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House Transcripts
It's like Clinic Duty for the transcribers
8.19 - The C-Word 
9th-May-2012 09:30 pm
Doc On Duty
Originally Aired: April 30, 2012

Written by: John C. Kelley & Marqui Jackson
Directed by: Hugh Laurie

Transcribed by: Tammy (beckston)


DISCLAIMER: We don't own "HOUSE." It's owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions. This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use.



[Scene opens at a children’s playground and carnival on a sunny day. A dog catches a Frisbee. A child rides by on a bike, and moms push their children on the swings. A father holds his daughter on his lap at the top of the slide]

Simon: Three, two, one. Yeah! Whoo!

[They slide to the bottom, both with big grins on their faces. Simon lifts Emily onto his knee and they sit on the bottom of the slide]

Simon: What do you want to do next? Uh, swings? (Emily shakes her head no and Simon mimics her) Okay. Um, crawl tube?

Emily: Nah.

Simon: Nah? Well, I think we're running out of options, honey.

Emily: I want to go on the merry-go-round.

Simon: The m — again?

Emily: But this time all by myself.

Simon: Oh. I don't know, jellybean.

Emily: Daddy, I'm six. I'm not a baby anymore. (putting her clasped hands under her chin and looking adorable) Please?

[Cut to a pinwheel booth in front of the merry-go-round. Simon is buying a ticket for the ride. He brings the ticket over to Emily, who is holding her stuffed bear]

Simon: You ready?

Emily: Uh-huh.

Simon: All right. Come here. (squatting down) I'll take beary. (Emily reaches for the ticket, but Simon pulls it back) Mm. Now you promise you're not gonna tell mommy, right? She'll kick my butt if she finds out.

Emily: Pinky swear.

[They link fingers and shake]

Simon: (holding out the ticket) All right. Go get 'em.

[Emily enters the gate and hands her ticket to an attendant]

Simon: Remember to hold on tight.

Emily: I will.

[Another attendant fastens the safety strap on Emily’s carousel horse. She looks back at her father and waves. Simon has his video camera ready. He waves back to her. The ride starts. Emily gives her father a big smile as she comes around the first time. He concentrates on getting her in the camera’s frame. The second time around, Emily looks like she is not feeling very well. Simon is worried. As she comes around the third time, she looks almost unaware of her surroundings and her nose is bleeding. On the fourth rotation, Simon sees that Emily is no longer on her carousel horse]

Simon: (yelling) Stop the ride!

[Simon drops his video camera, shoves past the ticket taker and calls out to his daughter]

Simon: Emily! Emily, where are you?

[He jumps onto the moving carousel, landing flat on his stomach]

Simon: Em? Emily? Emily? Emily, where are you, honey?

[Simon pulls himself to his feet. He spots Emily on the floor at the center of the carousel. This part of the ride is stationary. Simon jumps down to his daughter and cradles her in his arms]

Simon: Oh, Em. Emily. Honey? (yelling loudly) Help me!

OPENING CREDITS

[Scene opens on a bright spot on a radiology film. The camera pulls back to reveal an obviously somber Wilson, who stands staring at the scan. He stands in his t-shirt, holding his button down shirt in his hands]

House: (entering the room) Is that our precious little bundle of tumor? They grow up so fast, don't they?

[Wilson turns around to find House limping into the room, his backpack slung across his shoulder. They appear to be in a doctor’s office in a downtown New York City hospital]

Wilson: How did you know I was here?

House: How do you think?

Wilson: Foreman.

House: Actually, that would have been easier. No, I followed you.

Wilson: It didn't occur to you that that might mean I don't want you involved in my cancer treatment?

House: I'm not here as a doctor. I'm here as a towering pillar of strength.

Wilson: Be a pillar in the parking lot.

House: No. How many times have I told you I wanted to be alone and you've made yourself a pain in the ass? I owe you. My word, not a word.

Wilson: Realizing I'm most likely going to regret this, all right.

[Wilson goes back to look at the radiology film on the wall. House sits down on the couch, unzips his backpack and pulls out a small liquor bottle, an aluminum canned drink and a collapsible wine cup and puts them all out on the coffee table]

Wilson: What — what are you doing?

House: (mixing himself a drink) My best friend has cancer. Cut me some slack. Also, spring break. I'm on vacation. (House puts an umbrella in his drink and settles back on the couch) Although looking at you now, I can tell the wet t-shirt contest is probably gonna suck.

[Cut to the PPTH diagnostics dept. conference room. Taub has his hands cupped around his eyes and is peering into House’s dark office]

Taub: House taking time off is a bad sign.

Adams: (putting on her lab coat) "A bad sign." You think the apocalypse is coming because House wants to be there for Wilson?

Taub: Yes. You're new.

