucker and blows on a turkey call]
Wilson: (He groans and looks back at Tucker) Yeah, this will work.
[Tucker motions him to try again but just as Wilson prepares to blow on into the turkey call again, a gun goes off, startling Wilson as birdshot whizzes past his head]
Wilson: (jumping) What the hell?
Tucker: God. Sorry, I don't know what happened. I can't move my arm. Am I having a stroke?
[Wilson runs back to Tucker who has collapsed to the ground]
Wilson: I don't know.
[Cut to the busy PPTH emergency room. Wilson approaches Tucker’s bed. A young woman is standing by the bed]
Wilson: Good news. Head CT doesn't show any signs of a stroke.
Ashley: So he's gonna be okay, right?
Wilson: I cannot believe how much you've grown up in five years. (He glances at Tucker who is shaking his head) She's... She's not Emily.
Tucker: Ashley, my girlfriend. New life, new adventures. Ashley, meet Jim.
Wilson: It's good to meet you.
Ashley: So this arm thing, does that mean his leukemia's back?
Wilson: I checked blood counts and blood cell morphologies. Everything is normal.
Ashley: So these blood tests, it means it's not cancer for sure.
Tucker: He said I'm fine.
Ashley: So what do you think it is?
Wilson: Hopefully something innocuous. There's a doctor I can speak to who's great... (he pauses, looking intently as Ashley) who's great at diagnosing...
Wilson: (touching the side of his mouth) Sorry, that cold sore, how long have you had that?
Ashley: Um, two weeks. I'm sorry. I-I got the call. I didn't have time to cover it up.
Tucker: What is it, Jim?
Wilson: That cold sore is caused by a virus. Assuming you guys kiss, the virus could transfer, infect your spine, and cause the paralysis. It's a disease called Transverse Myelitis.
Tucker: And is that good news or bad news?
Wilson: It's great news. I'll get you a room and start you on Acyclovir.
[Cut to Wilson walking down the hall to House’s office. He enters the conference room and looks around. Both the conference room and the office are empty. Wilson, looking disappointed, leaves the room]
[Wilson continues his search and finally spots House, Chase, and Thirteen in a procedure room. Chase and Thirteen are performing an ultrasound on the patient, a large Hispanic man. House is sitting down. He has his phone out and appears to be playing a game]
Wilson: (proudly) I just had a House moment. Diagnosed Transverse Myelitis from a cold sore. How cool is that? Patients really eat that crap up.
House: It's why I'm loved. (to Chase and Thirteen) What am I doing here?
Thirteen: Ultrasound is clear.
House: Which means he's definitely not pregnant, right?
Juan (House’s patient): Dios mio, mi estomago!
Chase: No gall stones. Could be Diverticulitis. (to the patient) Have you eaten any seeds?
Juan: (groaning) I'm joining you, Antonio Aguilar. We'll play in God's Mariachi band.
House: Draw some blood. (to Wilson, but not looking up from his phone) The self-important jerk does not have Transverse Myelitis. He's got cancer.
Wilson: How do you even--
House: (closing his phone and finally looking up at Wilson) Okay. Maybe I paid the redhead down in records a few bucks to CC me on all your cases. A few patients die, you might get sad again. Make a speech that would end your career. Frankly, I'm stalking you for you. (to Thirteen) How long does a simple blood draw take?
Thirteen: Almost finished.
House: Well, when you're finished almost finishing it, test it.
Juan: Mi estomago's ripped open by the hand of God. He spilled my blood.
Thirteen: Confusion. Delirium.
House: Why rule out the hand of God so fast?
House: (to Wilson) Your guy's low white count and right arm paralysis equals a recurrence of his leukemia. Simple math.
[Thirteen leaves the room with the blood sample]
Wilson: Did you look past the first page of the file? No AML cells anywhere. I did the blood smears myself.
House: It's still cancer. You know how I know? He's got an oncologist for a doctor.
Wilson: And your magical leukemia detector is more powerful than a flow cytometer?
House: I look for zebras because other doctors rule out all the horses. In this case, you are those other doctors. You haven't earned a zebra. 100 bucks.
Wilson: Are you serious?
House: (standing up) Look, friends don't diagnose friends with cancer. I get it. Your problem is you're not objective. Your caring is clouding your diagnosis. Just cut that out and you could be a pretty decent doctor.
[Thirteen comes back into the room]
House: (to Thirteen) Just give me the lactic acid level.
House: (House nods and goes over to Juan) The fact that you can't speak English is not an excuse for you not being humiliated by what I'm about to say. It's also not an excuse for you not telling us that you were a tennis pro. If you had, we wouldn't have wasted our time.
Wilson: Fine. 100 bucks.
