Written by: Garret Lerner, Russel Friend & David Shore
Directed by: Deren Sarafian
Transcribed by: Mari (musikologie)
DISCLAIMER: We don't own "HOUSE." It's owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions. This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use.
[Previously on House: (Transcriber note – obviously, this is not all one scene!)
Babyshoes: You high, Popo? [shoots Joe, who goes down laughing]
House: Cop with a sense of humor. You [pointing at Foreman] check the cop car. Also check his personal car, work, home…. [Shot of Joe screaming, Foreman laughing.]
Cameron: Foreman, get out!
Foreman: Am I the only one who finds this funny?
Cameron: You stole my article!
Foreman: I wouldn’t do that. / We’re not friends. We’re colleagues. [Cut to Foreman poking Cameron with the contaminated needle.]
Cameron: Ow! Son of a bitch!
Foreman: Now we’re both exposed.
Joe: I’m going to die, aren’t I?
Foreman: You die, I die. It’s not gonna happen.
House: Time of death, 12:26 PM.]
[Cut to House entering Cuddy’s office.]
House: I need a bone saw.
Cuddy: I’m sorry.
House: You said you would --
Cuddy: I wish I could
House: I just want a little tiny slice of this guy’s brain, that’s all I need, just enough to tell me what’s killing Foreman.
Cuddy: A thin slice of Joe’s brain could also cause a public health crisis.
House: It’s not a good idea to scream “fire” every time someone lights a match.
Cuddy: Don’t downplay this, House. You put both of them in isolation for a reason. Joe’s death elevates the situation to a biosafety level 3.
House: [shivering] Oooh. Level 3. We should call Jack Bauer.
Cuddy: I called the CDC.
House: Well, tell them we’ll be really, really careful.
Cuddy: We don’t have the proper equipment for you to be really, really careful! You can do whatever you want to Foreman but the CDC will do this autopsy.
House: Whatever. The point is, we’ll be lucky to get results in three days.
Cuddy: I told them how urgent this is –
House: -- and they told you…
Cuddy: We’ll have the results in… three days.
House: Ah, that’s a shame, because Foreman will never get a chance to know what it was, because he’ll be dead in 36 hours. Maybe this is a toxin; maybe it’s not contagious at all. You’re killing Foreman because of a “maybe.”
Cuddy: Well, you have 36 hours to figure out which one it is.
[Cut to Foreman staring at Joe’s corpse.]
House: Foreman, c’mere, fast. [He sends a hammer and pick through the window.]
Foreman: What’s going on? When are they doing the autopsy?
House: You’re doing it. Now. Ever study how they used to do ice-pick lobotomies?
Foreman: Read about it in med school. Why would I –
House: Shove an ice-pick into the eye socket just above the tear duct. Bang it a couple of times with the hammer, get a sample.
Foreman: What’s going on, House?
Cuddy: [walking up to House] Foreman, you can’t do it! You’d be in violation of –
House: Can’t do the time if you’re not alive.
Cuddy: [to a nurse] You – I need you to suit up. Get that equipment away from Dr. Foreman. [Foreman grabs the tools.]
House: Take your time, guys! Just tell them to go slow; it won’t be your fault.
Cuddy: Foreman, we don’t even know what kind of contagion we’re dealing with.
House: Which is why we need to chop into the guy’s head.
Cuddy: It’s dangerous!
House: Not to you, Foreman.
Cuddy: There are other ways to diagnose you.
House: Yeah? You have the answer? [He sees the guys almost suited up.] Foreman, do it now!
Cuddy: I am warning you, do not – [Foreman starts to chip away – at the bed.]
House: What are you doing?
Foreman: That didn’t feel right.
Cuddy: He’s blind.
House: He thinks he can see, same as the cop.
Foreman: We need something to bag the sample.
House: Forget it. You just biopsied a mattress.
Foreman: No, no, I’m fine! House, there’s the sample, test it! You’ve gotta test that sample!
House: Apparently I was optimistic about the 36 hours. Intractable, unbearable pain is up next. Sure you don’t want to reconsider that whole autopsy thing?
[Cut to Diagnostics.]
Chase: Physically, his eyes are fine. The problem’s isolated to his brain. Damage to the occipital lobe which extends from the primary visual cortex to the –
Cameron: We should retest him for bacterial meningitis.