[Chase walks over from the kitchen area and all four team members gather around the table. Taub and Park are already sitting when Foreman enters carrying a stack of medical files. He is followed by another doctor, who is carrying a cardboard file box]

Foreman: We got a case. (He starts handing out the files) Six-year-old with a nosebleed and breathing problems. She was born with a rare mutation of AT.

Elizabeth: Emily has a unique variant on both of her ATM genes. Her disorder mimics AT, but not all of the symptoms.

[Dr. Lawson puts the file box down on a chair]

Foreman: This is Dr. Elizabeth Lawson. She's a developmental geneticist attached to JHU and an expert on the girl's condition.

[Adams sits down at the table]

Chase: (looking at the file) Elizabeth Lawson. Emily Lawson.

Elizabeth: I'm here as a doctor, not a mother.

[Chase looks at Foreman and then sits down at the table with the rest of the team]

Taub: Nosebleeds and breathing problems are common symptoms of ataxia telangiectasia.

Park: We could just be seeing the natural progression of—

Elizabeth: (interrupting) It's not. AT patients have a life expectancy of 20 years. Emily is only six. It's something else. I examined her lungs two days ago. They're functioning normally.

[Elizabeth is digging through the files in the box. She pulls out a few of them and tosses them onto the table]

Adams: It says she fell off a carousel. Head trauma—

Elizabeth: If the diagnosis was easy, I wouldn't need you people. I'm here because, according to Eric, you're the best.

Park: We are. Have you considered Wegener's granulomatosis?

Elizabeth: It's a good fit. But she can't have X-rays. AT makes her hypersensitive to ionizing radiation. I'll get her prepped for an MRI.

[Elizabeth grabs a copy of her daughter’s file and leaves the room. Taub, Chase, Park, and Adams all look at Foreman]

Foreman: She knows more about her daughter's genetic condition than any of you. She'll be an asset.

Chase: Or she won't, Eric.

Foreman: This isn't a request. Use her.

[Cut back to House and Wilson sitting in front of the desk in the New York doctor’s office. Dr. Kondo sits behind his desk]

Dr. Kondo: The tumor's spread to the surrounding tissue. We're gonna have to shrink it before we remove it surgically.

Wilson: I'm more interested in exactly how you plan to do that, Mike.

Dr. Kondo: We start conservative. Daily radiation treatments for three weeks. And, if it doesn't shrink enough after that, we'll add the chemo—

Wilson: And, if it hasn't shrunk enough after that, I'm dead.

Dr. Kondo: Look, you have over a 75% chance that the radiation alone is enough. Relax. Caught this in time.

Wilson: Catching it in time would have been before it invaded the tissue around my thymus. I want the radiation and the chemo concurrently.

Dr. Kondo: Why stress your immune system unnecessarily? Let's just go with my plan, okay? The radiation first—

Wilson: (getting up) I'm gonna get a second opinion.

Dr. Kondo: Are you serious? Look, I've seen you recommend this exact treatment dozens of times.

Wilson: We're done here. I'll look for a doctor with some actual balls.

[House gets up also and starts to follow Wilson. Dr. Kondo stops him]

Dr. Kondo: (to House) Hey, you need to talk to your friend. He's embarrassing himself. A doctor should be able to handle his own illness with a little bit more dignity.

House: I agree with Wilson.

Dr. Kondo: My recommended treatment is sound.

House: No, I meant about the ball-less part. Explains the office. (House leaves the office)

[Cut to Emily’s hospital room. Emily is asleep. Elizabeth and Simon are arguing]

Simon: It was a merry-go-round. She's a kid, Liz. We were having fun. You should try it sometime.

Elizabeth: Fun? She's six, not you. You know she has balance issues.

Simon: I know that she's—

[Taub clears his throat. He and Adams are standing in the doorway]

Elizabeth: (to Taub and Adams) This is Emily's father, Simon. He was with her when the symptoms occurred.

Simon: I had her all week. She was fine.

Taub: We could come back.

Elizabeth: No need. Patient's ready for transport.

[Elizabeth goes to her daughter’s bed and speaks gently while stroking her hair. Emily cradles her stuffed bear in her arms]

Elizabeth: Wake up, sleepy head. (She pulls a stuffed penguin out of her coat pocket and presents it to Emily) I saw it in the gift shop. I know how much you like them.

[Emily looks at her father, then takes the penguin]

Emily: Thanks.

Elizabeth: They're gonna take you for an MRI now.

Adams: (leaning over the bed) It means "magic really cool images."

Emily: I thought it stood for "magnetic resonance imaging."

Simon: We've spent a lot of time in hospitals.

[Cut to a close-up of House]

House: B-9.

Wilson: Hit. And I hate you. (drinking a shot of liquor) Ugh. I'm done.

[Wilson and House are playing a version of “Battleship” where the looser has to drink a shot of liquor each time one of his ships is hit. They have set up their games using two pizza boxes (lunch?) with the lids between them to hide their ships/grids from one another]

House: (peeking around the pizza box lids) I sunk your battleship?