[Wilson leaves, House’s patient is still groaning loudly]
[Cut to Wilson approaching his assistant Sandy at a nurses station]
Wilson: Is Tucker settling in?
Sandy: Yeah. Already got his first dose of Acyclovir. And don't worry, I ordered his girlfriend the kiddy meal.
Wilson: Hoo-ah. Next patient on deck.
Sandy: (handing Wilson a file) Del Clinton, day six of chemo. You just missed the grandkids.
Wilson: (They walk down the hall to Del’s room) Oh, that's all right. Last time they were here, they painted my tie.
[Wilson enters Del Clinton’s room]
Wilson: You're almost ready to go home. You feeling okay?
Del: I feel like I felt after the last four rounds.
Wilson: In oncology, familiar pain means all is well.
Del: So that's good, right?
Wilson: Yeah. (Wilson’s pager beeps) I heard Jesse and Zeke were by earlier.
[Wilson checks the pager message]
Wilson: Sorry Del, I gotta run.
[He starts to leave and then pauses, turning back to Del]
Wilson: How are they doing?
Del: They--they're fine.
Wilson: No game-winning hits? No aced report cards? No school plays?
Del: I guess not. I thought you had to go.
Wilson: (moving closer to the bed) Are you depressed?
Del: I have cancer.
Wilson: You've had cancer for a long time. It's never stopped you from bragging about the grandkids.
Del: I guess I'm feeling a little more down than usual. Can you give me something?
Wilson: Yeah. I don't want you to get alarmed, but sometimes depression can be a sign that something else is going on. I'm just gonna order a couple of extra tests. Okay? (He pats Del on the shoulder reassuringly)
[Wilson leaves Del’s room and goes to Tucker’s]
Wilson: What's going on?
Ashley: It's his foot now.
Tucker: It's nothing.
Ashley: It's not nothing.
Tucker: I just started getting a little tingling feeling in my foot.
Ashley: Is that bad?
Tucker: Ashley, it's gonna be okay.
Wilson: It might mean his foot fell asleep. It might mean nothing. (to Ashley) Could you give us a few minutes?
Ashley: What--why can't you tell me?
Tucker: Because you're making him nervous. Just give us a few minutes, okay, hon? (Ashley leaves)
Tucker: Does this mean that it's not the disease you thought it was?
Wilson: It means the medicine I gave you is not working. I just might have to hit it harder. I'm going to add Ribavirin to your treatment. (he turns to leave)
Tucker: Jim, are you sure that this isn't a recurrence?
Wilson: So the brave face is just for Ashley.
Tucker: She's young. She's terrified. She's not really equipped.
Wilson: Don't worry. Once you've had cancer, recurrence is your biggest fear. I get it. I've looked at this thing every which way there is. That's not
what's happening here.
Tucker: Can you call my daughter and ask her to come down?
Wilson: You can't do it?
Tucker: She hasn't exactly been talking to me since I got together with Ashley. I'd really like her to be here.
Wilson: Of course. (Wilson leaves the room)
[Cut to Wilson standing at a public desk talking on the phone to Tucker’s daughter Emily. Cuddy approaches]
Wilson: Exactly how serious does it have to be to justify you coming to see your father? No. I'm sorry. I just--I'd rather you regretted coming than regretted not coming. Thanks Emily. (He hangs up the phone)
Cuddy: How's Tucker?
Wilson: Oh, well, he's made a mess of his personal life. But physically, I think he's gonna be fine. Transverse Myelitis.
Cuddy: What does House think?
Wilson: What is this? Is House my overseer now?
Cuddy: No, it's just not always a good idea for doctors to treat their friends, that's all.
[Wilson walks away from the desk, Cuddy follows]
Wilson: Well, House has got 100 bucks on cancer. So unless you want in
on the action...
Cuddy: Um, is Bonnie still a realtor?
Wilson: As far as I know.
Cuddy: Do you mind if I call her? I'm, uh, looking for a new place. I'm moving in with Lucas. (Wilson stops and turns to look at Cuddy)
[Chase, Taub, Foreman and an orderly come rushing around the corner pushing House’s patient on a gurney]
Taub: (looking up at Wilson as he hurries by) it wasn't the tennis.
Wilson: You're moving in with Lucas?
Wilson: You're Bonnie's friend. You know how to reach her. And yet instead of calling her, you come and seek my permission. You want my blessing, and implicitly, House's blessing.
Cuddy: I don't need House's blessing.
Wilson: Good. (He turns abruptly and leaves Cuddy standing in the hallway, looking upset)
[A quick exterior nighttime shot of PPTH and then a cut to Tucker’s room. Ashley is with him]
Ashley: So when will he be able to move his arm again?