House: If it was meningitis, we’d all be sick.
Cameron: His CSF might show signs of –
House: LP’s pointless. We already did a brain biopsy, it was negative. [Quick shot of said biopsy.]
Chase: Toxic mold.
Cameron: If it was toxic mold, I’d be sick.
House: How do we know you’re not sick?
Cameron: Do I seem happy to you?
House: Never. [Chase guffaws.]
Chase: It was funny.
House: Well, let’s assume it’s not blood-borne. If you start cracking jokes we can reassess. In the meantime, stay away from people and animals that you care about. [Quick shot of Foreman’s empty chair.]
Chase: Neither of them had any sort of paralysis.
Cameron: Joe could have died before the paralysis had a chance to present.
Chase: What about arbovirus?
House: Start treatment.
Cameron: For arbovirus? You think our Jersey-beat cop has spent a lot of time exploring deep, dark Africa?
House: Treatment for everything – likely or unlikely. If you can think of it, treat for it.
Chase: Mixing that many meds will create all sorts of toxic interactions.
Cameron: We’ll box his liver, trash his kidneys… there’s got to be a better way.
House: Of course there’s a better way! It’s that body sitting in the room with him that Cuddy won’t let us touch! Bacterials, virals, toxins, fungals, parasites – it’s got to be one of them.
Cameron: Where are you going?
House: To see if I can find another brain to biopsy.
[Cut to Chase and Cameron talking to Foreman.]
Chase: They’re gonna lock Joe up downstairs until the CDC gets here. [since Foreman is staring in Joe’s direction] Foreman, you can’t see.
Chase: House wants to start you on some meds. They’re in the airlock.
Foreman: For what?
Chase: Leading candidate is toxic mold.
Foreman: Is Cameron sick?
Cameron: I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
Foreman: [feeling the pills] You’re casting the net a little wider than toxic mold, aren’t you?
Cameron: Guillain-Barre’s also on the table.
Foreman: There’s an oval shape, that’s either an L or a 7, I’m guessing an L – levofloxacin, can’t rule out bacteria. 800 -- that’s the dosage for acyclovir in case it’s viral. Square, no, more like a rhombus – that’s fluconazole for fungus… there’s about eight others here; you’re treating me for everything! You’ve got no idea what I’ve got!
Chase: House thinks this is the best course of action.
Foreman: House is desperate. House is never desperate!
Cameron: Something we give you will work.
Foreman: Yeah, we should start treating all patients this way. When they get sick they just take everything.
Chase: It’s better than doing nothing. [Foreman swallows all the pills.]
[Cut to Foreman lying in bed. His phone rings, and he has to get out of bed and blindly grasp for it.]
House: [in a hazmat suit on a hands-free phone] I’m at the cop’s place. You have to retrace your steps.
Foreman: You don’t think the “treat him for everything” approach is enough?
House: [taking out Steve] Where did you start your search?
Foreman: The kitchen.
House: You’re going to tell me everything you did, everything you touched. If you went to the john I want to know when and why.
Foreman: I started with samples from the mold in his sink. [House lets Steve walk around in the sink, sniff the counter, the fridge, the toilet, etc. We next see House and Steve up in the cop’s garden.]
House: What next?
Foreman: That’s it. Then I left. What do we do now?
House: Wait for Steve McQueen to get giddy.
Foreman: Excellent plan. [Foreman hangs up, and is obviously in pain. He dials another number.] Hey, Dad. It’s Eric. I’m not doing too good.
[Cut to Wilson entering House’s office.]
Wilson: How’s Foreman? [looks at House’s laptop] You’re accessing a webcam?
House: Cuddy’s shower. Are you a fan of the Brazilian? I, hmm…
Wilson: Is that your kitchen?
House: Well, obviously I couldn’t bring him here. He’s been exposed to whatever Foreman’s got.
Wilson: You infected Steve?! Why didn’t you just get a rat from the pet store?
House: Because I needed one with a clean medical history. Who knows what kind of antibiotics they gave those rats.
Wilson: So this is your plan, just sit here and watch your rat all day?
