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House Transcripts
It's like Clinic Duty for the transcribers
House MD - 4.12 Don't Ever Change 
15th-Feb-2008 01:24 am
Doc On Duty
Originally Aired: Feb 5 2008

Written by: Leonard Dick & Doris Egan
Directed by: Deran Serafian

Transcribed by: Rahul (rahulkudva)

Beta'ed by TD (topaz_eyes)

DISCLAIMER: We don't own "HOUSE." It's owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions. This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use.



NOTE: To all Jewish House-fans, if you find any mistakes regard to anything Jewish in the following transcript, please leave a comment immediately. The Beta will take care of the rest.

FADE IN.

[Hotel Banquet Room. Night. An orthodox Hasidic Jewish wedding is underway. The camera focuses on the smiling bride, Roz Viner, who sits in front of her husband-to-be, Yonatan Arnoff, who lowers her veil over her head. Other wedding guests hang around, watching happily. Under the chuppah, the Rabbi conducts the ceremony. Yonatan places a lace cloth over her head, as they listen to the Rabbi. Yonatan leans close to Roz and whispers to her.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: I don't know about you, but I'm nervous.

[Roz sees the Rabbi bless her. Yonatan takes a sip of water, followed by Roz. A photographer clicks some pictures. Yonatan gently places the ring on Roz's right index finger. And then... he stomps his foot down on a covered glass.]

JEWISH GUEST: [along with others] Mazel tov!

[A lady lifts Roz's veil. Roz grins in excitement. Pictures of Roz, Yonatan and the Rabbi are clicked. The banquet hall is filled with Hasidic Jews (with long well-groomed beards and dressed in black). There is a large partition running across the hall, with men on one side and women on the other. The banquet tables are filled with kosher food. People sit at tables and eat. Roz sits with other ladies. A beaming lady comes up to Roz.]

JEWISH LADY: Mazel tov. Many children.

[An elderly lady (Mrs. Silver) sits next to Roz.]

MRS. SILVER: This is a great thing, Roz. Oh, I am so happy for you.

ROZ VINER: Thank you, Mrs. Silver.

MRS. SILVER: Yonatan is a good man from a good family.

[Roz looks at Yonatan on the opposite side of the partition.]

ROZ VINER: I know you chose well for me. I've been blessed.

[Mrs. Silver beams at her. A girl comes over and pulls Roz up to join in the dance. Roz is led to the middle of a circle, around which the other women dance. Yonatan does the same on his side as well. Some kids try peeking into the ladies' side. Yonatan is hoisted on a chair by the men, while the ladies do the same to Roz. The chairs are bobbed up and down, as Yonatan and Roz see each other over the partition. Yonatan throws Roz one end of a scarf that he's holding. Holding opposite ends and enjoying themselves a great deal, Yonatan and Roz bob up and down. That's when it happens...]

[In slow motion, Roz's smile disappears. Yonatan notices the worried look on her face. She looks down and notices a dark red spot forming on her wedding gown. Eyes wide in horror, she looks at Yonatan and then falls to the floor, unconscious. She falls violently, as the women crowd around her. Yonatan orders the men to put him down. Once he's down, he runs around the partition to where his newly-wed wife lies unconscious. He crouches at her side, clutching her arm and feeling her head. In absolute despair, he looks around for help.]


CUT TO:

[Opening Credits.]


CUT TO:

[Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, Lobby. Day. Dr. James Wilson makes his way towards the elevator. He moves to press the button, when his finger is beaten to the punch by a really bitchin' cane. The cane is held by a bitchin' doctor (i.e., he bitches a lot), Dr. Gregory House. Wilson looks up at his friend, not really in the mood for House's expected tirade, especially given what transpired at the end of the last episode.]

GREG HOUSE: Cross-species mating. I feel like Darwin in the Galapagos.

JAMES WILSON: Amber and I have a lot in common.

GREG HOUSE: She's a Cutthroat Bitch. You cry over Dark Victory.

JAMES WILSON: Bette Davis - another strong, assertive woman.

GREG HOUSE: You don't like strong, you don't like assertive. You like needy.

[The elevator door opens.]

GREG HOUSE: She's not dying, is she?

JAMES WILSON: [acting mournful] Yes. Go 'way.

[They both enter the elevator. Wilson hits the button.]

GREG HOUSE: I give it two months.

[The door closes.]

JAMES WILSON: Hundred bucks.

[House looks at him and cocks his head, as if intrigued.]

GREG HOUSE: Not really fair. You're not objective. [shrugs] But I'm all about the teaching...

JAMES WILSON: [interrupts] We're at four months.

GREG HOUSE: [genuinely surprised, sounding hurt] You hid this from me?

JAMES WILSON: I was wrong, okay? I thought you'd be upset. I thought you'd track me down in the hallways, and...

[The elevator door opens and they step out into the first floor hallway, near Wilson's office.]

GREG HOUSE: You shouldn't have discounted the sex. She's obviously limber enough to put off the meltdown for two months.

JAMES WILSON: She's not needy. I don't need needy.

GREG HOUSE: She's scary. Why does Scary need Pathetic?

JAMES WILSON: Are you gonna talk to her?

GREG HOUSE: [acts helpless] I don't see that I have any choice.

[Wilson, seeing no way to win this argument, turns and heads to his office.]

GREG HOUSE: You all right with that?

[Wilson just keeps walking.]

GREG HOUSE: No impulse to save her from me?

[Wilson stops at his door and turns to House.]

JAMES WILSON: I've broken the pattern, House. Which is why this has a chance. I know you're too suspicious to accept that without getting out your ruler and your calipers and your scanning equipment. So, go ahead. Get it out of your system.

[He unlocks his office and enters. House stands there a beat, then starts for his office.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Diagnostics Office. Day. House limps inside. Dr... THIRTEEN holds out a folder for him, which he takes disinterestedly. As she talks, he looks around the room, seeing Dr. Eric Foreman and Dr. Chris Taub sitting at the glass table. Dr. Lawrence Kutner stands at the small pantry.]

THIRTEEN: Thirty-eight-year-old female with loss of bladder control, blood in her urine and a broken leg from collapsing at her wedding.

GREG HOUSE: Ampicillin for the UTI. [hands the folder back to THIRTEEN] Shiny cast for the leg. [to all] You guys know Wilson's dating Amber?

[Foreman and Taub look up immediately in surprise. Kutner, at the pantry, doesn't budge.]

ERIC FOREMAN: No.

CHRIS TAUB: Wilson and Amber?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: I knew.

[House looks at Kutner, quizzically. Stirring his coffee, Kutner walks to the glass table.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: I asked her out. Said she just started seeing someone.

THIRTEEN: [holding out the folder again] Cultures were negative for UTIs. No signs of previous trauma or STDs.

[House ignores the folder.]

GREG HOUSE: Kidney cancer.

THIRTEEN: CT was clean for tumors and kidney stones.

GREG HOUSE: [to Kutner] I thought Amber scared you guys.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: She does. But she also has legs that go all the way up to Canada.

[Taub shakes his head, trying to banish that picture from his mind.]

GREG HOUSE: So do Canadians. Doesn't mean I wanna date one.

THIRTEEN: [Cameron-like persistence] Her sodium's low. Could be endometriosis in the bladder.

CHRIS TAUB: Low sodium could also be from low food. Hasidic Jews fast on their wedding day.

GREG HOUSE: Or... sodium was absorbed by a toxin already in her system. [to Kutner] Was it just the legs? Or did you detect something resembling a soul?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [amused] She grew on me. If there's a toxin in her, could be carbolic acid. [clarifying] I'm talking about the patient now.

ERIC FOREMAN: That much carbolic acid, someone would've had to poison her.

GREG HOUSE: Coulda been a Cossack. If this was eighteenth-century Poland and Cossacks were into household cleansers. Which is why it's more likely that the poisoner was "poisonee".

CHRIS TAUB: Suicide's a sin.

GREG HOUSE: Corollary of "people lie" is "people sin". In my world, "people" includes Jews.

THIRTEEN: She was getting married.

GREG HOUSE: Hasidic women marry young so they can start pushing out little Hasidilings. Thirty-eight means a woman not on anyone's hot-list. Being pushed onto a guy who's not on anyone's hot-list. No way out, no way out...

THIRTEEN: [interrupts] Endometriosis fits better than an epiphany that her life is meaningless. We should start her on AIs and do a cystoscopy to confirm.

[House thinks a second and jerks a nod.]

GREG HOUSE: Fine.

[He starts to walk out.]

GREG HOUSE: Check her innards for bad cells and her home for bad karma. Carbolic acid should be on her shelf, right next to the regret and the self-loathing.

[Collecting his coat, he leaves.]