Wilson: Should be soon.
Wilson: Started smoking again?
Tucker: (coughs) No.
Ashley: What--what does that mean? Is it bad that he's coughing?
Emily: (from the doorway) Hi, dad.
Tucker: (noticing his ex-wife) Melissa, hey. (He clears his throat) I didn't know you were coming.
Emily: I was at Mom's house when Dr. Wilson called.
Melissa: I can go if it's gonna be weird.
Tucker: (coughs) No, no. Stay. It's fine.
Melissa: (to Wilson) Hi.
Wilson: (hugging Melissa) How are you?
Melissa: Is he okay?
Wilson: Yeah. He's okay. I'm not a big fan of this coughing though.
Melissa: You must be Ashley.
Ashley: Hi. (Tucker coughs) Hey, are you okay?
[Tucker is coughing and gasping]
Ashley: Do you think this cold sore thing could've caused this?
[Machines are now beeping]
Wilson: (moving quickly) No. Whatever's causing this is affecting more than his nerves. I need a crash cart in here!
[Wilson pushes Melissa and Emily back and puts an oxygen mask on Tucker]
[Cut to Wilson entering the diagnostics conference room. Taub, Thirteen, and Foreman are sitting at the table, Chase is tossing House’s red and gray ball. House is absent]
Wilson: Don't you guys have a dying Mexican crooner to attend to?
Foreman: He isn't dying anymore. Found out he was on a popcorn diet. Eating ten bags of microwave popcorn a day. Huffing the fumes scarred his lungs.
Wilson: Wow, that's... very strange. Where's House?
Taub: Performing his ritual "hiding from Cuddy to avoid getting a new case" dance. It's sort of a jazz-fusion type of thing.
Thirteen: He's probably eating lunch in the morgue. I can page him to your office if you want.
Wilson: Actually... maybe it would be better if I talked to you guys alone. House and I have a bet about one of my patients. You guys mind making him 100 bucks poorer?
[The team all seem eager to help Wilson win the bet. Taub holds out his hand for the file, which Wilson hands to him, Thirteen closes her laptop, and Chase stops playing with the ball and sits down]
Wilson: 43-year-old male in remission from leukemia presents with left arm paralysis and trouble breathing.
Chase: I assume House's money is on cancer.
Wilson: Thanks. That's very helpful.
Taub: (reading the file) Subdural hematoma would explain--
Wilson: CT ruled it out. I thought it was TM, so I started him on antivirals, but he got worse.
Foreman: Bacterial infection?
Wilson: Bacteria would move much faster than this. He'd be dead already.
Thirteen: (taking the file from Taub) Could be fungal.
Taub: Fungal infection would explain his breathing problem, but not his "unable to move his arm" problem.
Wilson: Actually, if aspergillus fungus balls took root in his lungs and spread to his spine, it would explain both. (Thirteen hands him the file) Thanks. (He hurries out of the room)
[Cut to Tucker’s room. Melissa, Emily, and Ashley are all there]
Wilson: The treatment involves riddling the infected area with bb-sized pellets of antifungal meds.
Tucker: I assume you don't just load up the 12-gauge and pepper me with birdshot.
Wilson: No. We have a slightly more humane delivery system. But we do have to open you up. It is surgery. And like any operation, there are risks.
Tucker: (looking at Ashley) What do you think, honey?
Ashley: I-I don't know. I mean, is surgery really such a good idea? He just seems so sick. I just—(She looks at Tucker) you should do whatever you think is best.
Melissa: Is this the only way to go after this thing?
Wilson: Because of the rapid progression, I don't think we have time to test or try IVs.
Melissa: And he's strong enough to endure anesthesia.
Melissa: I want you there during the surgery.
Wilson: Of course.
Melissa: (to Tucker) You gotta do it. (Tucker nods affirmatively)
Wilson: Good. Dr. Chase will be in here soon to get you set for the OR.
[Cut to Wilson approaching Sandy at the nurse’s station]
Wilson: (to Sandy) Page Dr. Chase to Tucker's room for a surgery consult. And can you get me--
Sandy: (quickly grabbing a chart and catching up with Wilson) Uh, Mr. Koplovitz wants to talk to you.
Wilson: Is everything all right?
Sandy: He wanted to talk to his doctor, not his doctor's assistant. Oh, and House is looking for you.
Wilson: What did you tell him?
Sandy: That you were in the clinic. I figure that gives you about ten minutes. (giving him the chart) Here. Mr. Koplovitz's chart. Go.
[Wilson enters Mr Koplovitz’s room]
Wilson: Hello, Saul. I heard you were looking for me.