House: Eh, it shouldn’t take long. Got the AC blasting, I soaked the floor of his cage…. [Wilson looks fairly disgusted.] As soon as he gets sick, I do an autopsy.
Wilson: As soon as he’s dead.
House: Right after he gets sick, there’s a good chance he’ll get hit in the head with a cane-shaped object.
Wilson: Normally you just use your patients as lab rats. It’s a nice change. [pulls up a chair]
House: First symptom is euphoria.
Wilson: How do you know if a rat’s euphoric?
House: He doesn’t usually climb on his water bottle like that, does he?
[Cut to House watching Steve while he’s on clinic duty.]
Mother: The seizures only seem to happen when she’s in her car seat. She starts to rock and grunt.
House: She responsive?
Mother: No, no, it’s like she’s in a zone. And her abdominal muscles become dystonic.
House: Big word. Someone’s been on the interweb.
Mother: I looked up a few articles on epilepsy. You know, there’s actually some really great youth soccer leagues that would cater specifically to her special needs, and I think it might explain why she’s been having a hard time in pre-school.
House: Well, let’s confirm your diagnosis before you have her held back. Strobing lights and high pitched sounds can provoke a seizure. [quickly moving a penlight in front of her eyes] Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Girl: You’re a goof!
House: Takes one to know one, loser! Wait, that means I’m a loser. Scratch that. These episodes, she gets sweaty afterwards?
Mother: Soaking wet.
House: She seem upset by them or just tired?
Mother: No, she kind of thinks it’s funny.
House: You mix rocking, grunting, sweating, and dystonia with concerned parents and you get an amateur diagnosis of epilepsy. In actuality, all your little girl is doing is saying “yoo hoo” to the hoo-hoo.
Mother: She’s what?
House: Marching the penguin. Ya-ya-ing the sisterhood. Finding Nemo. [The little girl thinks all of these euphemisms are hilarious.]
Girl: That was funny.
House: It’s called gratification disorder. Sort of a misnomer – if one was unable to gratify oneself…that would be a disorder.
Mother: [covering the girl’s ears] Are you saying she’s masturbating?
House: I was trying to be discreet – there’s a child in the room!
Mother: This is horrifying.
House: Epilepsy is horrifying. Teach your girl about privacy and she’ll be fine. [hands the girl a lollipop] Here you go.
Girl: Thank you. [House gives her a high-five.]
[Cut to House leaving the clinic.]
Cuddy: One afternoon and you’re on pace to set the record for most patients seen in a month.
House: You’re upset that I’m doing clinic hours? Wow, that is so like rain on your wedding day.
Cuddy: For the past three hours, I’ve been on the phone with the CDC while you are wai –
House: Yeah, how’s that going, by the way?
Cuddy: They promised to expedite –
House: Tough to do an autopsy when they haven’t even picked up the body.
Cuddy: It’s tough to treat your patient when you’re not even on the same floor. Go, clinic is covered.
House: I go watch the meds drip into his IV, you think that’ll make the treatment work faster?
Cuddy: Go to your office, play with your ball, write on your whiteboard, insult your team, do whatever it is you do to figure things out.
House: Feeling guilty? It’s not too late to change your mind. Go call the CDC, tell them you were just joshin’.
Cuddy: Keep avoiding Foreman’s case until he dies. Then I’ll drown in guilt.
[Cut to Cameron wearing a biohazard suit, giving Foreman his meds.]
Cameron: Feeling any better?
Foreman: How are you doing?
Cameron: I’m not the patient.
Foreman: Is your sed rate elevated?
Cameron: No. So far it looks like I lucked out.
Foreman: Cameron. Looks like you left a tourniquet on the bed.
Cameron: You can see again?
Foreman: Treatment’s working.
[Cut to House’s office.]
House: The question is, which treatment?
Cameron: We’ll start weaning him off, one at a time. Which one do we start with?
House: I don’t care if you do it alphabetically. Just stay on top of his vision – first sign of regression means we’ve taken him off the wrong one. [Chase enters.]
Chase: Latest bloodwork. Foreman’s amylase and lipase levels are three times normal.
Cameron: Pancreas is failing.
Chase: Toxic side effect of his meds.
[Cut to Foreman vomiting. Great.]
House: Philosophical question: how do you want to die?
Foreman: Old age.