Wilson: (He lowers both lids so he can see House) No. But I think I'm gonna puke.

House: Good. Now that you're sufficiently buzzed, what was the reason behind you freaking out on Kondo? Are you scared? In denial?

Wilson: I know you get confused any time someone thinks that you're wrong, but it's not considered freaking out for a patient to ask for a second opinion.

House: Okay, well, here it is. Kondo is right. You should be in radiology right now.

Wilson: Well done. You've kept your word for almost (looking at his watch) two hours.

House: Every day you wait, our pal toomie is growing larger in your chest. If you want to live, stop screwing around and do something about it.

Wilson: Good idea. I think I'll start with spending spring break on my own.

[Wilson takes his jacket and leaves the room, which might possibly be a lounge of some kind at the New York hospital]

[Cut to the radiology department at PPTH. Adams and Taub sit in the control room as Emily undergoes the MRI scan]

Adams: How you feeling in there, Emily?

Emily: Good, I guess.

Adams: Is something wrong?

Emily: I was only pretending to be asleep. You think that's dishonest?

Adams: Uh, that's—

Taub: My daughters do that too. But they know that sometimes, when it seems like mommy and daddy are fighting, it's really only because they're worried about you.

Emily: And does your wife ever want a divorce?

Taub: No. Everything's fine at home. Hold still now. No more talking.

Adams: What do you think of her mother? She called her daughter "the patient.”

Taub: If my kids were born with an expiration date, I don't—

Emily: Ow!

[Taub and Adams push the button that slides the table out of the machine and rush into the main room]

Emily: Ow! Ow-ee!

Taub: Where does it hurt?

Emily: I want my daddy. Where's my daddy? Ow! Ow!

[Taub and Adams both look at Emily’s fingers, which are blue at the tips]

[Cut to the diagnostics conference room, where the team and Elizabeth are running a new differential]

Taub: We were able to restore circulation to her hands and feet before any permanent damage set in.

Chase: Primary Raynaud's? The cold inside the MRI room could have set it off.

Adams: Stress can also precipitate the condition.

Elizabeth: She's shown no evidence of cold sensitivity, and she has no problems with MRI machines.

Adams: There are other kinds of stress. She heard you and your husband
fighting.

Elizabeth: Unfortunately, she's heard a lot worse than that before. It's not stress.

Taub: Could be secondary Raynaud's. Lupus is consistent with Emily's symptoms

Elizabeth: Her lymph nodes aren't enlarged, and she has shown no signs of immune activation. (she pauses for a moment) It could be heavy metal poisoning.

Park: From what? The carousel? She was only on it for a minute.

Elizabeth: Simon moved into an old apartment building three weeks ago. I'm sure he has no idea what the insulation's made of, what kind of paint. He's a good father, but when it comes to Emily's health — (taking of her lab coat) I'm gonna get his keys and check for environmentals.

Chase: Lupus is a better fit.

Elizabeth: I don't mean to pull rank here, but I am her mother.

Chase: I thought you said you were here as a doctor.

Elizabeth: And as a doctor, I need parental consent. See above. While I'm gone, please start her on Chelation Therapy. (She leaves)

Chase: She's the mother. So let's treat her like any other mother.

[Cut to Chase turning on the lights in Elizabeth’s basement lab]

Chase: I think we just hit the environmental mother lode. Funny she never mentioned an entire basement full of dangerous chemicals and drugs.

Adams: You think she'd even let Emily down here?

[Chase spots an area in the corner, which is divided off by a folding fence. It is filled with toys and Emily’s artwork]

Chase: Yeah. Apparently a lot.

[They continue to look around the lab. Chase awakens a computer, which has a desktop background of Emily’s baby pictures. Adams peers into a cabinet full of drug vials]

Adams: You ever heard of Lex-2?

Chase: Read about it. It's an experimental aminoglycoside antibiotic. Supposedly it can override DNA errors in the ATM gene.

Adams: Doesn't mean she's giving it to her daughter. Anyone studying A-T would be researching it.

Chase: How? You see any lab rats down here? The only cage I see is right there. (They both look at the makeshift playpen in the corner)

[Cut to Wilson sitting behind his desk at PPTH with his feet propped up. His eyes are closed. House opens the door of the office. Wilson opens his eyes long enough to see that it is House, then closes them again]

Wilson: Go away. I have a headache.

House: (coming into the office) We don't have to have sex. Sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk. Me first. (He turns to face Wilson who is now paying attention) You don't want a second opinion. You're already on your fifth. You got Evans at Mercy, Shaw at County, Foster at Johns Hopkins. And every one of them has given you the same advice. You're nuts. You don't just want chemo. You want a dose so high, there's a one-in-three chance it'll kill you outright. Question is, why didn't you tell me? Because you knew I'd stop you. Which means you've already found someone insane enough or desperate enough to give you what amounts to a death dose of chemicals. (House wanders back behind Wilson’s desk) But who would be that stupid? I'm thinking that the who, is you.