CUT TO:

[Roz and Yonatan's apartment. Day. The apartment is still a mess, with stuff still packed in preparation for the newlyweds to move in. Taub and Foreman check the place (for a little more than bad karma, hopefully). Taub drops a bucket, filled with household cleaners, on the table.]

CHRIS TAUB: [testily] These people are crazy.

ERIC FOREMAN: Yeah, she should be self-hating.

CHRIS TAUB: I'm not self-hating. I hate religious people who are out of touch with reality. You only marry someone you met three times, if they're carrying a little mistake.

ERIC FOREMAN: [rhetorically] What's their divorce rate?

CHRIS TAUB: [looking through the bucket] Cleaners are all organic, nothing with carbolic acid. You like how they hook up?

ERIC FOREMAN: Romance is just emotional foreplay, y'know. Candlelight meals, flowers - it's as much a ritual as anything these people do. Why not go with someone who's pre-vetted, shares the same values? Cut to the quick.

CHRIS TAUB: Values may give you the big picture, but time together gives you the little picture. Does she chew her food too loud? Will she leave you alone during the Final Four?

ERIC FOREMAN: You commit to something deeper, you let the little surprises slide.

CHRIS TAUB: Surprises kill. Which is why I only commit when there are no more surprises.

ERIC FOREMAN: And you have no more surprises for your wife.

[Taub holds up some rather sexy lingerie.]

CHRIS TAUB: Do you think this came up on date number two?

[Foreman is more interested in a large platinum album and some CDs.]

ERIC FOREMAN: You ever heard of a Hasidic Jew into hard rock? She's listed as a producer on all of these.

[Taub comes over to take a look.]

CHRIS TAUB: Where there's rock and roll, [holding up the lingerie] and sex... usually, there's drugs.

[He pulls out his cell phone and speed dials.]


CUT TO:

[Aerial View of a snow-covered PPTH. Day.]


CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. THIRTEEN and Kutner gently question Roz about her past.]

ROZ VINER: I'm Baalat tshuva. I became Hasidic about six months ago.

THIRTEEN: And before six months ago? Music business isn't exactly known for its holiness.

ROZ VINER: [reluctantly] Heroin. But I've been clean for months.

[THIRTEEN smiles. She looks outside at Yonatan, pacing anxiously. Roz turns her head to look at him.]

ROZ VINER: Yonatan knows. The broad strokes. He never actually asks the details. Says what's important is the person that I am now, not the person I was then.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: How do you go all the way from...?

ROZ VINER: [obviously tired of this question] Just took a class. Then I took another class.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: And you just completely left the music business?

ROZ VINER: Pop music is considered frivolous. Same reason we don't watch TV or go to movies.

THIRTEEN: Your drug use may have caused some long term damage. We're gonna need to take a hair sample to test for latent toxins.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [almost feeling sorry for her, because...] So you can never watch Star Wars again.

[THIRTEEN closes her eyes wearily. Roz frowns at the question. Kutner doesn't think it's a dumb question.]


CUT TO:

[Amber's Apartment. Day. Amber Volakis enters her apartment, carrying her mail. Locking the door, she places the mail on the table. She goes to hang up her coat and looks in the mirror directly in front of her. Her eyes go wide and she whirls around to look at the head, that juts above a chair across the room.]

GREG HOUSE: You figured that I'll hire you...

[He swivels the chair around to face her. He is reading one of her books.]

GREG HOUSE: ... if you promised to dump Wilson.

AMBER VOLAKIS: How did you...?

GREG HOUSE: Wilson had a key.

['Nuff said for Amber. She starts to take off her coat.]

GREG HOUSE: You figure that I'll make your life hell at first, but I'll eventually see how good you are and keep you.

[She removes the coat. She's wearing a grey sweatshirt, with "McGILL" (in red) emblazoned on it.]

AMBER VOLAKIS: [dryly] It's a good plan, don't you think? Perfectly tailored to your personality.

[House remembers seeing it before during a certain card game (see "Season 2, Episode 19 - House Vs. God"). He thinks a beat about her reply.]

GREG HOUSE: No, it's not. You know it's not. Means you just wanna stay in my orbit 'cause you figure I'll eventually realize that I made a mistake and you're gonna be able to rub my face in it.

AMBER VOLAKIS: [humoring him] I can't wait. It's gonna be awesome.

[Again, he thinks.]

GREG HOUSE: No, it's not. And you know it's not. 'Cause you know that even if I made a mistake, I'd never admit that I made a mistake. Which means that you're just toying with Wilson to toy with me.

[He stands up.]

GREG HOUSE: [drops the book on the nearby table] Your goal is pure feral vengeance.

[She walks up to him.]

AMBER VOLAKIS: Innocent bystander, but there's a greater good.

GREG HOUSE: No, that's not it. Because a bag of flaming poop bypasses the bystander.

AMBER VOLAKIS: So... which is it, House? Am I in this for you? Or am I in this for him?

[A silent awkward beat passes. House looks down at the sweatshirt.]

GREG HOUSE: Give him back his sweatshirt. 'Pit stains don't become you.

[He limps past her and leaves. She smirks.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Hallway/House's Office. Day. The elevator door opens. Kutner and Taub stand outside expectantly, as House walks into the hallway.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Treatment had no effect. Rules out endometriosis. And her hair sample was negative for residue drugs.

CHRIS TAUB: This woman lived in the fast lane till six months ago. Maybe we're missing something.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: She admitted drug use. Doubt she's holding out on her days as an asbestos miner.

CHRIS TAUB: Cryoglobulinemia might account for the symptoms.

[They enter House's office.]

GREG HOUSE: Except for the one you missed.

CHRIS TAUB: There's no change in her condition.

GREG HOUSE: I'm not talking about a new symptom. I'm talking about one that presented six months ago.

[He goes behind his desk.]

CHRIS TAUB: Look, she's nuts, but we can't just give her ten ccs of atheism and send her home.

GREG HOUSE: Religion is a symptom of irrational belief and groundless hope. Altered mental status, on the other hand, is a symptom of porphyria.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: She didn't develop uncontrollable anger, crying, anxiety. She just decided to go to temple.

GREG HOUSE: The woman didn't _just_ choose to keep kosher. [sits] She went directly to the extremes of Hasidism, a life of stringent rules. She became a masochist.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: She didn't like her old life, so she changed it.

GREG HOUSE: People don't change. They might want to. They need to.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [pointing at Taub] Taub gave up a six figure plastic surgery career for this job. That mean he has porphyria?

GREG HOUSE: He switched jobs to save his marriage. He did it to avoid change.

CHRIS TAUB: [hesitates a beat] He's right. You don't suddenly choose crazy without suddenly being crazy.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: No, no, if she walked away from everything to go base jumping or live with apes, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

GREG HOUSE: We would if she was also tinkling blood out of her overexcited bladder. Pump Hadassah full of hematin and give her a phlebotomy.

[The two fellows leave. House sits pensively.]


CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. Kutner tells Roz about the procedure, while Yonatan stands nearby.]

ROZ VINER: Bloodletting?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Porphyria is a rare genetic disorder that causes an overproduction of a certain protein. Draining the blood relieves...

YONATAN ARNOFF: The hair test for damage from drugs showed she has a rare genetic disease?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Not-not exactly. We're testing her now to confirm.

YONATAN ARNOFF: You're treating it before you confirm it?

[He gently places his hand on Roz's head.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Blood test results take twenty-four hours.

YONATAN ARNOFF: You must have seen something that makes you suspect it.

[Kutner has a "deer-in-the-headlights" look on his face.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Uhh, Dr. House has a theory.

ROZ VINER: A theory based on what?

[Kutner hesitates.]


CUT TO:

[Lisa Cuddy's Office. Day. Yonatan complains to Lisa Cuddy, Dean on Medicine, while House hangs around.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: We'd like a different doctor.

LISA CUDDY: I assure you that Dr. House is our best...

YONATAN ARNOFF: Then we will settle for second-best, someone who doesn't think my wife is sick just because she's religious.

GREG HOUSE: If you prefer, I can give your wife my second-best diagnosis.

[Cuddy turns around to look at House, who stands behind her desk. Yonatan has no interest in House's diagnosis.]

GREG HOUSE: D'you know Wilson's dating Amber?

LISA CUDDY: I have reviewed the chart. Someone on your team must have pointed out that cryoglobulinemia also fits the symptoms.

GREG HOUSE: Yes, it fits _many_ of the symptoms.

YONATAN ARNOFF: My wife's body is sick. Her mind and soul are fine.

GREG HOUSE: You live according to God's six hundred commandments, right?

YONATAN ARNOFF: [folding his arms] Six hundred thirteen.

GREG HOUSE: You understand them all?

YONATAN ARNOFF: Takes a lifetime of learning...

GREG HOUSE: But you follow the ones you don't understand because the ones you do understand make sense, and you believe that the guy who created them knows what he's doing.