House: Your choice is currently between four hours from now and fourteen hours from now, so I’m assuming that means you want the latter.
Foreman: The cocktail’s working. My vision’s almost completely restored.
House: The meds are curing what’s in your head but they’re trashing your pancreas. That’s why you’re puking and you can’t stand up without screaming.
Foreman: So lower the dosages. Less stress on my pancreas, still battle the infection.
Chase: Lower dosages would still be toxic –
Foreman: I don’t care! I can handle the pain of the pancreatitis.
House: Think you can handle a life without a pancreas? We keep you on these meds, you’ll spend the last four hours of your life being able to see. Take you off, you’ll go blind again, but it’ll give us time to figure out what’s eating your brain.
Foreman: Fine. What do we do next?
Offstage male: Eric?
Foreman: Dad? [And so it is – Foreman’s father will from hereon be named “Rodney” in the transcript.]
House: Yeah, you two can get caught up later. Sir, I need you to come with me.
[Cut to Cuddy’s office.]
Cuddy: House! Uh, what is this?
House: He’s not a what, he’s a who. They even have the right to vote now. Rodney Foreman, Cuddy. Cuddy, Rodney Foreman. [Cuddy and Rodney shake hands.]
Rodney: Nice to meet you, ma’am.
House: This is Foreman’s dad.
Cuddy: Yeah, I got that.
House: Dr. Cuddy here is the Dean of Medicine. Remember that cool autopsy I was telling you about, the one that would save your son’s life – she’s the one who can give us the green light to do it.
Rodney: I understand you don’t want them to do it? Dr. House didn’t seem to know why.
Cuddy: Mr. Foreman, I am doing everything I can to get the CDC –
House: Won’t be soon enough.
Cuddy: -- and my decision to follow public health safety protocols –
House: Oh, don’t blame the rules. Don’t hang this on policy and protocol.
Cuddy: I’m well aware that it may cost your son his life, just as I am well aware that my decision has a devastating effect on family and friends without having them paraded in front of me. Your son has an unknown, contagious, deadly infection. If we don’t contain it here, even more people could be at risk, and I am capable of empathizing with those people, too, without having them paraded in front of me.
Rodney: I understand.
[Cut to Foreman.]
Rodney: What’s wrong with your hand?
Foreman: It’s called a muscle contracture.
Rodney: I thought this thing was in your brain.
Foreman: It is. It just means that the infection has moved to the primary motor cortex, which controls the muscles. Aren’t you glad you sent me to med school?
Rodney: Does it hurt?
Rodney: Is it gonna?
Foreman: It – the other guy, he didn’t seem to suffer too much, he, he just went into sleep.
[Cut to the morgue.]
Wilson: Steve’s still acting normal, no sign of contractures.
House: They’ve got the cop’s body in a locked, airtight bag.
Wilson: And a guard on the door. Those feds are seriously paranoid.
House: He hasn’t gotten up to pee in hours, he’s due.
Wilson: You haven’t sprinkled Senokot granules on his donut, his bowels would open up like the Red Sea.
House: He wouldn’t eat the donut.
Wilson: Have you seriously been down here for hours?
House: No. I had to pee a couple times.
Wilson: You’ve got to stop blaming Cuddy for this.
House: Given that it is her fault, it seems appropriate.
Wilson: That part is her fault. The part where somebody wasted his time in a basement plotting the overthrow of a government agency, that one’s on you.
House: The only thing I can do is think. You can pretty much do that anywhere. As long as no one’s bugging me.
[Cut to Foreman and his dad.]
Rodney: Did you call your brother?
Foreman: No. Did you?
Foreman: It’s not a big deal. I sure would like to see Mom, though.
Rodney: You know she can’t travel anymore.
Foreman: [near tears] You tell her?
Rodney: Why? Just upset her for a while, then she wouldn’t remember for a while.
Foreman: But she should know.
Rodney: She’s lost a lot of who she was. She can’t deal with something like this.
Foreman: And you can?
Rodney: I still know you’re going to a better place.
Foreman: It’s easy for you, isn’t it? As long as you believe I’m going to a better place, dying ain’t so bad.
Rodney: I don’t want you to be afraid.
Foreman: If I’m not afraid to die, then what the hell should I be afraid of, Dad?