[With his cane, House knocks the lid off of a cardboard file box sitting against the back wall. He picks up the box, walks around to the front of the desk and sets it down on the desk. He reaches into the box and pulls out a plastic IV bag of medicine]

House: (holding up the bag) Where exactly were you planning on killing yourself? 'Cause I don't think Foreman is gonna let you do it here.

Wilson: My place. I've been stockpiling equipment.

[House pulls a knife out of his pocket and flips open the blade. He is still holding the bag of meds in his other hand]

Wilson: No. No! Stop. (trying to explain) I'm still healthy. Why not go the extreme route now when there's a better chance of surviving it?

House: Statistically, this treatment has about the same chance of killing you as the thymoma does. But a hell of a lot faster.

[Wilson picks up a small maze puzzle off his desk]

Nancy Wells, cervical cancer, 70% survival rate. Died November 6, 1998; 64 years old.

[He puts the puzzle down and takes a small wooden carving of a bird off of his bookshelf]

Bernie Jones, melanoma, 89% survival rate. October 10, 1999. He was 52.

[He puts the bird back and picks up a deep sea diver from a collection of toys on a counter behind his desk]

John Taylor. Thyroid. 96% survival rate. I promised him he'd be fine. (putting the toy back) Eight years old.

Wilson: (turning back to face House) I am not going to die slowly in a hospital bed under fluorescent lighting with people stopping by to gawk and lie about how I look. Even a small chance of that happening is too big a chance for me.

[House tosses the meds back in the box, pockets the knife and picks up his cane]

House: (walking toward the door) You're an idiot. And the odds say you're gonna die.

[Just before he actually leaves, he turns back to Wilson]

House: We'll do it at my place. (He leaves, shutting the door behind him)

[Cut to Foreman’s office. Chase and Adams have brought in a vial of the Lex-2]

Chase: The only environmental factors we think caused your daughter's illness are the ones you shot her full of.

Elizabeth: I tested the drug. This is what I did for a living for ten years.

Adams: She's your child, not a Guinea pig.

Elizabeth: I tested it first. On myself. And in six months, I didn't document any adverse effects.

Foreman: A trial of one is basically irrelevant.

Elizabeth: Respiratory infections are common with AT. With Emily's mutation, they are deadly, and they get worse every year. Lex-2 won't be approved for at least the next five years. Emily, on the other hand, wouldn't have survived the winter. What was I supposed to do?

Foreman: There's a reason for FDA requirements. A study at Jackson Memorial—

Elizabeth: I know about Gaines' research. He's publishing next month.

Foreman: Was. I just spoke to him. His team just linked the use of Lex-2 to renal failure in mice and rats.

Chase: She needs an ultrasound guided renal biopsy to check the damage. Hopefully it's reversible. (Chase and Adams leave. Elizabeth looks devastated)

[Cut to House’s living room. Wilson is applying heart monitor skin patches to his chest. House is mixing martinis. The couch has been made up into a bed and there is an IV stand beside it. The classic jazz tune A Melody From the Sky by Bunny Berigan and his Orchestra is playing in the background. Wilson zips up his swearshirt and sits down on the couch opposite House]

House: (picking up his drink) To stupidity.

[Wilson picks up his drink and holds it toward House to complete the toast]

House: (pausing) Mm, not quite done. To muscle aches, spasms. To your joints feeling like they're being ripped out and replaced with shards of broken glass.

Wilson: Should I be writing any of this down?

House: Your stomach fills with bile. When you vomit, it feels like someone's forcing a white-hot hammer down your esophagus, tearing your flesh. Blood's dripping down the back of your throat, choking and gagging you with the slick, coppery taste of burnt pennies.

Wilson: I am an Oncologist. I know—
House: If you did, we wouldn't be sitting here. Day two: Your white blood cells are gone, opening up your system to attack. Your temperature skyrockets. One second, your skin feels like it's on fire. The next second, it's entombed in ice. Every pain sensor in your body is firing at the same time until agony isn't even a word or a concept — it's your only reality. You hallucinate. You dream of death. And then the race begins. Can your body claw its way back in time before the hostile organisms and parasites claim you permanently? Win, you live. Lose, you die. (He takes a sip of his martini) Now, what are we doing here, Wilson?

[Wilson still looks determined. He picks up the plastic bag of chemo meds and hands it to House, who looks scared]

[Cut to Chase performing an ultrasound on Emily. Simon sits at her bedside and holds her hand. Elizabeth stands at the bottom of the bed]

Chase: Kidney number one looks good. Which means we'll probably take the biopsy from two.

Simon: Hey, you're doing great. Brave as always.

[Emily looks up at the screen]

Chase: Pretty cool, eh? You want to try?