YONATAN ARNOFF: Of course.

GREG HOUSE: So you will trust my diagnosis and you'll let me treat her, because in this temple, [scarily] I am Dr. Yahweh.

[Yonatan has a look of disbelief on his face.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: [wagging his finger at Cuddy] I want a new doctor.

[He walks out.]

LISA CUDDY: I'm starting her on indomethacin for cryoglobulinemia.

GREG HOUSE: People don't change. For example, I'm gonna keep repeating "people don't change".

LISA CUDDY: So alcoholics that successfully go through treatment don't exist.

GREG HOUSE: They're still alcoholics. If they never take a drink as long as they live, it's only 'cause they didn't live long enough.

LISA CUDDY: If you're dissatisfied with your life, changing it is a symptom of mental health.

[She puts her hand on his shoulder.]

LISA CUDDY: I get why that concept is strange to you...

[His beeper goes off. He looks at it.]


CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. A nurse hurriedly pushes a crash cart inside, while another helps her. THIRTEEN holds Roz upright in bed, as Roz wheezes heavily. Cuddy enters the room, followed by House. Yonatan, seeing the commotion, walks inside.]

THIRTEEN: O2 sats are 85. She's hypoxic. We might need to intubate.

[Roz coughs violently. Cuddy rushes around the bed and takes the stethoscope from THIRTEEN.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: [worried] What's wrong with her?

LISA CUDDY: It's definitely not cryoglobulinemia.

GREG HOUSE: [pointing upwards] Better ask Him.


HARD CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. Roz lies awake in bed, an oxygen mask strapped to her face. Yonatan sits nearby.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [vo] We kept her on oxygen overnight.


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. House stands in front of the whiteboard, which has "BLOODY URINE, BLADDER CONTROL, ALTERED MENTAL STATUS, DYSPNEA" written on it. The Fellows and Foreman sit at the glass table.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Her respiratory rate stabilized, and her O-sat's back up to 95. Saw Amber drop off Wilson this morning.

GREG HOUSE: [hisses] Yes. The male always drives the female. So what caused the breathing problem?

THIRTEEN: Pulmonary involvement rules out porphyria.

CHRIS TAUB: She kiss him or he kiss her?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: I missed it. The lab tech with the tongue stud also pulled up.

ERIC FOREMAN: Wegener's would explain her elevated sed rate.

GREG HOUSE: Wegener's wouldn't explain the changed mental status.

THIRTEEN: Actually, we've been trying to ignore that part of the whiteboard.

GREG HOUSE: Well, I wrote it in black. I'm always serious when I use black. Lupus would explain...

THIRTEEN: [interrupts] Maybe she didn't change.

GREG HOUSE: Are you agreeing with me or you making a point?

THIRTEEN: I'm making a point.

GREG HOUSE: That's gonna take longer.

THIRTEEN: How do we know that the real Roz isn't who she is now and who she was then? Can't we say that her previous life was true without making her present one a fraud?

GREG HOUSE: "Life is messy" argument. Nice. Explains everything without explaining anything. If it's lupus, there's a heart problem we don't know about yet. Run her through a stress test. If she has a heart attack, I'm right.

CHRIS TAUB: Or we could wait. Hope that...

GREG HOUSE: You're afraid to give her a heart attack.

CHRIS TAUB: Of course we're afraid to...

GREG HOUSE: No reason to be afraid. Unless you think I'm right.

CHRIS TAUB: [no other choice] It's Wegener's.

[Foreman frowns.]

CHRIS TAUB: But we'll have the crash cart just in case.

[He raises his eyebrows at House, waiting for his approval. House gives a small nod.]


CUT TO;

[Aerial view of a snow-covered Princeton. Day.]


CUT TO:

[Fusion Restaurant. Day.]

GREG HOUSE: [feigning pleasant surprise] Oh, my God! What are you guys doing here?

[The camera pans around to where he's looking and focuses on Wilson and Amber, who aren't feigning their annoyed surprise. They're standing at a table near the door, waiting to be seated. House approaches them, further enhancing their annoyance.]

GREG HOUSE: I had a sudden yen for Fusion.

JAMES WILSON: [to Amber, apologetically] I put a different restaurant in my date book. I'm firing my assistant.

AMBER VOLAKIS: That's okay. [to House] Hi, Greg. And I call you Greg because we're now social equals.

GREG HOUSE: I call you Cutthroat Bitch... well, Quod erat demonstrandum. And I speak in Latin because I don't try to hide what an ass I am.

AMBER VOLAKIS: I assume you'd like to join us? It'll be easier to observe our interaction if you're at the same table.

JAMES WILSON: If we ever get seated.

AMBER VOLAKIS: Excuse me.

[She walks away.]

JAMES WILSON: No, no, I, uh...

[But she's already gone. House gives Wilson a sly smile. Amber walks over to the maitre d'.]

AMBER VOLAKIS: We've been waiting for...

GREG HOUSE: Any minute now, she's gonna hit him in the face with your testicles.

[House picks up Amber's drink.]

JAMES WILSON: She tends to treat ev... [notices House sipping Amber's drink] She tends to treat every event like it's the last copter out of Saigon.

[Amber seems to be making headway with the maitre d'. She forces some menus into his hand, so he can hand it to them when he seats them.]

GREG HOUSE: She's the anti-Wilson. She's a force for evil.

JAMES WILSON: She has an annoying quality. Perhaps even two. If I was perfect, I would date perfect.

[Successful in her mission, Amber waves to Wilson and beckons him to come. She and the maitre d' walk to the table. House notices Wilson smiling at her.]

GREG HOUSE: You like that!

[Collecting Amber's drink, he follows Wilson (who holds his drink) towards the table.]

JAMES WILSON: It's annoying, but she's good at it.

GREG HOUSE: Wait a second.

[They stop walking.]

GREG HOUSE: This isn't just about the sex. You like her personality. You like that she's conniving. You like that she has no regard for consequences. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves...

[House stops suddenly, overcome with an horrible sense of déja vu. Wilson, noticing House's sudden silence, looks at him.]

GREG HOUSE: [wide-eyed] Oh, my God. You're sleeping with me.

[Wilson looks away in equal surprise. House feels awkward. Handing Amber's drink to Wilson, he beats a hasty retreat. Wilson walks to the table.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Stress Test Room. Day. Roz undergoes the arm stress test (her leg is broken). Taub sits in the adjoining room, while Yonatan watches.]

CHRIS TAUB: [into microphone] I need you to go faster, Roz.

[Roz continues to pedal with her arms.]

CHRIS TAUB: Little harder.

ROZ VINER: [testily] I am going harder, dammit.

[Yonatan reacts at the curse uttered by his wife.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: [to Taub] What if Dr. House was right? And Roz did make a radical change?

CHRIS TAUB: Lupus is chronic but treatable.

YONATAN ARNOFF: And with the treatment, it'd undo the change? She'll be the way she was before I knew her?

CHRIS TAUB: I don't think it's likely.

YONATAN ARNOFF: Then you don't know for sure.

[Yonatan stands, silently watching his wife pedal away.]

CHRIS TAUB: You'd find someone else.

YONATAN ARNOFF: There isn't someone else.

CHRIS TAUB: You've had three dates.

YONATAN ARNOFF: How long have you been married?

CHRIS TAUB: Twelve years.

YONATAN ARNOFF: And is she the one?

CHRIS TAUB: We wouldn't still be together if she weren't. I love her as much now as the day...

YONATAN ARNOFF: Well, you should love her more. The more you know someone, the more you should love them.

[Taub looks at Yonatan, contemplatively. Roz's vitals seem stable.]

CHRIS TAUB: [standing] Okay, that's enough, Roz.

[He enters into the stress test room. A tired Roz stops pedaling. Taub walks up to her, followed by Yonatan.]

CHRIS TAUB: Your heart's as strong as a battleship.

YONATAN ARNOFF: Does this mean Dr. House was wrong?

[Roz starts to get up, but her unbroken leg buckles and she falls to the floor, groaning in pain.]

ROZ VINER: Oh! Oh, my leg!

[Taub puts his fingers to her ankle. She continues to groan as she lies on the floor.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Lobby. Day. House limps inside the lobby from outside. Foreman joins him.]

ERIC FOREMAN: Heart's strong enough to prove you wrong about the change in mental status.

GREG HOUSE: Only proves this isn't lupus. Just as the leg pain proves it isn't Wegener's.

ERIC FOREMAN: Leg pain can be from nerve entrapment. We're thinking blood clot.

[House stops walking.]

GREG HOUSE: Do an MRI to look for the clot. Then do an fMRI.

ERIC FOREMAN: An MRI alone will detect...

GREG HOUSE: If the clot hasn't dissolved. An fMRI can show signs of near-ischemic stroke in post-ischemic parts of the brain.