Rodney: I thought you believed.
Foreman: I did. Not so sure anymore.
Rodney: I’m going to pray for you, son. I suggest you do the same.
[Cue the mid-episode montage. Rodney is praying in the hospital’s chapel. Foreman is stuck standing over his sink. Cuddy is crying at her desk. House is watching the feds wheel out Joe’s body. His cell rings.]
[Cut to Foreman shivering on his bed.]
Chase: Field of vision is regressing, and he’s reached an eight on the pain scale.
[Cut to Diagnostics.]
Cameron: The disease pattern is following the exact course as Joe’s.
Chase: Only it’s moving much faster in Foreman.
House: Good! It’s an anomaly, anomalies tell us things. Why would this go faster in Foreman, what’s different?
Cameron: Could be a different strain of the same disease?
House: Right! We were wasting all this time looking for an unknown disease, we should be looking for a different strain of an unknown disease!
Chase: Joe’s a cop. He’s into physical fitness, he could have had a more powerful immune system, stronger metabolism….
Cameron: Foreman’s black.
House: What? How long have you been sitting on this information?
Cameron: Lupus, gout, glaucoma, osteoarthritis, hypertension, diabetes, stop me any time – they all affect black people more than whites.
House: Check everything. Bacterials, fungals, toxins, parasites – look for anything with a documented racial disparity. [House looks at Steve’s webcam.] Wait.
Cameron: The rat’s showing symptoms?
House: No. He’s completely healthy. Maybe that’s the difference between Foreman and the cop.
[Cut to Cuddy visiting Foreman.]
Cuddy: How’re you feeling?
Foreman: Why’re you here?
Cuddy: Because you’re a friend. And I should be here.
Foreman: I’m sorry House used my dad to try to manipulate you. You’ve got integrity; you’re not going to change your mind just because you’re confronted by my father.
Cuddy: Thank you.
Foreman: Just like I’m not going to forgive you just because you’re gonna come by here and ask me how I’m feeling.
Cuddy: You know I’ve had no choice.
Foreman: Of course you’ve had a choice!
Cuddy: Regulations are clear.
Foreman: And the punishment for violating those regulations?! Is it death? Hmm? Because frankly, I’m okay if you get a fine, a suspension, hell, you can spend a couple of years in jail if it saves my life! [House comes by.]
House: You’re dying too fast.
Foreman: Couldn’t agree more.
House: Hey, Cuddy. Having a nice visit?
Cuddy: What’s that?
House: [tries to speak with a vial in his mouth] Legion – [takes the vial out] Legionella pneumophila.
Cuddy: And why are you carrying a vial of it around with you?
House: Foreman was perfectly healthy before he got this infection. Our cop wasn’t, he had Legionnaire’s Disease. Our cop didn’t turn into brain food until we cured the legionella. Legionella slowed down the disease.
Foreman: Why would that happen?
House: No idea. Just know that it did.
Cuddy: So you want to infect Foreman?
House: You gonna tattle to the CDC?
Foreman: The meds can’t help me but a disease can? Forget it, just take the pain away and put me under!
House: If I put you under I can’t monitor your pain. If I can’t monitor your pain I can’t tell if the legionella’s working.
Foreman: I’m not consenting to you giving me – [House drops in the vial, which shatters on the floor.] What was that?
House: Hmmm, wish there could have been a puff of smoke or something. Would have been much more dramatic. Keep your slippers on, wouldn’t want you to cut your foot.
[Cut to later – Cameron is keeping an eye on Foreman.]
Cameron: Are you feeling any better?
Foreman: I can’t breathe, I’m dizzy, and I can barely hear anything over the sounds of my lungs crackling.
Cameron: That’s the legionella.
Foreman: Oh. You figure that out from the symptoms or from the vial House tossed into my room?
Cameron: I’m trying to be professional here. There’s no reason to be nasty.
Foreman: I’m in pain.
Cameron: So is House.
Foreman: And he’s a delight!
Cameron: He doesn’t try to kill his colleagues. [The thermometer in Foreman’s mouth beeps.] You can remove the thermometer now. It’s down almost a whole degree! How’s the pain?
Foreman: Great. [coughing] It’s the good kind.
Cameron: How bad is it compared to an hour ago?