[She nods and starts to take the ultrasound wand, but then puts her hand on her chest]

Elizabeth: What's wrong?

Emily: My chest hurts.

[A monitor starts beeping. Elizabeth takes Simon’s place beside the bed. Emily sits up, coughs and groans. She is bleeding from the mouth]

Chase: It's definitely not her kidneys.
[Chase uses his stethoscope to listen to Emily’s heart]

[Cut to House’s apartment. House limps into the living room carrying a bowl. There is an old black and white movie playing on the TV]

House: Promise this'll taste just as good coming up as it did going down.

[House hands the bowl to Wilson, and supporting his bad thigh picks a wastebasket up off the floor before sitting down on the couch beside Wilson]

Wilson: If things go wrong, I just want you to know—

House: If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me, everyone always just kind of assumed it.

Wilson: I just want you to know… that I appreciate the risk you're taking… Pumping a human being full of lethal chemicals in your living room. If I die, it probably won't go over well with your probation officer.

House: That's not gonna be an issue.

Wilson: I'm glad at least one of us is confident.

House: Not me. I've already identified a couple of spots to dump your body if this goes south.

Wilson: I've always enjoyed Trinity Park.

House: It does have a nice access to the lake.

[Wilson’s hand shakes as he tries to pick up the spoon in the bowl]

House: Muscle spasms already?

Wilson: No. It's nothing really.

House: Good news. Takes most people two bags to get to that stage. You're way ahead of schedule.

[The camera pans up to the bag of chemo meds hanging from the IV pole. It appears to be half full]

[Cut to a short time into the future. The IV is still dripping, and Wilson does not look at all well]

Wilson: You'll think it's stupid.

House: That hasn't stopped you before.

Wilson: I just always thought, when I got old or sick, I'd have a wife or kids to look after me.

House: (coming out of the kitchen) And in this scenario, are your loving wife and kids holding the life support cord, or are they thumbing through your will? (House stops behind the couch) I'm in it, right?

Wilson: Mm.

House: You have everything you need right here. We both do.

[Wilson looks up at House, who holds out a syringe]

House: Painkiller. Industrial strength. Level: Awesome.

[House plops down on the couch from behind and connects the shared IV line to a port in his arm, which he must have already prepared]

House: We're on vacation.

[House reaches back to press the button, which will start the pain medication drip. They both lie back on the couch and enjoy the effects of the pain meds]

Wilson: Aahh! That is nice.

[Cut to the door of House’s empty office. The camera pans down the hallway to the conference room. Dr. Elizabeth Lawson and the team are running a new differential]

Chase: Her kidneys are fine. I don't think we're looking at side effects from the Lex-2.

Adams: She's prone to respiratory infection. Pneumonia?

Elizabeth: No persistent cough, chills, or excess sweating.

Taub: What about a pulmonary embolism?

Park: Fits coughing up blood, but a clot. From what?

Taub: Bruising from when she fell off the carousel. Contusion damages a deep vein, causes a clot. A piece breaks off, travels to her lungs.

Elizabeth: We need to get her on heparin now. Another embolism could cause a heart attack or a stroke.

[Everybody’s pagers start beeping]

Elizabeth: What's wrong? Is it Emily?

Park: (looking at her pager) Sort of.

[Cut to the main lobby of PPTH where Simon is signing Emily out of the hospital. Emily sits in a wheelchair]

Elizabeth: You can't do this.

Simon: I'm taking her to Mercy. Everything you people have done has just made her worse.

Elizabeth: You don't have the right. We have joint custody.

Simon: Where was my right when you were treating our daughter like a lab rat?

Elizabeth: She'd be dead if I hadn't.

Chase: Stop it. Your daughter deserves better than this.

[Emily sits with her hands over her ears. Elizabeth goes over to Emily and squats down beside her]

Elizabeth: It's okay, sweetie.

Simon: Mommy and I are just gonna talk. Okay?

[Emily nods]

Chase: (to Emily) You want to get some candy?

[Chase wheels Emily away from her parents, leaving Taub to explain the latest theory to Simon]

Taub: We believe Emily has a clot in her lungs. If you leave now, she could die before her new doctors are even up to speed.

Simon: From her AT?

Taub: From the fall off the carousel.

[Simon, feeling guilty, turns his back on Taub and Elizabeth for a moment]

Elizabeth: Now can we just stop blaming each other and do the right thing here?

Simon: (turning to face her) You're really gonna equate the two?

Elizabeth: No, you were giving her two minutes of fun. I was trying to save her life.

Simon: What's her best friend's name? What's the name of her favorite teacher? Why does she hate that stuffed animal you gave her? She's been having nightmares about penguins all month.

[Simon heads off to find his daughter, but Elizabeth stops him]

Elizabeth: What's her blood type? Rh factor? Her serum immunoglobulin levels?