[House looks at the snack-vending machine near the wall.]

GREG HOUSE: Gimme ten bucks.

ERIC FOREMAN: No.

GREG HOUSE: I missed lunch.

ERIC FOREMAN: I thought you went...

GREG HOUSE: [annoyed] I missed lunch!

[Foreman slaps ten bucks into House's outstretched palm. House limps over to the machine.]


CUT TO:

[MRI Room. Day. Roz is inside the MRI. Foreman and THIRTEEN sit in the adjoining room.]

THIRTEEN: Good symmetrical activity in both hemispheres.

ERIC FOREMAN: Caudal structures look okay. She hasn't changed? Sex, drugs, rock and roll, the six hundred rules of God are all in there somewhere.

THIRTEEN: We oversimplify people. It's how the human mind works. Everything's on or off. Everything's got a... category.

ERIC FOREMAN: You don't like it. You don't wanna be... oversimplified. [into microphone] Roz, move your right leg.

THIRTEEN: No one can describe themselves in ten words. Why would we wanna hear anyone else do it?

ERIC FOREMAN: So you keep it a mystery. No categories if no one knows anything.

THIRTEEN: Do you think maybe you're oversimplifying me now?

ERIC FOREMAN: No. I'm sure you have many reasons to keep yourself a mystery, besides the fact that you're bisexual.

[THIRTEEN turns to look at him, wide-eyed, a half-smile on her lips.]

ERIC FOREMAN: Uh, denial would have worked before the long, vacant stare. [into microphone] Roz, move your left leg just an inch.

[THIRTEEN looks surprised at his obviously correct assessment.]

ERIC FOREMAN: People who have a problem with boxes are people who don't fit in them.

THIRTEEN: [chuckling] You've been working for House for a long time.

ERIC FOREMAN: [smiling] No need for name calling.

THIRTEEN: I would ask if this was gonna be lunchtime gossip, but lucky for me...

ERIC FOREMAN: I don't give a damn.

[The door opens and House enters.]

GREG HOUSE: How's our Mental Yentl?

THIRTEEN: MRI shows no sign of clots. fMRI shows no problem areas.

GREG HOUSE: Go restart her IV.

ERIC FOREMAN: What's wrong with it?

GREG HOUSE: Nothing. But like so many procedures we put patients through, it hurts. Which, if she's enjoying it, will show up in pretty colors.

THIRTEEN: [mildly outraged] This is why you wanted an fMRI?

GREG HOUSE: It showed she didn't have a blood clot, which is diagnostically relevant. And it can show that she's become a masochist, also diagnostically relevant. And it'll be cool.

[Foreman throws him a look.]

GREG HOUSE: Either explain which part of my analysis didn't make sense. Or go do it.

[Foreman testily removes his ID cards (with magnetic strips) and gets up.]

ERIC FOREMAN: It isn't cool.

[He walks into the MRI room, while House sits in his place, next to THIRTEEN. Foreman goes over to Roz. He looks into the MRI as Roz.]

ERIC FOREMAN: Sorry.

[He puts his hand over her IV patch. She reacts in pain, but doesn't move much. Her lips are moving, while her eyes are shut. House looks at the monitor, which has a 3-dimensional model of her brain, with different regions highlighted at different intervals.]

GREG HOUSE: Heavens. Look at her limbic system. Pleasure centers are lighting up like a Hanukkah bush. Foreman must have a touch like an elephant.

THIRTEEN: [into microphone] Okay, Roz. We've got what we need.

[She gets up and walks into the MRI room. House remains seated.]

GREG HOUSE: Yes, it _was_ impressive. [tight smile]

[Foreman and THIRTEEN stand on opposite sides of Roz, who still lies on the MRI table, her eyes closed and lips moving rapidly.]

THIRTEEN: Roz. You all right?

[Roz opens her eyes and looks at THIRTEEN.]

ROZ VINER: Oh, sorry. I was praying.

THIRTEEN: All through the procedure?

ROZ VINER: No. When Dr. Foreman apologized, I knew something bad was gonna happen.

THIRTEEN: [triumphantly, to House] She was praying. Could explain the brain activity.

[THIRTEEN walks into the adjoining room. Roz starts to get up. Just as she sits up and drops her legs off the table, the monitors start beeping wildly. She goes limp. Foreman grabs her, preventing from falling to the floor.]

ERIC FOREMAN: BP and heart rate are dropping. She's crashing!

[THIRTEEN rushes to help. They manage to put Roz on her wheelchair. Just as suddenly as they started beeping, the monitors go silent. The BP, heart rate and SpO2 all climb back to normal. Foreman looks at the monitors in surprise.]

ERIC FOREMAN: She's stabilizing.

[House goes over to them. Meanwhile, Roz manages to regain consciousness. House looks at Roz and the monitors.]

GREG HOUSE: Get her up.

[Though reluctant, THIRTEEN and Foreman start to help Roz up off the wheelchair.]

GREG HOUSE: All the way up. On her feet.

[No sooner do they manage to get her on her feet, than the monitors go wild again and Roz loses consciousness. Foreman and THIRTEEN help her back into the wheelchair. Again, the monitors stabilize. House watches in interest.]

GREG HOUSE: Make her do that again.


HARD CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office/Hallway outside. Day. Pushing back the blinds, House peers outside the glass walls, into the hallway. While Kutner stands near the whiteboard, Foreman, THIRTEEN and Taub sit at the glass table.]

ERIC FOREMAN: We started her on fludrocortisone and ephedrine.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: It's Planet of the Apes. Apes are the humans, humans are the apes. It's Wacky Wednesday, Opposite Day.

[The others wonder what he's talking about.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: When you stand up, your BP and heart rate are supposed to go up, not...

GREG HOUSE: Got it.

[Moving away from the glass wall, he faces his team.]

GREG HOUSE: So what causes bloody urine, loss of bladder control, leg pain, altered mental status, and [backwards] pressure-blood in direction-wrong?

ERIC FOREMAN: Pheochromocytoma.

GREG HOUSE: Low catecholamines in the urine means no pheochromocytoma in the Jewess.

THIRTEEN: Could be systemic sclerosis.

GREG HOUSE: [reminding] Mental status!

CHRIS TAUB: She was praying.

GREG HOUSE: She was in pain. You no longer think she's crazy?

CHRIS TAUB: I can... see why she'd be attracted... to that life.

GREG HOUSE: [shrugs defeatedly] You drank the Manishewitz-flavored Kool-Aid.

CHRIS TAUB: I'm not saying I agree. I'm just saying...

GREG HOUSE: That there's a rational basis for the irrational.

CHRIS TAUB: They have something we don't have.

GREG HOUSE: Imaginary friends.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: If the toaster's not working, wiring could be bad.

GREG HOUSE: Which debate is that metaphor supposed to help us with?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Electrical problem in the heart. Arrhythmia messes with the blood flow when she stands, causes low BP and heart rate. Could also impact mental status. Everybody's happy.

[House hears the elevator ding. Quickly, he parts the blinds and sees Wilson coming out of the elevator. A hospital trustee holds a clipboard out for him to sign.]

GREG HOUSE: Run an EP study of her heart. Find where the wiring's verklempt.

[He goes outside. Wilson signs the clipboard and hands it back to the trustee, while House limps over. Wilson is not in the mood for House's grouses and rolls his head.]

GREG HOUSE: Went by your hotel this morning. They told me you moved out. Moved in with CB?

JAMES WILSON: No, apparently, I moved in with you.

GREG HOUSE: The very fact that you're resisting my insight proves to me...

JAMES WILSON: [interrupts] House, you're right. Why not? Why not date you? I-i-it's brilliant.

[House looks around, hoping no one's listening.]

JAMES WILSON: We've known each other for years, We've put up with all kinds of crap from each other, and we keep coming back. We're a couple!

GREG HOUSE: Are we still speaking metaphorically?

JAMES WILSON: Amber is exactly what I need and you would agree if you weren't mired in self-loathing topped with a thin crust of megalomania.

GREG HOUSE: Hey. That's my best friend's girl you're talking about.

[Pointing at House, Wilson walks away, smiling.]

GREG HOUSE: I was wrong.

JAMES WILSON: House, you're right.

GREG HOUSE: She's not me. Well, she is me. But that's... not why she's attractive. She's a needy version of me.

JAMES WILSON: [dryly] Hard to imagine such a mythical creature.

GREG HOUSE: You started seeing her right after I fired her.

JAMES WILSON: [correcting] I started seeing her four months ago.

GREG HOUSE: [shakes his head] She told Kutner it was four weeks.

[Wilson exhales sharply and drops his head.]

GREG HOUSE: You lied to me. There was money on the line.

JAMES WILSON: [defensively] Because I knew how you'd react, and I knew you wouldn't pay me anyway!