Foreman: No worse.
[Cut to House in his office.]
Wilson: The legionella helping?
House: But not great. It didn’t fix anything, it just slowed it down. The whole point was to give Steve a little more time to get sick.
Wilson: What are you going to do if he never gets sick?
[Cut to outside of Foreman’s room.]
House: Cameron, what kind of illnesses affect humans but not rats?
Cameron: Why are you asking me that?
House: Because I’m sure you spent the first twelve years of your life dreaming of being a vet. The rat is not getting sick. Cameron is not getting sick.
House: It’s okay. It’s not your fault. Presumably you’re still healthy because whatever it is is not blood borne. Steve has no excuse; he did everything that Foreman did.
Chase: Some bacterial infections don’t affect rats.
Cameron: Foreman tested negative for every bacterial infection that would affect his brain.
House: And what infections could he be positive for but test negative for? When we test for infections, we look for antibodies. [Cue the CGI graphics!] Now, what if the patient is infected, but has no antibodies – what if the body is not fighting the infection?
Cameron: Why would –
House: Neh, eh, I asked first. Let’s start with the ‘what’, we’ll deal with the ‘why’ later.
Chase: If the body doesn’t recognize the infection our tests come back negative and the disease rampages through the body unstopped.
House: Exactly like the cop and exactly like Foreman. And what if the patient was then exposed to a second infection, like legionella? The body would recognize that infection, increase the white count, send in the troops to start fighting, and the initial infection would get caught in the crossfire. So the question becomes, what type of bacterial infection affects humans and not rats, and the human body would be unlikely to recognize.
[Cut to Foreman, who does not look well at all.
House: The answer is listeria. I’m starting you on amp and gent. [Transcriber’s note: that’s ampicillin and gentamicin, two antibiotics.]
Foreman: So you’re basing this theory on the tests being negative and your rat being healthy?
House: And the fact that Legionnaire’s is helping you.
Foreman: But the medicine you wanna give me will put an end to that.
Foreman: And if it’s not listeria all the gent will do is cure the Legionnaire’s Disease and put whatever is killing me back into overdrive.
House: Stop asking me questions based on the premise that I’m wrong. The antibiotics are in the airlock.
Foreman: I think the first biopsy didn’t give us the answer because you didn’t go deep enough. I want you to do a white matter brain biopsy.
House: Absolutely. Don’t blame you. The world is such a complicated place if you’ve got higher reasoning skills. I’m often jealous of smaller animals and retarded children. Take the antibiotics.
Foreman: There can be minimal damage if it’s done right. If the surgeons drill where I tell them to drill.
House: One slip, you could spend the rest of your life not being able to keep your drool in your mouth.
Foreman: I’d rather be disabled than dead.
House: Sure, I make it look oh-so-sexy. It’s actually not as glamorous as you may think.
Foreman: The biopsy will tell us for sure what’s wrong.
House: The antibiotics could do the same thing!
Foreman: Could! Not will.
House: We try it, we see!
Foreman: The antibiotics will bring back the pain!
House: Pain makes us make bad decisions. Fear of pain is almost as big a motivator. Now look, we still have time. I will do that biopsy if I have to, but not a moment before. [Foreman takes the pills.]
[Cut to House entering his office.]
House: Start Foreman on IV antibiotics. Where’s his dad?
Cameron: Where are you supposed to be when your son is dying?
House: He’s not with him.
Cameron: He’s in the chapel.
[Cut to the chapel.]
House: I’ve started your son on a new course of treatment. If it works, he’ll get better. If it doesn’t, he won’t. While he’s not getting better, he’s going to experience so much pain that we’ll have to put him in a chemically-induced coma while we figure out what to do next.
Rodney: My son says you’re a manipulative bastard.
House: It’s a pet name. I call him Dr. Bling.
Rodney: I assume you’re here for a reason. What do you want from me?
House: When your son is in a coma you’re the one who’s going to have to make the medical decisions for him.
Rodney: Oh, whatever you decide is fine.
House: You don’t care what I do?
Rodney: I’m not a doctor, what do I know? Except what Eric tells me. He says you’re the best doctor he’s ever worked with.
[Cut to Cameron checking Foreman’s lines.]
Foreman: I need your help.