Simon: I don't care. I don’t care. Those are letters and numbers. That's not her.

Elizabeth: What about the variant in her E-14 ATM intergenic promoter region? Because that's what's killing our daughter. Unless I can find a way to reactivate it.

Simon: Just make her better.

[Cut to the IV line going into Wilson’s arm. There are two tubes going into the line. Wilson is asleep and looks very sick. He wakes up and groans]

John: You don't look too good mister.

[Wilson struggles to sit up and tries to focus on a boy sitting in the corner of the room. He is hallucinating]

Wilson: How did you get in here?

John: The door. Are you, like, sick or something?

Wilson: Where's House? Where are your parents? (the boy shrugs) Oh, I know you. You live in the building, right? What's your name?

John: You don't remember?

Wilson: (calling out) House.

[Wilson tries to stand, but falls back down on the couch. The boy is now holding the deep-sea diver toy which Wilson keeps in his office]

John: You promised me I'd go home again, Dr. Wilson.

[Wilson finally makes the connection. He groans and covers his face with his hands]

John: You said it wasn't my fault.

Wilson: (not looking up) It wasn't, John.

John: If I didn't do nothing wrong, why did I die?

Wilson: (crying out in pain) I don't know. (looking up at John) I shouldn't have done this. (pausing) Am I dead?

[John holds out his arm to Wilson. Reality returns and it is House reaching out to put his hand on Wilson’s shoulder]

House: Not yet. It just feels that way. Are you okay? I mean, apart from the pain, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramps?

[House is sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. Wilson lies back down. He groans and looks at House]

[Cut to the radiology dept. at PPTH. Emily is once again in the MRI machine. Taub, Park and Elizabeth are in the control room]

Taub: I worked six months in a research lab after med school. You get so focused. Once I didn't eat for two days. It's easy to forget what actually matters.

Elizabeth: I didn't. Yeah, it sucks I got her the wrong doll, but…

Park: Good news. Emily's lungs are clear. No clot.

Elizabeth: And bad news. We still don't know what's happening to her.

Taub: (looking at Emily on the monitor) Whatever it is, there's liver involvement. Her eyes are jaundiced. Her liver's failing.

[Cut to Elizabeth’s clenched fists resting on the conference room table]

Taub: We found a blockage in her hepatic vein, which is restricting blood flow to her liver.

Park: Polycythemia vera?

Adams: Red blood counts are normal. Could be some sort of connective tissue disorder.

Elizabeth: What if — what if we're just seeing the end result of her condition? She's unique. One screwed-up gene from each of us.

Taub: Let's stick with our process.

Elizabeth: I shouldn't be here. (She leaves)

Chase: What are we missing?

Taub: Advanced Lyme disease.

Park: Would have seen it in the blood.

Chase: He said advanced. We wouldn't pick it up in her blood if it's in her organs and nervous system now. It fits everything but the nosebleed.

Park: But why is it attacking now, all at once? What's changed?

Adams: Elizabeth has. She stopped giving Emily the Lex-2. It's an aminoglycoside antibiotic. It's what was keeping the Lyme in check.

Chase: We need to start her on amoxicillin. (Chase leaves)

[Cut to Wilson’s sweaty face]

Wilson: Mm.

[He groans and motions to House, who holds a bucket in front of Wilson and steadies his head as he vomits. Wilson groans again. House mops his face with a cloth]

Wilson: You lied. Doesn't taste better coming back up.

House: Here's another one. You look good.

Wilson: What's the white blood cell count?

House: It's down to 1,000, still dropping.

Wilson: I need more morphine.

House: We're out. You've been using my personal supply of painkillers for the last eight hours.

[House shakes two Vicodin out of a bottle and puts them in Wilson’s mouth, one at a time]

Wilson: You have — you have enough for both of us?

House: I've got enough stashed around here for a minyan.

[A “minyan” in Judaism refers to the quorum required for certain religious obligations. The traditional minyan for most cases consists of ten men.]

[He holds a glass of water to Wilson’s mouth so that he can wash the pills down]

Wilson: (he groans as he props himself up enough to drink) Mm.

House: Just remember they're a gift. So it's rude to keep throwing them up. Found that out with those candlesticks you got me.

[House limps into the kitchen, stumbling along the way. His leg is obviously hurting quite a bit. He spills the Vicodin out onto the counter. There are six pills left. He starts to take one, then looks back toward Wilson in the living room and takes a long swig of whiskey instead]

[Cut to Elizabeth sitting next to Emily’s hospital bed, holding her hand. Simon sits in a chair on the other side of the bed. Chase and Adams enter the room]

Chase: We think it's Lyme.

[Simon stands and goes to his daughter’s bedside]

Elizabeth: I would have seen signs of that.

Adams: Not if the Lex-2 was keeping it in check.

Elizabeth: We live in the city. We don't have pets. She's never even been in the woods.
Emily: Yes, I have. With daddy.