Saul: I'm very tired. But I can't sleep.
Wilson: (adjusting the infusion pump) Today's your lucky day. I happen to be a sleep specialist.
Saul: Thanks, Doc.
[The toilet flushes in the bathroom. Wilson walks over an opens the bathroom door. House is sitting on the closed toilet seat playing a video game]
House: Hey. Can a guy get a little privacy?
Wilson: Nice hiding spot.
House: Actually, it's perfect. It allows me to hide from Cuddy and find you. What did she want?
Wilson: She was checking up on Tucker thanks to you.
House: That's it?
Wilson: Like what? Something about you? Something you could interpret as being about you? An anagram maybe? It'd be great if you could play hide and seek somewhere else. My patient--
House: No problem. Just give me the 100 bucks you owe me and I'm gone.
Wilson: Tucker doesn't have cancer.
House: He doesn't have a ball of fungus in his lungs either. Next time you want to use my team, I suggest you at least leave a tip.
Wilson: I'm late for surgery.
Cuddy: (rushing into the room) Ah, your assistant said you'd be in here. I talked to Bonnie.
Wilson: Let's take this outside. Mr. Koplovitz just got to sleep.
Cuddy: Oh, sorry. She found us this fantastic loft.
Cuddy: I mean, it's not a loft really, it's just more urban. Not that I'm urban,
but I used to be. It's got two bedrooms. Got wonderful views. It's a really great place.
[Cut to the OR prep room. Wilson is talking to Tucker. His family is not there]
Wilson: Procedure should take about an hour. I'll be observing the entire time.
Tucker: Thanks. Maybe it'd be better if you stayed with Ashley. She's more scared than I am.
Wilson: (chuckling) Well, she's... at her age... she's not supposed to be dealing with issues of life and death.
Tucker: Wasn't what I was planning when I went after her.
Wilson: Why did you leave Melissa?
Tucker: We got married young. We... I'm not sure. (Wilson nods, not really understanding)
[Cut to the OR observation room. Wilson is watching Tucker’s surgery. He sighs. House enters]
Wilson: There's nothing to talk about.
House: (pushing the intercom button with his cane and speaking to Chase) Why are you doing surgery when I need you finding me a new case?
Chase: (looking up at House from the OR) You don't want a new case.
House: Oh, right. Guess I'm here for Wilson. Obviously you didn't tell me that Cuddy was moving in with Lucas 'cause you were protecting me. Which is odd since I told you that I'm fine with their relationship. So obviously, you question one of those assumptions or you have an issue with logic.
Wilson: Yes, you're fine with them dating. But moving in together is a whole other level of commitment.
House: (scoffing) This is the 21st century, Wilson. I realize that the logical course of any adult relationship could one day lead to fornication. Although, the fact that she wants to buy a loft, could actually mean that their relationship is not as serious as I thought.
Wilson: Oh, for God's sake, House, don't do this to yourself. It's a loft. It has no deeper meaning than open-space living arrangement.
House: If you bought into her diatribe about rediscovering her lost city girl roots. And two bedrooms. It just reeks of commitment issues.
Wilson: Yeah. Or she has a baby.
House: This is classic mid-life Cuddy crisis. This is her version of a two-seat convertible.
Wilson: Yep, clearly you're fine with it.
Chase: (looking up at them) Wilson, he's got global lung damage. Means it's not fungal. It's PCP pneumonia.
[Wilson puts his hand on his forehead, looking discouraged]
House: Hmm. Obviously something is knocking out his immune system. Three options. HIV, acquired SCID, or my personal favorite, cancer. I'm sure you'll test for all three. (House leaves. Chase and Wilson look at each other)
[Cut to a conference room where a group of doctors are going over cases. Wilson sits at the head of the table]
Wilson: 62-year-old African-American man with lymphoma now in remission. I did a CT and found a small lesion on the upper lobe of his left lung.
Dr. D’Razio: If he's in remission, why did you bother scanning him?
Wilson: During a routine follow-up, I realized the patient was depressed.
Dr. D’Razio: (impressed) Wow. That's quite a call.
Wilson: Thanks. The treatment indicate--
[He is interrupted as House opens the door]
House: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were in the middle of something.
Wilson: It's a conference room, with glass walls. You thought I'd be alone?
House: Your patient has cancer. Not that guy. Who probably also has cancer. And he's probably also your buddy. (handing Wilson a sheet of test results) Thought you'd want to know. And you owe me 100 bucks.
[Cut to Tucker’s room. His ex-wife, daughter, and girlfriend are with him]
Wilson: You have acute lymphoblastic leukemia. A.L.L.
Melissa: (taking Tucker’s hand) So, it is a recurrence.
