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House Transcripts
It's like Clinic Duty for the transcribers
House MD - 8.18 Body and Soul 
9th-May-2012 01:25 am
Doc On Duty
Originally Aired: April 23, 2012

Written by: Dustin Paddock
Directed by: Stefan Schwartz

Transcribed by: Jane (poeia)


DISCLAIMER: We don't own "HOUSE." It's owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions. This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use.



[Open on a dark bedroom. Lue Cheng, an eight-year-old boy, is asleep. A paper mobile above the bed stirs slightly. A door creaks and Lue wakes up. He doesn’t move as he looks around. After a moment, he rolls over to face the bedroom door. There’s enough light for him to see that there’s nothing there other than his desk, bookcase, etc. Suddenly the face of a very large, old woman is in front of him. Lue gasps. The woman comes up to him and starts to strangle him.]

Lue: Who are you? What are you doing? Get out of here! Mom!

[Lue stops breathing. His mother, Lida, comes in.]

Lida: Lue? Lue? You okay? [The woman is gone. Lue gasps for air but continues to choke.] Okay, honey. Calm down. It's all right. You're just having another bad dream.

Lue: I can't breathe!

[She turns on the bedside lamp and massages him comfortingly. He clutches at his throat.]

Lida: Yes, you can. You're fine. Just relax. Just take slow, deep breaths. Nice and easy. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Lue: I'm… trying… but I can't!

Lida: Relax. Slow, deep breaths.

[His lips are blue.]

Lue: I… can't.

[Lue passes out. His mother tries to wake him up.]

Lida: Lue? Oh, my God. Lue? Lue, wake up! Wake up, Lue! Come on! Lue!

[END OF TEASER]


[OPENING CREDITS]


[ACT ONE]

[Cut to Foreman intercepting House in the hospital lobby as he gets to work.]

Foreman: Been paging you for over two hours.

House: I must've been in the shower. Then I had to moisturize.

[House heads to the cafeteria. Foreman follows, talking up the case.]

Foreman: Eight-year-old boy was brought into the ER last night with acute respiratory distress. [House grabs a pack of chips.] No history of — [Foreman pauses to pull a dollar out of his pocket which he puts on the counter to pay for House’s food] — no histories of asthma or allergies, and his chest X-ray's clear.

House: Actually, I had to moisturize twice. Dominika made oysters Rockefeller last night.

Foreman: Kid's been having night terrors. Woke up in the middle of one in full respiratory arrest.

House: Stress induced panic attack. Tell the parents to lay off the grades. The world needs fry cooks too.

[They’ve reached the elevator. House pushes the “up” button.]

Foreman: Does great in school. The parents are divorced, but it was amicable. And the dad's moved out of state.

[The elevator arrives. House gets in.]

House: Have you seen Wilson around?

Foreman: The dreams are about an ugly, old hag trying to strangle him. [House turns and looks at Foreman, interested. He pushes the elevator door open with his cane.] The family's Hmong.

[Cut to Diagnostics. House enters with three large file boxes piled on a wheelchair. He puts them on the table as he talks.]

House: SUNDS — sudden unexpected nocturnal death syndrome, aka BS name for “no one's figured out why they died.” Over 100 in the early '80s. Only male. Only Hmong. Healthy right up until the moment they died in their sleep.

[House sits and opens the box closest to him.]

Chase: What was he dreaming about?

Park: It doesn't matter. It's a dream. It doesn't mean anything.

Chase: If the nightmare's scary enough, meaningful or not, it could cause a catecholamine surge and ventricular fibrillation. An ancient demon called a Dab was sitting on him, strangling him. I think that qualifies.

Taub: Except in the rational part of the file, where it says his EKG's within normal limits. It's not his heart.

Adams: What about obstructive sleep apnea?

House: Sleep apnea wouldn't have caused breathing problems after he woke up. What did you dream of?

Park: I never remember my dreams.

House: But you're certain that they're insignificant. Defensively so.

Park: I was defending science.

House: You were defensively defending science.

Park: Lung damage from inhaled toxins could keep causing problems after he woke up.

Adams: Or an upper respiratory infection.

House: Okay, Chase and Park, start IV antibiotics for pneumonia. Taub and Adams, go check the home for toxins.

Park: Could I go with Taub? It was my idea.

House: Right… 'cause for a moment there, I thought you were uncomfortable around Chase because you'd had a nocturnal Australian. [She looks uncomfortable. Taub, Adams look at Chase who looks at Park.] You can go with whoever you want. But all of you, read all of these files.

[Cut to the hallway outside Lue’s room. Adams is tending to Lue while Chase interviews Lida.]

Chase: Do you believe a spirit could be hurting your son?

Lida: No, of course not.

Chase: Because if he's been taught to believe that, it is possible for the fear alone to affect heart function.