[They all look at Simon]

Simon: (sighing) I should have told you, but I know how you feel about it. I grew up hunting with my dad. I wanted to share it with my daughter, at least once.

Emily: We only took pictures. You don't need to be mad.

Adams: Maybe we should step outside.

Elizabeth: No. We can't protect her from everything. (putting up the bed rail) I assume you'll need a lumbar puncture to confirm.

[Cut to an agitated Wilson. He groans, pulls out the IV line, then rolls off the couch and attempts to stand. He falls onto the floor and starts to crawl]

House: You lost a contact?

[Speaking to Wilson from the chair where he has been sitting vigil]

Wilson: (not looking up) Going to the little boy's room.


House: They're called adult diapers for a reason. Use it.

[House limps heavily over to Wilson and starts to help him up. Wilson slaps him away]

Wilson: I did, and if you think I'm gonna let you change me—

House: (trying again to help Wilson up) It's okay. I'm a doctor.

[Wilson slaps House away, more forcefully this time. House backs off]

Wilson: Hey! Just leave me alone.

[Wilson groans and lies down on the floor, rolling over onto his back]

Wilson: It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. An oncologist with cancer. Of all the things that could be killing me… It's like the universe is giving me the big middle finger.

House: (gingerly sitting down on the floor beside Wilson) The universe doesn't care—

Wilson: (angrily) Why me? I'm always telling my patients not to torture themselves, because there's no answer.

House: Sound advice.

Wilson: (breathing heavily) It's cruel advice. They were just trying to make sense of what was happening to them, and I'm there telling them not to bother? I should have spent my life being more like you. Should have been a manipulative, self-centered, narcissistic ass, who brought misery to everything and everyone in his life.

House: You'd still have cancer.

Wilson: Yeah! But at least I'd feel like I deserved it.

[Cut to Chase and Adams preparing the lumbar puncture on Emily]

Emily: Do you think my parents will get back together?

Chase: I don't know. I'm sure they love each other, but—

Emily: They only fight about me.

Adams: That's because they care so much.

Emily: So maybe when I die, they'll get back together.

[Chase has just finished the lumbar puncture, when Emily’s arm flops down on the bed]

Adams: Emily, what's wrong?

Emily: I can't move my arm.

[They roll Emily over onto her back. Adams examines her eyes with a lightscope. Chase raises her arms]

Chase: Just keep your arms up for me.

[Emily’s arms flop back onto the bed and a monitor starts beeping. A nurse and Emily’s parents run into the room]

Simon: What's happening to her?

Chase: She's having a stroke.

[Cut to House holding a pan for Wilson as he vomits. The heart monitor starts beeping. Wilson holds an oxygen mask to his face]

House: Okay, your heart rate's up, BP's tanking. White blood count's
At 500. We have to go to the hospital now.

Wilson: No.

House: I don't have the equipment or the meds to handle this.

Wilson: No. Win or lose. Win or lose. That was the deal.

House: (clearly worried) That was the deal when there was an "or". You can't win this.

Wilson: (shaking his head) No. No. I'd rather die here. (crying) Not in an ambulance. Not in a hospital. Please, you can't do that to me. I can't — (Wilson grabs a fistful of House’s t-shirt. House places his hand on Wilson’s head) House… Please. Promise me that you won't do that to me. Promise me.

House: Okay, I promise.

[Wilson relaxes a bit and breathes from the oxygen mask. House turns off the monitor alarm]

[Cut to the team running a new differential outside Emily’s hospital room]

Chase: Stroke. Blockage in her hepatic vein, coughing blood, trouble breathing, and Raynaud's.

Park: If we hadn't already ruled it out, it sounds like textbook pulmonary embolism.

Chase: What mimics a clot but isn't a clot?

Taub: Fungal infection.

Adams: Her CSF was clean. No bacterial or fungal markers. Anyone tried calling House?

Taub: Not picking up.

Park: Or returning messages or texts.

Chase: We're on our own here, so just give me some theories we can use.

Park: Hematologic malignancies. AT patients are more prone to that form of cancer.

Taub: You think cancer would present and kill her in three days

Chase: Not cancer. But a tumor could act like a clot. An atrial myxoma.

[A computer-generated graphic of the problem is displayed as Chase explains it to Emily’s parents in her room]

Chase: A primary heart tumor. The swinging motion of the myxoma intermittently blocked the flow of blood through the right atrium. Inflow blockage stagnated the hepatic vein, which clotted and caused liver failure. Outflow blockage caused the Raynaud's phenomenon and stroke. Pieces of the tumor broke off and lodged in the lungs, causing Emily’s breathing problems and the coughing blood. We'll remove the tumor surgically, and hopefully the biopsy reveals it's benign.