Wilson: No. It's different. It's a second leukemia. Probably caused by the chemotherapy we gave him five years ago.
Tucker: That's why you didn't see it. Maybe they can rename it ironic leukemia.
Wilson: This is not the end. Tests show that the cancer is limited to your brain. That's good news.
Ashley: How can cancer in his head be good news?
Wilson: The blood-brain barrier separates the blood in your head from the blood in your body. Keeps the cancer bottled up. We can go for a cure.
Melissa: So give me the numbers. What are we looking at?
Wilson: 90% chance of cure.
Melissa: Really. What if we're in the 10%?
Wilson: Steady decline. But six months of a good quality life.
Emily: Does he have to go through another bone marrow transplant?
Wilson: No. Chemotherapy. We can go at this with drugs alone.
Melissa: When do we get started?
Wilson: We begin by surgically planting a shunt so we can get the drugs directly into your brain. I already booked the OR.
Tucker: You're the only one who can make cancer sound like good news.
Wilson: We get it out of your head and you walk out of here, paralysis gone and cancer-free.
[Cut to Melissa, Emily, Ashley, and Wilson walking beside the gurney as an orderly wheels Tucker to the OR]
Wilson: We also need you to sign a health care proxy. If something goes wrong in surgery, someone needs to be appointed to make decisions for you.
Ashley: What are the chances of that happening?
Wilson: Very remote.
Tucker: I think maybe Melissa should be my proxy.
Ashley: What? No.
[Taub and Foreman come rushing down the hallway pushing a patient on a gurney. House follows behind]
Foreman: Coming through. House got a new case.
House: (stopping to hand Wilson a piece of paper) Revised OR schedule. Sorry, Wilson, had to bump you. It's not like your guy's bleeding out of his eyes.
Wilson: House, your guy's not bleeding out of his eyes either.
House: The nurse who books the OR thinks he is.
Wilson: Your case is no more urgent than mine.
House: (pushing through the doors of the surgical suite) Yeah, but you're way more patient.
Wilson: It's okay. You can talk about the--the paperwork in the prep area.
[Cut to Tucker and Ashley in the OR prep room]
Ashley: You trust her more than me.
Tucker: (hoarsely) About this, yes. (He clears his throat) You've been through the good stuff, but Melissa's been to hell and back with me. She gives me the best shot of getting through this.
Ashley: You still love her.
Tucker: Don't be silly. I love you. Please... don't make this into more than it is.
[A quick exterior daytime shot of PPTH and then cut to Tucker’s room. The shunt has been implanted and the chemo administered. Wilson is testing Tucker’s left foot with a rubber percussion hammer]
Wilson: Okay, anything?
Wilson: Can you feel this?
Wilson: How about here?
Wilson: (moving up to Tucker’s arm) Where is everybody?
Tucker: Melissa and Emily went downstairs to get some breakfast.
Tucker: She had work to do.
Wilson: (testing Tucker’s arm with the hammer) I thought she was off today.
Tucker: Well, she didn't really have work to do. She was just pissed so she pretended to have work to do. I let her pretend.
Wilson: Okay. Move your fingers.
[Tucker’s fingers don’t move]
Wilson: (sighing) The chemo's not working.
Tucker: Does that mean it's not cancer?
Wilson: No. It means the chemo from your first round of treatment has made the leukemia resistant.
Tucker: So I'm in the 10% that don't get cured.
Wilson: Maybe not.
[Cut to House and Wilson walking down a hospital corridor]
House: We just removed a screw from a guy's lung. And the weird thing is he didn't get better. Any idea what that means?
Wilson: It means you're not listening to me.
House: No. It means I'm ignoring you to make a point. There is a difference.
Wilson: The problem with that technique is I have no idea what point you're making.
House: That your idea is implicitly not worth responding to. Doubling your patient's chemo dose is stupid. Damn, now it's explicit.
Wilson: It could swamp out the resistance of the cancer cells.
House: The fact that it theoretically should work doesn't make it any less stupid.
Wilson: Of course it does. It's exactly what you would do.
House: I'm me. You're you.
[They stop walking and face one another]
Wilson: And a table is a table.
House: And chemo is poison. And double chemo is double poison. And I can handle it when things go wrong. You can't. And things could go very,
Wilson: I can handle it. (He turns and walks away)
[Cut to Wilson talking to Tucker, Melissa and Emily in Tucker’s hospital room]
Tucker: Sounds pretty dangerous.
Wilson: It is.
Tucker: What do you think, Mel?
Melissa: (She is sitting in a chair beside the bed) I think you should call Ashley.
Tucker: You're my family. I'm sorry I forgot that. (Tucker reaches for Melissa’s hand)
Emily: I think that you should try, whatever could keep you with us longer.