GREG HOUSE: You knew that I was right.

JAMES WILSON: She wasn't needy. She was in a... bad situation. There's a difference.

[He walks off-screen towards his office.]

GREG HOUSE: Not to your libido.

[A short beat later, Wilson walks back on-screen.]

JAMES WILSON: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why are you doing this? Every time I agree with you, you find a new argument. What are you trying to avoid?

[House glowers at him.]

JAMES WILSON: Well, if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved... pfch! [heading towards his office] C'est la vie. And... I use the French because... you're an ass.

[He enters his office. House's lip curls upwards.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Procedure Room. Day. Kutner runs an EP study of Roz's heart, while Taub looks on.]

CHRIS TAUB: Right atrium normal, no arrhythmia.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: You can become a Dar master. Does that require further explanation?

CHRIS TAUB: [ignores the jibe] Right ventricle normal.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: In college, I was really into science fiction. Not like the guys with the six-hundred-dollar prosthetic ears who could swear in Romulan. That was embarrassing to the rest of us who just thought it was good, smart literature. Went to one convention. By senior year, I was Dar master in the Klingon Empire.

CHRIS TAUB: I'm not gonna become Hasidic. I'm not even gonna become slightly more Reform. [sighs] Coronary sinus normal.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: You can't have your eyes opened to something and not act on it.

CHRIS TAUB: I haven't had my eyes opened. I just... don't think they're crazy anymore.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Then they have something to offer.

CHRIS TAUB: She's living proof that sane people can make radical changes. But House, he thinks that he can bully...

[Suddenly, Roz speaks, lying on the bed.]

ROZ VINER: [Hebrew] No loshon hora.

CHRIS TAUB: I'm sorry?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [to Taub] I think she's telling you to stop deflecting.

ROZ VINER: [drowsily] No loshon hora. Evil tongue. Gossip.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: 'S okay. Thanks to the sedative, you won't remember it.

ROZ VINER: Words are permanent. Someday you'll say something that you'll wish you could take back.

CHRIS TAUB: [looks at the monitor] His bundle's normal. Pathways are all clean. No arrhythmias.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: If the toaster doesn't work and the wiring in the house is fine, problem's gotta be in the city's power grid.

CHRIS TAUB: Autonomic nerve disorder could be Riley-Day syndrome.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [to Roz] Congratulations on your wedding. [whispering] You have a rare and incurable degenerative disease.

[Her eyes remain closed. She doesn't react.]

CHRIS TAUB: I'll set up for a thermoregulatory sweat test.

ROZ VINER: [incoherently, softly] Bisexual.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [suddenly interested] What?

ROZ VINER: I could hear them talking from inside the MRI.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Hear who? [to Taub] I heard the word sex.

ROZ VINER: It was interesting.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: What was interesting?

CHRIS TAUB: Doesn't matter.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: We're doctors. We never know what's gonna matter. She said sex.

CHRIS TAUB: If she wants to tell you when she wakes up...

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [smiling] Yeah, these people aren't gonna change you at all.

[Taub remains silent.]


CUT TO:

[Cuddy's Office. Day. Cuddy has her back to the door, collecting some stuff from her table. House barges in.]

GREG HOUSE: I need you to sleep with Wilson.

[Cuddy frowns a little, not really surprised or offended by the request, considering who it's coming from.]

LISA CUDDY: [deadpan] Good morning.

GREG HOUSE: He's involved with... an inappropriate woman.

LISA CUDDY: His people are sheep-herders and Amber's are... cattlemen?

GREG HOUSE: He's combined two of his worst qualities - his love for me and his love for need.

[Having collected all the files she needs, she turns to House.]

GREG HOUSE: As administrator of this hospital, you have to save your star oncologist.

LISA CUDDY: Wish I could help, but as administrator, there are some people in Accounting I'm scheduled to sleep with first.

[Flashing a helpless smile at him, she walks out. He rolls his eyes and follows.]

GREG HOUSE: Wilson has a pattern with women. He saves them, then he betrays them. Which then causes guilt. Which then causes him to go save somebody else. For example, a hospital bureaucrat nearing forty who has no personal life. I suggest you go braless.

LISA CUDDY: I get that "sleep with" is your way of saying I should talk to him?

[They reach the elevators. She hits the button.]

GREG HOUSE: No. I really mean "sleep with".

LISA CUDDY: [smiling] You're not worried this relationship will fail. You're worried it'll succeed. That Wilson will no longer be at your beck and call 24/7. That your best friend will change.

GREG HOUSE: [argues] People don't change just because they wish they could.

LISA CUDDY: [really enjoying this] And it bugs you that he wishes he could! [comforting] You'll never lose your friend, House. You're the long-distance runner of neediness.

[The elevator opens. Looking smug, she enters.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH, Sauna Room. Day. Undergoing a thermoregulatory sweat test, Roz sits upright in the glass chamber, not dressed too modestly. She's covered with an orange powder. Watching her from the other side of a glass window are THIRTEEN, Taub and Yonatan.]

THIRTEEN: [explaining to Yonatan] As the chamber heats up, Roz's body temperature should also rise, making her sweat and turning the powder purple. No change in color means no sweating, which means her central nervous system is damaged.

YONATAN ARNOFF: [ill-at-ease] I shouldn't see her like this.

THIRTEEN: We could have a diagnosis as soon as she comes out of the chamber. It might be better if you stayed.

YONATAN ARNOFF: [turning away] It's disrespectful. I'm sure she imagined the first time her husband would see her bare like this would be... celebrating the marriage?

THIRTEEN: Given the circumstances, I think Roz would sacrifice modesty to have you with her.

YONATAN ARNOFF: Please. Don't do that.

THIRTEEN: [confused] What? I-I think it's nice that you're here. I think...

YONATAN ARNOFF: You think it's sweet. That I care for her modesty, But that it's archaic and ultimately irrelevant.

[THIRTEEN opens hr mouth to explain, but Yonatan keeps speaking.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: Our traditions aren't just blind rituals. They... they mean something. They-they have purpose.

[A silent beat passes.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: I respect my wife. [looking away from Roz] And I respect her body.

[The monitors suddenly start beeping. THIRTEEN looks at the results and jumps out of her seat.]

THIRTEEN: Her body temperature's stopped climbing.

[Taub scrambles up as THIRTEEN races into the chamber to aid Roz.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: What's going on?

THIRTEEN: She's having a seizure! [calling out] Need a crash cart!

[Inside, despite the heat of the sauna, Roz is actually freezing. Her lips are blue, her eyes roll up into her head, as she shivers heavily.]

THIRTEEN: Blankets too! She's freezing!


HARD CUT TO:

[ICU. Day. Roz lies in a bed, still shivering. She's really pale now.]

GREG HOUSE: [vo] She was supposed to sweat and she froze.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [vo] Return to the Planet of the Apes.


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. House sits in front of the whiteboard, looking at it intently as he speaks. The Fellows and Foreman stand around him.]

GREG HOUSE: Hypothermia caused the seizure. What caused the hypothermia?

[The whiteboard has two new symptoms - "ORTHOSTATIC HYPOTENSION" and "HYPOTHERMIA" (underlined).]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Could be an infection.

THIRTEEN: Her white blood cell count was fine.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: When she was admitted. She coulda picked something up here.

ERIC FOREMAN: Complication on a complication?

GREG HOUSE: Body's doing the opposite of what it's supposed to. Her body's Wilson. How do we respond to that?

ERIC FOREMAN: We accept that he's happy.

GREG HOUSE: We do the opposite.

THIRTEEN: So you want us to, what, send the patient home?

GREG HOUSE: Infection... means that something's been added to the body, something that should be expelled. What's the opposite of that?

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Something missing from the body. Could be an enzyme or a hormone.

ERIC FOREMAN: [suggesting] Cortisol. Could be Addison's.

GREG HOUSE: It fits. Every symptom.

THIRTEEN: I'll run a cortisol stimulation test.

[She leaves, walking past House, who continues to stare at the whiteboard.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Pharmacy/Lobby. Day. Wilson stands at the pharmacy, looking at some charts. Cuddy walks up to him, a mischievous smile on her face.]

LISA CUDDY: Are you sure she doesn't wanna just take you back to her lair, hang you upside down, and deposit her eggs in you?

[He's thrown for about a second, but recovers immediately.]

JAMES WILSON: Excellent disguise, House.

[He starts to walk away from her, but she follows.]

LISA CUDDY: You two are really that serious?

[He stops and turns to her.]

JAMES WILSON: She's pretty. She's funny. Maybe she's a little more...

LISA CUDDY: [suggests] ... evil?

JAMES WILSON: [firm] ... aggressive than you'd expect from me. But... I'm happy. Can't I just enjoy what that feels like for a while?