[Cut to a clear sunrise, then to Wilson’s right arm; the arm into which the chemo medicine is flowing. He appears to be sleeping peacefully. House is asleep in a nearby chair. He wakes up as Wilson begins to stir. House limps over to the couch and hands Wilson a glass of water]

Wilson: (sounding a bit better) Wow. You — you really look like crap.

House: (nodding) Been fighting a cold lately. Seven to ten days for the swelling to go down. Then we rescan and schedule the surgery.

[Wilson takes a sip of water as House goes to the window and opens the drapes, letting much needed sunshine into the room]

Wilson: I seem to recall, I said some things to you—

House: You talked a lot. I stopped listening after you confessed your fear of dolphins. Can we just tone down the bromance a few notches? My leg is killing me.

[House leans heavily on his piano and rubs his right thigh]

Wilson: (sitting up on the couch) One last favor. I'd like to actually make it to the bathroom this time.

[House leans down so that they can grab onto one another, then helps Wilson onto his feet. House helps Wilson to the bathroom, stumbling once and holding onto the radiator in the hallway]

Wilson: I thought you said you had plenty of Vicodin.

House: Everybody lies.

Wilson: So the way I felt, you feel that, what, most of the time? It really does suck being you, doesn't it?

House: At least I don't have cancer.

[The reach the bathroom. House helps Wilson inside then closes the door]

[Cut back to Emily’s hospital room. Simon lies on the bed with Emily, reading to her. Elizabeth gets up from a chair as Chase and Adams enter the room]

Chase: The tumor was benign.

Adams: And we were able to remove all of it.

Emily: Does this mean I'm not sick anymore?

Elizabeth: (sitting down on the bed) No, honey. The tumor didn't cause your genetic condition. You're still sick.

Simon: But we never let that stop us before, right? So what do you want to do when we get out of here?

Chase: Have you been to the aquarium? It's pretty cool.

Emily: Can we go, daddy?

Simon: You bet.

Elizabeth: Me too?

Emily: Can she come with us?

Simon: You know mommy never has to ask.

[Cut to House and Wilson getting off the 4th floor elevator at PPTH. Wilson is wearing a shirt and tie and looks much better]

Wilson: I'll see you at lunch. (he heads toward his office)

[Wilson enters his office. He notices a laptop sitting open on his desk and wakes it up. Any Way You Want It by Journey starts playing on the computer]

♪♫ Any way you want it ♪♫
♪♫ that's the way you need it ♪♫
♪♫ any way you want it ♪♫

[Wilson sits down behind his desk to watch the slide show that is playing on the computer]

♪♫ she loves to laugh ♪♫
♪♫ she loves to sing ♪♫
♪♫ she does everything ♪♫
♪♫ she loves to move ♪♫

[Apparently, House took lots of pictures of Wilson when he was undergoing the drastic chemo treatment and not always aware of his surroundings. The first shot shows Wilson lying on the couch with a pretty girl in a bikini on either side of him. They are all wearing colorful leis, and Wilson is wearing sunglasses and has a Hawaiian print throw draped over his abdomen]

♪♫ she loves to groove ♪♫
♪♫ she loves the lovin' things ♪♫

[The slides show Wilson being kissed by the girls, wearing a funny floral hat, wearing a blonde wig and swirly sunglasses, and wearing a Mexican sombrero with House holding the mouthpiece of a horn to his lips]

♪♫ ooh, all night ♪♫
♪♫ all night ♪♫
♪♫ oh, every night ♪♫

[There are more shots with House and the girls; Wilson dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, holding a ukulele; and wearing the sombrero again while clutching a bottle of whiskey]

[Cut to Wilson watching the slide show, which is so absurd, and so Houseian. Wilson starts to laugh and then loses it completely and just laughs out loud, bringing himself to tears]

♪♫ so hold tight ♪♫
♪♫ hold tight ♪♫
♪♫ oh, baby, hold tight ♪♫
♪♫ oh, she said ♪♫
♪♫ any way you want it ♪♫
♪♫ She said any way you want it ♪♫
♪♫ that's the way you need it ♪♫
♪♫ any way you want it ♪♫


THE END


Comments 
10th-May-2012 06:38 am (UTC)
Thank you very much, as always! :)
12th-May-2012 08:57 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
Awesome!
21st-May-2012 03:51 am (UTC)
Wow. These are always awesome. Just one thing I noticed. When House and Wilson get off the 4th floor elevator, Wilson is actually wearing, shirt, tie, pants, suit jacket, and overcoat. House is wearing his usual gear with a suit jacket. I think what Wilson is wearing is an important detail because it really doesn't make any sense.
21st-Nov-2012 06:42 am (UTC)
Thank you for sharing
21st-Dec-2015 10:27 pm (UTC) - Episode Discussion Post 8x19 "The C-Word"
User menolly_au referenced to your post from Episode Discussion Post 8x19 "The C-Word" saying: [...] Transcript at Clinic Duty [...]
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