[Tucker nods and Wilson hooks up the IV bag of double chemo meds)
[Two quick exterior shots of PPTH, first of darkness and then in daylight to indicate that it is now the next day]
[Cut to Tucker’s hospital room. Melissa and Emily are there and they are talking and laughing. Wilson walks in]
Tucker: I can move them.
Melissa: Thank you.
[Wilson and Melissa laugh and hug one another, then Wilson turns serious as he looks more closely at Tucker. Tucker's eyes are tinged yellow.]
Tucker: What is it, Jim?
Wilson: I'm gonna need to run some tests. (Tucker looks worried)
[Cut to the lab. House’s team is there running tests on House’s latest patient]
Taub: Intraepidermal superficial bullae. Could be pemphigus.
Thirteen: Or it could be from the fire.
Taub: Either way, he's dead. (House enters the lab) We can't stop the oozing.
[The camera focuses on Wilson who is also running a test. He looks forlorn]
House: Don't care. I'm here because (looking at his watch) it's 1:15 and Wilson started testing at 12:45. Which means...
Wilson: The cancer's gone. But over half his hepatocytes are dead.
Taub: In only 24 hours?
Wilson: (turning to face House) He needs a new liver.
House: Look on the bright side. You can publish the results of this case study. No one will ever double the dose again.
[Cut to Tucker’s room. Wilson is talking to Tucker, Melissa, and Emily]
Wilson: The double dose of chemo got rid of your cancer. But, it also trashed your liver. If I don't find you a new liver, you've only got about 24 hours left.
Emily: So what do we do now?
Wilson: Your father's been moved to the top of the transplant list. But, all we really can do is wait.
Melissa: That's it? We wait? Tell me something that I can do.
Wilson: I'm sorry, Mel. You and Emily don't match Tuck's blood type. And neither does Ashley. So a live liver donation is out. The best thing to do is just what you've been doing. Be together.
[The door of the room slides open and House enters. He is wet and dripping all over the floor]
House: Hope he already told you that you're gonna die. 'Cause it's gonna make what I'm about to say a lot more relevant.
Wilson: House, I know it's raining out there in the hallway, but—
House: I was just in the ER, testing my patient for autonomic dysfunction. It's the only department with a shower big enough for the whole team, plus the cardiac monitors, plus me. Anyway, relevant part, we're just wheeling the guy out, trauma came in. Motorcycle versus semi.
Wilson: How bad?
House: Bad for the motorcycle. Good for your liver. Blood type's a match.
Wilson: Why wasn't I paged?
House: Because there's a problem. No organ donor card. Dead guy's sister
is next of kin. She's refusing to allow the donation.
Wilson: Where is she?
House: 20 minutes away. (House and Wilson rush out of the room)
[Cut to a residential street. Wilson is standing by the passenger side of his parked car talking to House who is sitting inside the car with the window cracked open. House is wearing the fleece camouflage hat that Wilson wore hunting]
Wilson: How do you get the call that your brother's dead and then run out the door? "Oh--oh--oh, that reminds me, I-I had dry cleaning to pick up."
House: Did Cuddy buy the place?
Wilson: Not yet. You okay?
House: Just making conversation. Yours was getting boring.
Wilson: What are you planning?
House: I'm not planning anything.
Wilson: And I don't believe you. How are you gonna punish her for dating Lucas?
House: Okay, now this conversation is getting boring.
Wilson: Are you really okay?
House: (loudly) No! I am not okay. Not even close.
Wilson: Wow. Okay. See, that's very adult of you.
House: No, it isn't. It's just me accepting the fact that there's nothing I can do and moving on.
Wilson: Which is, I think, the definition of adulthood.
House: Well, if it is, being a kid is a lot more fun.
[A car pulls into the driveway where they are parked]
House: Showtime. (He gets out of the car and he and Wilson walk up the driveway)
[Cut to the inside of the house. Wilson is talking to Aikoa Tanaka in her kitchen. House is standing in the dining room, listening, but not really participating in the conversation]
Aikoa Tanaka: I didn't speak to him for years. But when my parents died, at their funeral, we made peace. Our parents must've blessed it.
Wilson: And I'm sure they would want him to do good with his last act in this world.
Aikoa Tanaka: They wanted us to be friends. Our relationship wasn't strong, but it was growing. If I allow you to defile his body, it will destroy that bond. The Itai will be harmed.
Wilson: (trying not to sound too desperate) It will save my patient's life.
House: (approaching Aikoa) What if I told you that he wasn't dead?
Aikoa Tanaka: Are you saying my brother is still alive?