Lida: [slightly condescendingly] I'm an engineer. I know illnesses aren't caused by evil spirits.

Chase: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just… had to check.

Lida: Anything else you need to check?

Chase: No.

[She goes into the room and soothes Lue’s brow.]

[Cut to House entering Exam Room Two in the clinic. Wilson is doing a breast exam. A female nurse stands by.]

House: I had a dream.

[The patient covers her breasts with her arms.]

Wilson: House… we can talk later.

House: Relax, I'm a doctor. Your spectacular breasts mean nothing to me.

Wilson: House… House! [He gets House’s attention and gestures to the door.]

[Cut to just outside the exam room.]

Wilson: Later. [He starts to go back inside.]

House: I had sex with Dominika.

Wilson: In a dream?

House: It wasn't literally sex. Technically, it was flossing. You know, teeth, testicles. I think the symbolism is pretty clear.

Wilson: “Later” just changed to “never.”

[He closes the door.]

[Cut to the Chengs’ house. Taub and Park are checking the kitchen.]

Taub: I'll tell you what would be weirder, if you didn't dream about having sex with Chase.

Park: Have you?

Taub: No. But I've dreamed about having sex with a lot of people I work with, and it didn't freak me out.

Park: That's different.

Taub: How?

Park: 'Cause you've actually had sex with a lot of people at work, and that hasn't freaked you out.

Taub: Good point. So you're worried about what it means?

[They head into the entry hall.]

Park: I'm not worried. It means nothing. It means something, doesn't it? I work with him. I can't want to sleep with him.

Taub: Maybe Chase just represents work. You're just falling in love with your job.

Park: It has been very satisfying lately.

[Looking up the staircase.]

Taub: You smell that?

Park: Yeah. Smells like wet dog.

Taub: It's mold.

Park: It's not mold.

Taub: It's definitely mold. [They get to the top of the stairs and look around.] I don't see any sign of water damage.

[He opens a door. It’s Lue’s room. But now there’s blood on the wall and on Lue’s pillow. In the center of the floor, on a plastic sheet, there’s a severed pig’s head, a bucket of blood, some intestines and burnt incense. There’s a line of blood around the bed.]

Taub: Holy crap.

[END OF ACT ONE]


[ACT TWO]

[Cut to the hallway outside Lue’s room.]

Taub: It looked like a slaughterhouse.

Lida: I don't know what you're talking about. It was clean when we left.

Taub: You're telling us some random person broke into your house to dismember a pig in your son's bedroom?

Lida: A pig? My father-in-law.

[She marches to a man sitting on a bench down the hall.]

Lida: What did you do?

Xang: What you should have done weeks ago, when the dreams started. I'm saving Lue.

Nurse: [voice] He's coding! Need a doctor in here!

[Park and Taub run back to the room, followed by Lida and Xang.]

Nurse: V-tach. No pulse.

Lida: Oh, my God!

Park: Push 1 milligram EPI!

Taub: Paddles. Charge to 50.

Nurse: Charging!

Taub: Clear!

[He shocks Lue.]

Lida: Baby…

Park: Still V-tach!

Taub: Charge to 100!

Nurse: [dialing the defibrillator up] 100!

Taub: Clear! [looks at the monitor] Charging—

Park: Wait! Normal sinus rhythm.

[Lue coughs.]

Lida: Oh, God!

[Cut to Diagnostics.]

Taub: He's stable, but we've obviously got a second symptom.

House: Yeah, yeah, yeah, kid in V-tach. Tell me about the luau in his bedroom.

Park: It's a traditional Hmong ceremony that's supposed to call back the kid's soul.

House: Hasn't he heard of Star-69?

Taub: There's more. The reason grandpa thinks the kid's soul is stolen is because he's convinced his son, the kid's father, had his stolen as well. He beat his boss to death. The dad didn't move away. He's in prison.

Adams: PTSD could definitely cause breathing problems—

Park: It's not PTSD.
Adams: Even if the kid wasn't there, just hearing what the dad did—

Park: But he hasn't. It happened when he was two, and all he's ever been told is that his parents divorced and his dad moved away.

Chase: The heart thing indicates a malignant arrhythmia. He needs an E.P. study.

House: How many of the other files showed malignant arrhythmias?

Chase: None, but—

House: Forget the E.P.

Taub: What about acute pericarditis? Explains the dyspnea.

House: How many of the other files—

Taub: It's exacerbated by lying supine, so the symptoms would get worse when he goes to sleep. Just like all 100 of the others.

House: [nods] Do an echo to check the pericardium. See if you can find any cardioactive toxins in the home samples.

[Everyone starts to leave.]

Park: Can I just say that I very much enjoy my job?

[Cut to Wilson’s office. He’s sitting behind his desk, not working for a change. House enters.]