LISA CUDDY: How many people have looked at you trustingly while you gave them a fatal prognosis? But you knew it was kinder to tell them the truth. Amber compulsively looks out
for number one. You compulsively look out for the person that you're with. Your needs are gonna feed her needs until all that's left is a Wilson chalk outline on the floor.

[Wilson is a bit taken aback by the morbidity in her voice and words.]

LISA CUDDY: Sorry.

[Shaking her head, she leaves. Wilson, still dazed by the conversation, turns.]

JAMES WILSON: Wow!


CUT TO:

[ICU. Day. THIRTEEN enters the room and walks smilingly to Roz's bed. Roz is much better (not freezing anymore). Yonatan sits at her side.]

ROZ VINER: That cortisol stuff is great. Does it work on everything?

THIRTEEN: I take it you're feeling better.

ROZ VINER: Oh, still weak. But yeah.

[Using her stethoscope, THIRTEEN checks Roz's heartbeat. Roz sighs and looks at Yonatan.]

ROZ VINER: You must be so tired. You should go home and get some sleep.

YONATAN ARNOFF: [encouragingly squeezing her legs] I'll stay.

ROZ VINER: I never told you, but you are much better looking than Mrs. Silver led me to expect.

YONATAN ARNOFF: She never liked me. When I was eight, I threw up on her shoes at my uncle's wedding.

[They chuckle at the funny memory. THIRTEEN, however, is not so amused by what she sees on Roz's side.]

THIRTEEN: Your abdomen is little swollen.

ROZ VINER: [weakly lifting her head] Mm?

YONATAN ARNOFF: Is it serious?

THIRTEEN: It's hard to say. Sometimes it can mean a liver issue. We'll have to test.

[Roz sits upright and groans.]

ROZ VINER: Oh, oh, dizziness is getting...

[The monitors start beeping. Her eyes rolled up again, Roz falls back onto her pillow.]

THIRTEEN: [calling to a nurse] She's going into shock! I need another liter of saline! Type and cross two units!

YONATAN ARNOFF: [worried] What's happening to her?

[THIRTEEN inserts a needle into the swollen part of Roz's abdomen. Roz groans as the needle penetrates her skin and starts to chant something softly. As THIRTEEN pulls back the syringe plunger, she sees the syringe filling up with blood. She looks up to Yonatan, grimly.]

THIRTEEN: She's bleeding internally.

YONATAN ARNOFF: [frightened] She's saying the Sh'ma. She thinks she's dying.

[Roz continues praying softly.]


CUT TO:

[ICU. Day. Dr. Robert Chase points to an MRI (stuck to the lightboard) and speaks to Roz. Yonatan looks nervous.]

ROBERT CHASE: The MRI shows you're bleeding internally, but not where it's coming from. The blood can only keep you stable for so long. Our best option is to open you up and search.

YONATAN ARNOFF: [hopeful] But you can fix it?

ROBERT CHASE: If we find the leak.

ROZ VINER: You find the bleeding, you find the disease?

ROBERT CHASE: No. But it could keep you alive long enough so Dr. House can find what's wrong with you.

[A beat passes, as Chase and Yonatan look at Roz, waiting for her answer.]

ROZ VINER: [shaking her head, small voice] No.

[Chase and Yonatan are surprised.]

ROZ VINER: I don't wanna have the surgery.

ROBERT CHASE: It's the only chance you've got.

ROZ VINER: I don't want to have the surgery until after sunset. [to Yonatan] I'm probably gonna die anyway. I just wanna share one Shabbat with my husband.

[Fighting back tears, Yonatan leans over to Roz and whispers to her.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: Roz, please. The Torah commands us to preserve life.

ROZ VINER: I've waited thirty-eight years to find what I wanted. I can wait another eight hours. [nods] I'll leave the rest to God, okay?

[Yonatan closes his eyes and sighs in resignation. Roz nods encouragingly at him. Chase watches.]


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. Chase explains the situation to House, Foreman and the fellows.]

ROBERT CHASE: I had a Rabbi call. She's adamant.

GREG HOUSE: She's not a masochist, she's suicidal. [sarcastically] Nice work, Chase.

ROBERT CHASE: [deadpan] Yeah... I should have had twin Rabbis call. Can I go?

GREG HOUSE: We need you.

[Chase seems surprised by House's words.]

GREG HOUSE: So, instead of a few days, we now have a few hours to figure this out. [again] Nice work, Chase.

ROBERT CHASE: Why do you need me?

GREG HOUSE: Saying, "nice work, Chase" when you're not here is pointless.

[Chase smiles wryly and starts to walk out.]

GREG HOUSE: Seriously, we need you.

[Chase walks out anyway.]

THIRTEEN: We should X-ray for malformations of the rib that could cause arterial twisting.

GREG HOUSE: Malformations don't cause bloody urine.

CHRIS TAUB: She's not suicidal. She made a commitment to a new life with her husband and she wants one meaningful experience in that life.

ERIC FOREMAN: She just met the guy.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Taub just met her and he's already so in love, he's ready to let her die and take her back to the home planet for a burial in the lava sea of Tormiac.

[Taub looks heavenward in frustration and shoots Kutner a look, before speaking.]

CHRIS TAUB: It's who he might be. She's connecting with all the years she's not gonna have.

GREG HOUSE: Better way of connecting to those years is to actually have them.

[Chase opens the door and stands there.]

ROBERT CHASE: You want more time?

[He enters.]

ROBERT CHASE: Joshua got God to make the sun stand still. No reason God can't speed it up. And, by God, I, of course, mean you.

GREG HOUSE: Told you we needed you.


CUT TO:

[ICU. Day. Taub and Foreman stand at Roz's bedside, while two nurses stand on the other stand, preparing to lift her off.]

CHRIS TAUB: It's sundown, Roz.

ERIC FOREMAN: We're taking you back to your room for your candlelight dinner. [to the others] Ready? One, two, three.

[They all lift her off the bed and place her onto a gurney.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Hallway. Day. Foreman, Taub and a male nurse wheel Roz towards her room.]

ROZ VINER: It's too early.

CHRIS TAUB: Your sense of time is off because of the medication.

[They pass by an office, where grey sheets of paper have been plastered over the window. One of the sheets (losing adhesive) bends outward, letting in a beam of bright light inside. It's nowhere close to sundown.]


CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. As traditional Jewish music plays in the background, Roz is wheeled inside, where Yonatan awaits her, a Torah in his hand. A makeshift Shabbat table, near the bed, is set, holding two covered challahs (braided bread), a kiddush cup and two candles. Roz's gurney is brought close to the bed.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: [greeting] Good Shabbos, Roz.

[Roz looks at him weakly.]

CHRIS TAUB: [whispers to Yonatan] So you pray, scarf down some challah, then we can do this?

[Yonatan gives him a miffed look. Foreman watches silently. Roz closes her eyes.]


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. House sits at the glass table, still staring at the whiteboard. The door opens and Amber (in street clothes) walks inside. She stands in front of the whiteboard and puts her arms on her hips.]

AMBER VOLAKIS: You wanted to see me?

GREG HOUSE: And you came.

AMBER VOLAKIS: I feel pretty confident it'll be something interesting.

GREG HOUSE: [looking at the 'board] Solve this case and the job is yours.

AMBER VOLAKIS: Is there a "Drop Wilson" clause attached to this?

GREG HOUSE: Standard contract all employees sign.

[She nods slowly and pulls out a chair and sits. She looks House in his eyes.]

AMBER VOLAKIS: Why do you have to believe I have an ulterior motive?

GREG HOUSE: For the same reason I believe that crack whores can have sex... for crack.

AMBER VOLAKIS: [leaning forward, sincerely] All my life I thought I had to choose between love and... respect. And I chose respect. And with Wilson... I know what it's like to have both. [beat] And that beats a fellowship.

[She stands. As she places the chair back under the table, she looks at the whiteboard. Taking a long look, she walks towards the door. House watches her go and looks back at the 'board. At the door, Amber turns around.]

AMBER VOLAKIS: Could be DIC.

[She looks at House, expectantly. House considers it awhile.]

GREG HOUSE: You've changed.

AMBER VOLAKIS: I hope so.

GREG HOUSE: Normal platelet count rules out DIC. Good try though.

[She smiles sportingly at him and walks off. He looks back the board.]


CUT TO:

[Aerial View of PPTH. Day.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: [singing] Eishes chayil mi yimtza...

CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. As he recites the Eshet Chayil, Yonatan lights a candle. THIRTEEN stands beside Roz, her head bowed and hands clasped in respect.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: ... ve-rachok mi-peninim michrah.
Batach bah leiv ba'alah ve-shalal lo yech’sar.
Gemalas'hu tov ve-lo ra kol yemei chayeha.


[Roz listens, stifling sobs and trying to smile.]