House: I'm saying you're being an idiot. But I don't have time to talk you out of your religion so I'm stuck with giving you a technicality that will let you justify
doing the right thing. What if his last living act (Wilson’s pager beeps) was to donate a part of his liver? Not the whole thing, just one small piece.
Aikoa Tanaka: Then I'm not defiling a dead body.
Wilson: (interrupting) House.
House: The last generous act of a living person.
Wilson: (interrupting again) House, it's too late. The liver’s started to degrade. It's no longer viable for transplant.
House: Well played. Religion just killed another person.
[Cut to Tucker’s hospital room. Melissa and Emily are with him. Tucker is talking to Wilson and the atmosphere is decidedly gloomy]
Tucker: It's not fair, Jim. You just helped me get my family back together. I'm--I'm not ready. (Melissa sniffles) I would've had six more months with them if you hadn't given me that extra chemo. Now I have less than one day.
Wilson: I'm sorry. We knew the risks.
Tucker: I don't want to lose them again. I can't lose them again.
Wilson: There's nothing more we can do.
Tucker: Five years ago, when I needed a transfusion, you used your own blood. We have the same type. Which means you can give me a part of your liver.
Wilson: I'm your doctor.
Tucker: You're my friend. Should I die because you're also my doctor?
Wilson: Of course not.
Tucker: Fine then, you're fired. Now you're just my friend. Now you can do what's right.
Wilson: Tucker, it's... I can't.
[Cut to Wilson’s apartment. House is sitting on the couch, eating, and watching TV (it sounds like a sword fight) Wilson comes in and hangs up his coat]
[Swords clash on the TV]
House: Late night with the Pigeon sisters?
Wilson: Every now and again, I'd like to come home without getting interrogated.
[From the TV: “I’ll never betray the secret of the bushido of the heel”]
House: Someone's cranky. (looking at his watch) And late. Where were you?
Wilson: (going into the kitchen) getting a drink. What--why are all my frozen dinners thawing on the counter?
House: I needed room for my margarita jello shots. I used test tubes as bottles so they'll be shaped like my cane.
[House turns off the TV]
House: Why'd you go out drinking alone when you got such great company here?
Wilson: (He leans on the doorway and pauses) Tucker wants me to donate a lobe of my liver to him.
House: And you were out drinking. So you're actually considering this?
Wilson: Yeah. I was out marinating my liver in alcohol to get it ready for the transplant. Yeah.
House: (standing up) Your mouth says no, but your pathetic attempt at a deflection has guilt written all over it.
Wilson: It's my fault. It is my fault! I gave him too much chemo.
House: You cured his cancer.
Wilson: And killed him in the process.
House: He's had a predictable complication. Surprise. Bad things happen to people who are sick. Doesn't make you responsible.
Wilson: Oh, no--not legally. Ethically. Ethically!
House: A table is a table. Don't be a doormat, Wilson.
Wilson: (angrily) Boy, you are-- you willfully ruined my food and have taken over my living room because you already think I'm a doormat! You know what... (He takes House’s test tube jello shots out of the freezer and dumps them in the trash) you're wrong. (He pushes some of House’s books off of a table and onto the floor) (House actually looks contrite) Clean up your stuff and get out. (He smacks the doorframe as he walks toward his bedroom) You're wrong. (He goes into his bedroom and slams the door)
[Cut to Wilson and Sandy approaching each other in an Oncology hallway]
Wilson: How's Tucker?
Sandy: Um, still not dancing. But scans came in on Del Clinton. (She hands a file to Wilson) It's good news.
Wilson: Thanks. Let me know as soon as Tucker takes a turn for the worse. I want to be there.
[Cut to a shot of Del Clinton’s latest scans. Wilson is showing them to Del in his room]
Wilson: See that small spot at the top of the lung? That was then. This is now. Spot's gone.
Del: That tiny little spot, huh?
Wilson: Yeah. It's not too impressive, is it?
Del: That little dot could've killed me?
Wilson: Yeah. Fortunately, we caught it early. It's gonna be okay.
Del: That's amazing. You got all this off me not talking about my grandkids.
[Cut to Wilson entering Cuddy’s office. Cuddy is on the phone with Bonnie]
Cuddy: (speaking on the phone) Thanks, Bonnie. Just gonna have to sit tight for awhile. Okay. (She hangs up) (to Wilson) I put an offer on the loft. Seller turned me down. I offered exactly what a similar unit sold for three months ago.
Wilson: I want to donate a lobe of my liver to Tucker.
Cuddy: That's insane.
Wilson: I'm donating a small portion of--
Cuddy: You have hundreds of patients.
Wilson: And until I run out of excess organs, why shouldn't I do everything I can to help them?