Cameron: There’s nothing I can give you for the pain.
Foreman: I wanna be put out.
Cameron: I can have a nurse in here in five minutes.
Foreman: No, once I’m out I might not come back. I’ve never done a will.
Cameron: I’ll call a lawyer for you.
Foreman: I want you to be my medical proxy. All the things that piss me off about you in House’s office: too emotional, too caring, too cautious… they’re all good things on this floor.
Cameron: Your dad is –
Cameron: He cares about you.
Foreman: So do you.
Cameron: I can’t do this.
Foreman: We expect family members to make decisions about their loved ones after a ten minute briefing that we’re agonizing over even with years of medical experience.
Cameron: That’s from my article.
Foreman: I’m sorry, Allison. I shouldn’t have stolen your article, I shouldn’t have exposed you. You are a friend, I need to know that we’re okay.
Cameron: No. I’ll be your proxy, but we’re not okay. You’re scared, you’re dying, but that’s the only reason you wanna set things right. We’re gonna get you better first, and then, if you still want to apologize, I’ll be around. I’ll call that lawyer. [She meets House on her way out.]
House: Any improvements?
Cameron: No. As far as we can tell the only improvements the antibiotics are treating is the legionella. I think we need to consider alternate theories.
House: Like what?
Cameron: We do the biopsy.
House: Give the antibiotics more time.
Cameron: There is no more time; the pain was almost unbearable already!
House: So he’s almost in unbearable pain, he’s not almost dead, which means we have more time.
[Cut to the chapel.]
Chase: Mr. Foreman? We need to put your son in a coma. You should be there.
Rodney: It’s a medical procedure, right?
Chase: Yeah, but once we put him out, if we don’t solve this, he won’t wake up.
Rodney: What should I say? Should I talk to him like it’s going to be okay? Or should I be saying goodbye? I need to know what people say when –
Chase: Just tell him you love him.
[Cut to Foreman.]
Rodney: Hey, son.
Foreman: Hey, Dad.
Rodney: It’s going to be okay.
Foreman: You don’t know that.
Rodney: I know.
Foreman: You don’t.
Rodney: I don’t wanna miss you.
Foreman: I love you too, Dad. [Rodney starts to cry.] Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Can we do this now?
Cameron: Yeah, of course. [as Foreman goes under] I accept your apology.
[Cut to House in his office.]
Wilson: Why weren’t you with Foreman?
House: I hang out in the basement, you rag on me. I stay in my office, you rag on me. Honky just can’t buy a break.
Wilson: Do the biopsy.
House: Based on the cop’s progression I figure he’s got another four hours before –
Wilson: You figure? You’re playing Russian Roulette but the gun’s pointed at him.
House: No. Cutting open his head is what’s dangerous.
Wilson: Oh, it’s dangerous. Well, what would people think? The reason you don’t see patients is because if you know them, you’ll give a crap about them.
House: I know you –
Wilson: If you give a crap about them, you stop making outrageous calls. If this was any other patient you’d have damned the risks and cut their head open a long time ago. [Cameron enters.]
Cameron: He’s out. The EEG shows he’s still in pain, the antibiotics have had more than enough time, we’re doing the brain biopsy.
House: Not unless you people can’t come up with something clever in the next three hours.
Cameron: Now, we’re doing it now!
House: Well, who died and made you boss?
[Cut to Cuddy’s office, where Cuddy is looking at the proxy.]
Cuddy: It’s legal.
House: He’s out of his mind! Yesterday he was giggling about a hole in a guy’s head.
Cuddy: Then hire a laywer and challenge it. In the mean time, Cameron’s in charge.
Rodney: Why would he sign that?
Cameron: It’s nothing personal, Mr. Foreman.
Rodney: My son doesn’t trust me – how exactly is that not personal?
Cameron: I’m sorry.
House: You’re sorry? You’re talking about this man’s son. You’re denying him the right to be a part of –
Cuddy: Oh, shut up, House. If you want to do the biopsy, do the biopsy. If House tries to interfere, let me know and I will take care of it.
Cameron: Yeah, you’re a hero. If it wasn’t for you, we’d be cutting into a dead guy’s head instead of Foreman’s. Sorry. Thanks.
[Cut to House and Cameron leaving the clinic.]