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. The recital is heard in the background, as House looks outside the window, morosely.

YONATAN ARNOFF: [vo] Dar’eshah tzemer u’fishtim...

[The recital fades out as Kutner enters, carrying a medical textbook.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: I read that a hydatid cyst could...

GREG HOUSE: Would affect the lungs, not the bladder.

[Foreman and Taub enter.]

ERIC FOREMAN: Tested her white cell count again. Normal.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: How long till we get to cut her open?

CHRIS TAUB: When I left, he was still singing Eshet-something.

GREG HOUSE: The husband's blessing of his wife. He calls her Eshet Chayil.

FLASHBACK: [Roz's Wedding. Roz sits in her wedding dress.]
GREG HOUSE: [vo] "Woman of valor". "Strength and honor are her clothing. She laughs at the future"...
RESUME.

GREG HOUSE: ... because she's an idiot.

CHRIS TAUB: [quick guess] Volvulus of the small intestine could cause bleeding.

GREG HOUSE: She woulda had constipation. Her value isn't "beyond pearls" either. 'Cause dead people have no value.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [shot in the dark] Polycythemia vera.

GREG HOUSE: [shooting his shot down] RBC count would be higher.


CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. The candles are placed in front of Roz. She speaks to THIRTEEN.]

ROZ VINER: I need to bring the light to my face.

[Since she's too weak to lift her own arms, THIRTEEN and Yonatan pick up her arms and slowly pass them in front of her face and back as part of the ritual.

LAWRENCE KUTNER: [vo] Thrombocytopenia. If it's autoimmune...

ERIC FOREMAN: [vo] Titers were normal.


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. The men sit despondently, wondering what the ailment could be.]

LAWRENCE KUTNER: Parkinson's would explain the hypothermia.

GREG HOUSE: Not the bloody urine. Woman's not just a masochist, she's a hypocrite.


CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. Roz holds her hands over her eyes and prays silently.]

GREG HOUSE: [vo] The commandment to preserve life comes before all others.


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. The debate continues...]

CHRIS TAUB: Actually, it means she's not a masochist. She's not following all the rules, just the ones that please her.

GREG HOUSE: [frustrated] Right, she walked in crazy and explained how ritual trumps living, and you decide it's a beautiful lifestyle.

CHRIS TAUB: [calm] I know. She's wrong.

FLASHBACK: [Roz's Wedding. As part of the ritual, Yonatan takes a sip of water, as does Roz.]
CHRIS TAUB: But if there's nothing more...


CUT TO:

[Roz's Room. Day. Yonatan puts the kiddush cup to Roz's mouth. Roz feebly takes a sip.]

GREG HOUSE: [vo] Then the only meaning is here.

CHRIS TAUB: [vo] But if she thinks God is there for her.

[Yonatan and THIRTEEN nod at each other.]


CUT TO:

[Diagnostics Office. Day. Taub speaks.]

CHRIS TAUB: If she lives her life believing that God is there...

GREG HOUSE: [grimly] Then she dies.

[A silent beat passes.]

GREG HOUSE: Things aren't where we want them to be just 'cause we want them to be there.

[And then it hits him!]

GREG HOUSE: 'Course, that doesn't mean they're where they should be.


CUT TO:

[PPTH Hallway. Day. House bursts through a door and sees Roz being wheeled back to the ICU, by THIRTEEN, Yonatan and a male nurse. He shouts.]

GREG HOUSE: Hey! Stop that Jew!

[He limps up to them. Roz turns to look at him.]

GREG HOUSE: Chase hates working on Shabbos. Gonna make this easier for him. Stand her up.

THIRTEEN: She doesn't do so well on her feet.

[House hands his cane to the male nurse.]

GREG HOUSE: Neither do I. Stand her up.

[Yonatan looks confused. THIRTEEN reluctantly prepares to stand Roz up. They remove the gurney railing and take the blanket off Roz. House limps over to the side, where Roz is helped up. THIRTEEN and Yonatan hold Roz tightly as she sits up weakly. Almost immediately, the monitors start to beep and Roz goes limp. House motions for THIRTEEN to let go, so he can hold her up.]

GREG HOUSE: You can tell all the ladies at the Mikvah about this.

[House clutches right side of Roz's abdomen (which is swollen) and pushes upward. Immediately, the monitors stop beeping and Roz regains consciousness. Surprised, she looks at House.]

ROZ VINER: What did you do?

[House lets go of her abdomen. With a groan, she goes limp again and the monitors beep.]

YONATAN ARNOFF: What are you doing?

[House applies pressure to her right side again and she's okay once again. He beckons THIRTEEN.]

GREG HOUSE: Put your hand here. Press hard.

[THIRTEEN, a bit confused, complies. She holds Roz's right side and looks shocked at what she feels. They help Roz back onto the gurney.]

GREG HOUSE: You have nephroptosis. Also known as "floating kidney". [collecting his cane from the nurse] The kidney's like a chandelier.

[Zoom into Roz's right side. The right kidney is hanging loose and moving back and forth.]

GREG HOUSE: [vo] It's attached to a ceiling of intestines and blood vessels. But your contractor - think you know who he is - he hung it with a cheap chain. It's been hanging sloppy for years.

[The kidney stops moving.]

FLASHBACK: [Roz's wedding. She's hoisted up on a chair and rocked up and down.]
GREG HOUSE: [vo] Finally something shook it loose.
RESUME.

GREG HOUSE: After that, every time you stood, your kidney dropped a few centimeters, caused all your symptoms.

THIRTEEN: None of the scans picked it up.

GREG HOUSE: Because we do scans with patients lying down. She'd've been lying down in surgery too. We would never have found it. Good chance she'd never come out.

YONATAN ARNOFF: [hopeful] She'll be all right?

GREG HOUSE: Ultrasound to confirm, then tell Chase to put the kidney back on the shelf. The bleed will be nearby.

ROZ VINER: That's... it?

GREG HOUSE: Mazel tov.

[An ecstatic Yonatan kisses Roz on the forehead.]

GREG HOUSE: Couple hours surgery, you'll be ready to push out those fourteen children.

[Roz wheezes out a relieved laugh. She looks at Yonatan, who is equally relieved. House turns to THIRTEEN.]

GREG HOUSE: You do it both ways, right?

[THIRTEEN looks wide-eyed at House.]

THIRTEEN: What?

GREG HOUSE: [quickly] The ultrasound. You do it standing up and lying down.

[THIRTEEN has an absolutely befuddled look on her face.]

GREG HOUSE: [innocently] What else would I mean?

[Still bemused, she starts to move off, but not before House can give her a knowing wink. She accompanies the others as they wheel Roz to the OR. House smiles slyly.]


CUT TO:

[Wilson's Office. Night. At his desk, Wilson buttons his sleeve, when the door opens. House stands at the door-jamb.]

GREG HOUSE: [sucks in air] I've decided you could do worse than a female proxy for me.

[His message given, he closes the door and walks off. Wilson stands transfixed.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Lobby. Day. The elevator door opens and House, on his way out, limps towards the door. Behind him, Wilson comes bounding down the stairs.]

JAMES WILSON: So you're going to acknowledge that people can change?

GREG HOUSE: No.

JAMES WILSON: You think I've changed or Amber's changed?

GREG HOUSE: Nope.

[House stops at the Nurse Station to look at something.]

JAMES WILSON: [pointing at House] Then you've changed.

GREG HOUSE: If you do change, can it be the part of you that chases me down halls, trying to change me?

[House resumes walking, Wilson accompanying him.]

JAMES WILSON: [flabbergasted] Do you know what this means?

GREG HOUSE: That you made one good dating choice. The fabric of the space/time continuum could unravel.

[House and Wilson walk out the hospital doors into the cold night. They stand outside.]

JAMES WILSON: My world could expand. I could form a long-term connection that isn't with you. And since you put the darkest possible construction on everything, you could end up losing a friend. You've thought of all this.

[House doesn't answer.]

JAMES WILSON: And yet you're going along with it. [shivers a bit] Are you being... self-sacrificing?

GREG HOUSE: I'll sacrifice... a lab rat. I'll sacrifice a fly. I'll sacrifice two hundred on a mudder at Monmouth Park. I don't sacrifice self.

[Wilson nods.]

GREG HOUSE: Shabbat Shalom, Wilson.

[He walks off.]

JAMES WILSON: Shabbat Shalom, House.

[With a wide smile, Wilson turns to walk back inside.]

FADE TO BLACK.