Cuddy: Because you're a doctor, not a donor.
Wilson: (He laughs, pauses, then faces Cuddy) Why did you make me the head of oncology?
Cuddy: Not because you have the most organs. You're thoughtful, caring.
Wilson: Yeah, caring. By your own criteria, a strength and not a weakness.
Cuddy: This is coming out of guilt.
Wilson: This is coming out of friendship. I have a friend
who's about to die. And I have the opportunity to save his life.
Cuddy: Okay. (Wilson leaves)
[Cut to Wilson walking toward House’s office. House is sitting at his desk as Wilson enters]
Wilson: Call me a doormat-- get it all out of your system-- but I'm doing it.
House: (rising) Why?
Wilson: He's my friend.
House: I'm your friend. All the pain pills I've taken. What if I need your liver?
Wilson: Right. How selfish of me not to have considered your possible future needs.
House: They're all dying. They're all your friends.
Wilson: I'm not here for an argument, House.
House: No, right, that's room 12A. So why are you here? Want to make sure that I’ve called the moving van?
Wilson: No. The operation is in two hours, and I'd like you to be there with me.
Wilson: What-- why?
House: (looking Wilson right in the eye and sounding emotionally vulnerable) Because if you die, I'm alone. (He looks away and sits back down behind his desk, rubbing his leg)
[Wilson, looking confused, leaves the office. He pauses for a moment outside the door and then heads on down the hall]
[The following mostly wordless scenes are set to background music of A. A. Bondy's A Slow Parade]
[In the OR prep room, Wilson hands his clothes to a nurse and then gets into a hospital bed. As a nurse prepares to insert an IV, Tucker is wheeled by and into the OR]
Tucker: Thanks, Jim. (Wilson smiles)
[Cut to the OR, where the anesthesia is being administered to Wilson. (As the anesthesia takes affect, the scene shifts to Wilson’s point-of-view and is shot in slow motion) A mask is put over his face and the last thing he sees as he drifts off is House standing in the observation room. His eyes twinkle with relief and contentment]
[Cut to the OR recovery room. (The music has stopped) Wilson is still unconscious and House is sitting beside his bed]
[Cut to a hospital room. Wilson is awake now. House is saying something funny and Wilson is both laughing and grimacing from the pain]
[A quick exterior evening shot of PPTH and then a cut to Wilson rolling himself into Tucker’s room in a wheelchair. Tucker is sitting in an easy chair]
Wilson: How you feeling?
Tucker: Can't complain, considering if it weren't for you, I'd be dead--twice. You?
Wilson: I feel good. (He notices a packed duffle bag sitting on the bed) Sending out your laundry?
Tucker: Going to rehab. Some place up in Katonah.
Wilson: Up by your new house, not near your old house.
Tucker: Easier on Ashley.
Wilson: (trying to hide his disdain) I see.
Tucker: I was thrilled to get the family back together and Melissa's great
in a crisis, but the person you want when you're dying isn't the same as the person you want when you're living.
[Ashley comes into the room]
Ashley: Hi, Jim.
Wilson: (wheeling himself out) Actually, it's James.
[A quick exterior evening shot of PPTH, then cut to Wilson’s hospital room. Wilson is asleep. House is sitting in the chair next to the bed, reading a patient file. Wilson groans and wakes up]
House: (taking off his glasses and putting them in his shirt pocket) You ready to admit that he's a self-important jerk?
Wilson: I still feel good about what I did.
House: You don't feel angry?
Wilson: Ah. I'm a little disappointed.
House: Disappointment is anger for wimps. You don't have to be so gentle about everything. It's okay to get angry once in a while.
Wilson: You can't change a table.
House: Actually, you can. Just need a coat of paint and the guts to use it.
[House gathers up his reading material, uses his hand to lower his right leg to the floor, then gets up and leaves. Wilson lays there for a moment, then reaches over to the nightstand and, wincing, picks up the phone and dials a number]
[Cut to Wilson and House entering an empty apartment. There is a large entryhall. Wilson and House walk into the huge livingroom/kitchen area]
Wilson: Bonnie told me what Cuddy bid.
House: You're gonna outbid her?
Wilson: (wandering over to the kitchen area) We do need a bigger refrigerator. She hurt my friend. She should be punished.
House: You got mad. I'm proud of you. Cuddy won't share that sentiment. How are you gonna explain it to her?
Wilson: I'm changing our address to a P.O. box.
House: (looking around at the fireplace and the large windows) She'll find out eventually.
Wilson: (hoisting himself up onto the kitchen counter) A problem delayed is a problem denied.
[Wilson takes out his phone and dials]
Wilson: Bonnie. I'll take it.
House: Baby steps.