House: That was great!
Cameron: It was rude and unnecessary.
Cameron: Go away.
House: Give me time.
Cameron: We’re out of time.
House: An hour.
Cameron: What does “out of time” mean?
House: His O2 stats are at 94 right now. As long as they’re above 90 the danger of fatal arrhythmia doesn’t increase.
Cameron: So what? There’s no point in waiting.
House: You were right. We should be cutting into a corpse’s head.
Cameron: Yeah! We should be, except the CDC has got the cop’s body under –
House: There’s got to be other bodies.
Cameron: You think this thing has killed other people?
House: No, that apartment was a dump. Just because Steve McQueen didn’t get sick doesn’t mean some other varmint didn’t. You give me an hour, I go back there and find a dead animal, we cut its head open instead of Foreman’s.
Cameron: Foreman’s already at 100% oxygen. Once his O2 stats hit 90, I can’t wait any longer. Where’s your suit?
House: Either you’ll find the answer, or I’ll find the answer. Doesn’t matter.
[Cut to Foreman’s room.]
Chase: Prep the drill. We’ve gotta be ready if we get the signal.
[Cut to House in Joe’s apartment. He sees a pigeon outside of his window, and notices that it runs into the wall. His cell rings.]
House: Found a blind bird.
Cameron: Great. How fast can you get it in here?
House: I’ll know in about 30 seconds. [House corners the bird, but it flies off. He then finds a dripping and rusty pipe. Again, the cell rings.]
Cameron: You better have the bird, the surgical team’s in place.
House: I screwed up.
Cameron: How can you not capture a blind bird?
House: That’s not what I meant. I screwed up the first time through this place.
Cameron: Foreman told you everywhere he went.
House: It’s not where, it’s when. He came here in the early afternoon. Me and Steve came two hours too late, you came six hours too early. It’s the water, the irrigation system only pumps –
Cameron: House, I tested the water, the water’s clean! [As Cameron hangs up, Foreman’s stats drop to 89. House climbs up a ladder and sees the water reservoir where the pigeons are drinking – they have to be connected. He rings Cameron again.] House.
House: We tested the wrong water. He stole cable, he stole fertilizer, and he stole water. [looking at it under a microscope] It’s riddled with Naegleria.
Cameron: I know.
House: You already did the biopsy?
Cameron: I thought I had no choice.
[Cut to the chapel.]
Rodney: How’s my son?
Cameron: He has primary amoebic meningoencephalitis. It’s a parasite that goes through the nose and migrates into the brain, where it feeds on brain cells. The legionella attacked the parasite, that’s why the disease slowed down.
Rodney: Is it treatable?
Cameron: We started him on an antiparasitic and the amoebas will clear out of his system.
Rodney: And then he’ll be okay?
Cameron: And then we’ll wean him out of the coma –
Rodney: Will he be okay?
Cameron: There’ll be no lasting damage from the parasite.
Rodney: But the surgery?
Cameron: We don’t know.
[Cue the end of episode montage! Rodney stays by Foreman’s side as Cameron, and then Chase, and then Cuddy monitors Foreman’s vitals. House is there when Foreman wakes up.]
House: Up and at ‘em.
Cameron: How’re you feeling? Can you talk?
Foreman: I don’t feel anything.
Rodney: Are you numb?
Foreman: No, I mean, I don’t feel any pain.
House: Keep your head still and follow my finger.
Foreman: I’m okay?
House: Your breath stinks, you’re peeing into a bag. What are our names?
Foreman: You did the biopsy? [Cameron nods.] Thank you.
Foreman: Cameron, my dad, and the manipulative bastard.
House: You remembered.
Foreman: How’re you doing, Dad?
Rodney: Great, relieved… great.
Foreman: What did I have?
Cameron: [as House is checking Foreman’s reflexes] Naegleria. Biopsy showed the amoeba, CDC autopsy eventually found the amoeba, and House found it in the water in the cop’s roof.
House: Wiggle your left toes.
Foreman: Wait, you went back and she did the biopsy?
House: Your left toes, Foreman.
Foreman: I just did.
House: No, you didn’t.
Rodney: He can’t move his toes?
House: He can move them. Raise your right arm. [Foreman raises his left. Whoops.]