Comments 
14th-Feb-2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
Very cool, thank you so much!
15th-Feb-2008 12:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!!!
16th-Feb-2008 06:16 pm (UTC)
oner of my favorite episodes so far, i just love that line "Well, you should love her more. The more you know someone, the more you should love them."
19th-Feb-2008 05:22 pm (UTC) - Sounded a bit fake to me
Anonymous
This line is coming from a guy who's been married only a couple of hours - to a guy who's been with his wife for 12 years... :)
9th-Nov-2009 09:56 am (UTC) - Re: Sounded a bit fake to me
No, every chasan (bridegroom) would have gone through pre-marriage lessons and this is indeed one of things that he would have been taught. Amongst all the terrible gaffes made (See my main post) in the episode, this is something that was resembling reality.
17th-Feb-2008 05:25 pm (UTC) - Technical issues
Anonymous
Overall I was impressed with the accuracy of the portrayal of orthodox Jewish life (the fake beards are terrible, but you can't win them all). I did like how Roz uses "day school" Hebrew and Yonatan uses an ashkenazik pronunciation. Even if she were a ba'alat teshuva, however, she would never call her husband "Yonatan", it would be "Yonasan".

Also, did she want to wait until shabbes (shabbat/sabbath) was over or until shabbes started? I was confused on that point. She says she wants to wait another eight hours ("I've waited thirty-eight years to find what I wanted. I can wait another eight hours."), which would indicated it was Saturday already, but one would only light shabbes candles and sing "Aishes Chayl" on Friday night (lighting candles once shabbes has started is forbidden). The waiting for surgery did not make chronological sense. It was nice, thought, that they explained that there is absolutely no problem in Jewish law with having life saving surgery on shabbes.
18th-Feb-2008 03:42 am (UTC) - Beard
Anonymous
cracked me up, the fake beard was terrible.
19th-Feb-2008 11:56 pm (UTC) - Re: Technical issues
Anonymous
No,it wasn't Saturday already. It was Friday and she wanted to wait for the Shabbat (which begins on Friday eve)to start, so that she and her husband would have that moment together and she could do the blessing as a married woman for the first time.

But the rest didn't make much sense - saving life comes before all other commandments and if she was really that religiously zealous she would know that and wouldn't defy the Rabbi. Also, the husband would never lie to her like that because for him too it would be a much bigger sin. They just needed it for the drama and to show the ritual, yet this and the way the Hassidic ways were shown had little to do with reality.
9th-Nov-2009 10:04 am (UTC) - Re: Technical issues
He was actually reciting Eishes Chayil in a mixture of Ivrit and Ivris (Ashkenazi). Perhaps the actor was attempting an Ashkenzai prounciation by using a "S" sound instead of a "t" sound for a Taf (Sof), but he pronounced all his kometz katans as "a" and not "o" which is Ivrit/Sefardi/Israeli.

Also see my main post for more gaffes.
29th-Apr-2008 01:11 pm (UTC) - Thank you!
Anonymous
Thank you so much for posting this! For some reason my PVR didn't record the last 5 minutes of the show and so I was left with a cliff-hanger ending. Thanks for filling in the blanks for me :)
2nd-May-2008 02:35 am (UTC) - OMG
thanks for this

I saw the chapter 20 miutes ago
and I still can't understand what the hell is happening
Wilson don't give a damn about House?
he doesn't care the fact that House know that if he stay with Amber
he will be pull apart?

I really don't get anything
someone can help me to understand?
please... :S


thanks again
and sorry the bad english ^^U
8th-May-2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks for posting this!! The writer's strike kinda threw me off, so I missed a couple of episodes. I'm glad I found this community!! :D
10th-Jun-2008 12:16 am (UTC)
What a lovely episode. And transcript. Some of the things don't make sense--it's unrealistic of her to defy the rabbi, and practically a blatant fairy tale for her HUSBAND to defy the rabbi by lying to her, but it was still nice. And Cuddy was awesome, oh YES.
10th-Jun-2008 08:02 am (UTC) - Fasting
Anonymous
Actually, all Orthodox Jews, and not only Hassidic Jews, fast on their wedding day.
24th-Jun-2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
Cool!
8th-Sep-2009 01:49 am (UTC)
David Shore was raised Reform (Canadian Reform is closer to Conservative in the U.S.) but his twin brothers became Orthodox and are rabbis in Israel. (Chase: Yeah... I should have had twin Rabbis call.) I'm sure he didn't have any problem getting expert advice on Orthodox rules and rituals.

But TV programs always have to play a little loose with the facts such as postponing life-saving surgery so someone can light the shabbas candles) for dramatic purposes.
9th-Nov-2009 09:45 am (UTC) - What nonsense!
As an Orthodox Jew who has just seen this episode I wanted to make some points.

I simply don't understand why with their multi-million dollar budget they haven't got any resources to go ask an Orthodox Jew, let alone an Orthodox Rabbi, to check the Jewish content. There were so many gaffes (stupid mistakes) in the story to make it laughable.

The biggest gaffe they made was Roz waiting to light candles after it was dark. Utter rubbish! According to Jewish law (and this applies for all Orthodox Jews- Chasidic and non-) one can only light candles up until sunset. After sunset (and for sure when it has already turned dark outside) it is totally forbidden to light candles! No ifs or buts!

Moreover, had they asked an Orthodox Jew he/she would have told the scriptwriter that it's possible to bring in Shabbat at sunset before it gets dark as is the practice within many Orthodox communities during the late summer days.

Another gaffe. The order of bringing in Shabbat is as follows:

Light Candles before shkia (sunset).
Pray Evening prayer (Maariv).
Sing Shalom Aleichem
Sing Eishes chayil
Say Kiddush over wine.
Wash hands.
Eat Challah (The Shabbos Seuda – meal).

The episode showed the husband singing Eishes Chayil before lighting candles which again is total nonsense!

We only ever saw her husband. In reality she would have had members of the community with her. Certainly we would have seen her mentor (being a baalas tshuva) and almost definitely seen women saying Tehillim for her in her room.

Forman says that a Rabbi had been consulted regarding the question of Shabbat. This is also a big gaffe. He would have had to have spoken to her personal Rabbi belonging to her specific Chasideshe sect. Any old Rabbi would not have done!

Minor niggles:

The Hebrew prayers were recited with the Sefardi or Israeli modern Hebrew prouniation. Being Americam Chasidishe Jews they would almost definetaly have prounced the Hebrew in Ivris (Ashkenazi) pronunciation. Nota terrible mistake but it shows that no one checked for authenticity!

Roz is supposed to be a baalas Tshuva for only six months yet she was saying Tehillim in the MRI off by heart. Her general behaviour was that of a Baalas Tshuva of at least a year to two years. (could be forgiven in order to fit the story line I suppose).

The question of Pikuach Nefesh (saving a life) against wanting to spend her first married Shabbos awake with her chasan (her bridegroom) was indeed a nice point. However it is certain that the husband would have consulted his/their own personal Rabbi on this point and the Rabbi would have consulted with her doctors and then made a legal ruling on the matter. Failure to abide by this ruling would have been a grave sin. Indecently, it is not clear what the Rabbi would have decided which makes it an interesting point in the story.

Overall I did appreciate the fact that this religious couple was treated with a lot more respect than Christians in previous episodes who were made out to be somehow mentally deranged.
9th-Nov-2009 10:09 am (UTC) - Re: What nonsense! amendment.
To be more accurate, the pronunciation was actually a mixture of Ivrit and Ivris. He was trying to say "S" instead of "T" for the letter Taf (Sof) but when sounding the kametz vowel he was saying "A" the whole time whereas in Ashkenazi Ivris he should be pronouncing a kometz like an "O".
9th-Nov-2009 12:16 pm (UTC) - Re: What nonsense!
I've just learnt that the writer David Shore's two brothers are Orthodox Rabbis. This frustrates me even more. He couldn't have phoned up one of his brothers and asked them to check the script?

6th-Apr-2010 02:12 am (UTC) - breaking a commandment to save life
Anonymous
There are 3 commandments ( prohibitions ) that cannot be broken..even to save life. They are idolatry, sexual immorality, and murder.
4th-Jan-2011 10:12 pm (UTC)
Taub said he wasn't going to become more Reform, not reformed. I agree with all the points made below about bad portrayal of Judaism, though.

Thank you for the transcripts!
14th-Sep-2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
Fixed, thanks.

In Distractions, House mislabels Hamurabi's Law as The Golden Rule. That has always bothered me more than the liberties they have to take to fit a story like this into 43 minutes. Besides, the liberties they take with medicine are much more egregious than any other fact-bending the series has done. :D
22nd-Sep-2011 01:19 am (UTC)
Roz gently places the ring on Roz's right index finger.
Roz --> Yonatan
26th-Sep-2011 06:33 pm (UTC)
Fixed. Thanks.
21st-Dec-2011 04:22 pm (UTC)
He reading --> is
holding to covered challahs --> two

Edited at 2011-12-21 04:52 pm (UTC)
22nd-Dec-2011 07:03 am (UTC)
done.
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