House: No, no, please. No need to apologize for your earlier behavior. [He opens a bag and drops a plastic take-out container on the desk.] Floss was mint probably because of this green G-string she hangs up to dry in the bathroom.

[House sits on the couch and takes out a second container of food.]

Wilson: [checking the time] My watch must have stopped. Apparently it's already “never.”

House: You might want to forward your calls. You do not want the Reader's Digest version on this. There was a very tight hygienist's uniform, suggestive use of the water sprayer—
Wilson: The floss isn't sex. It's guilt. It's tying you up for throwing away the I.N.S. notification granting Dominika her citizenship. [gets up] She can move out, but she still doesn't know it, which means you're basically holding her prisoner. Tell her the truth, and leave me alone.

[He walks out. House stares at the closed door.]

[Cut to the lab. Chase and Park are doing tests on the samples from Lue’s home. Chase reaches past Park to get something from the far side of the counter. She jumps back.]

Chase: Really?

Park: What? You startled me.

Chase: We work together every day, usually under a fair amount of stress. It's only natural I'd pop into a subconscious thought every once in a while.

Park: Have you ever dreamt about having sex with me?

Chase: No.

Park: You paused.

Chase: No, I didn't. You think I'm lying?

Park: No, I think you're fighting the urge to snap the word "no" because your subconscious finds the idea abhorrent.

[Their beepers go off. Cut to them leaving the lab and walking down the hall.]

Chase: So if I snap, it's offensive, and if I don't snap, it's offensive for the exact same reason?

Park: Talk to your subconscious.

Chase: This is becoming weird because you're making it weird.

Park: So you don't find the idea abhorrent?

Chase: I work with you. I don't have to answer that question.

Park: You just did. [They reach Lue’s room. Taub comes out.] What happened?

[Adams joins them in the hall. Lida stays by Lue’s bedside.]

Taub: Echo was negative, but he has severe abdominal pain.

Adams: Ultrasound didn't suggest any intestinal blockages, but he's severely constipated.

Park: No spores, clostridium, or organic toxins in the kitchen samples. Nothing in the bedroom either.

Adams: We need to scope him, and we're gonna need to clear his bowel first.

Chase: We should biopsy his thyroid.

Adams: For an impacted bowel?

Chase: Hashimoto's thyroiditis would explain his lung, heart, and intestinal involvement. And if you think we still need House's approval, it also explains dying in your sleep.

[Adams and Park go back in the room.]

Park: Nice call.

[Chase watches her walk away.]

[Cut to House’s office. It is almost dark. He and Dominika are eating with chopsticks from cardboard take-out cartons.]

Dominika: When you invite me for dinner, I thought maybe you take me to a restaurant. Or have plates.

House: Yeah, sorry. Idiot delivery guy forgot them.

Dominika: Mm… The idiot delivery guy, or the idiot guy whose food you stole from lounge refrigerator, huh?

House: You've gotten to know me pretty well.

Dominika: [grinning] My citizenship depends on it, right?

House: Yeah… that's actually why I wanted to talk to you.

Dominika: [instantly serious and excited] You heard news?

House: Yeah.

Dominika: So what news? They want us to come in for another interview?

House: No. [Long pause. House looks away and down before reestablishing eye contact.] Since we hadn't heard anything, I–I called, and they said it's gonna be a couple weeks, maybe a month till they finalize their decision.

Dominika: A month?

House: Yeah, I know. It sucks.

Dominika: No, it's — it's not suck to live with you. It's been fun, but… you know, I just want to be legal.

House: And you will be. Absolutely. In the meantime…

Dominika: Hmm?

House: Have you ever shot anyone?

[She tilts her head and looks questioningly at him.]

[Cut to Lue’s room. Adams is about to give him an injection.]

Lue: No, get away.

[He pushes her hand away.]

Adams: Look, this needle isn't nearly as big as the one in your arm, and that didn't hurt, did it?

Lue: I don't want it.

Lida: They need to do it, Lue.

Taub: You'll only feel a little pinch as we give you the numbing medicine, and after that, you won't feel a thing.

[He pushes down on Lue’s shoulder. Adams puts one hand on Lue’s head as she prepares to do the injection with the other hand. Lue is almost invisible under all the hands holding him.]

Lue: No!

Lida: Lue, calm down. It's gonna be okay.

Lue: [responds angrily in an Asian-sounding language.]

Adams: What's he saying? What's the problem?

Lida: I don't know.

Xang: He's saying it's too late. There's nothing we can do. [Lida looks at him.] It's Hmong.

Lida: He doesn't speak Hmong. He's never even heard it.

Xang: It isn't him speaking. It's the Dab.

[There’s a rustling noise as Lue flails against the sheets.]

Taub: He's seizing!

Lida: Oh—! Oh, my God!

Taub: Need some Lorazepam in here!

[END OF ACT TWO]


[ACT THREE]

[Cut to House’s office. The whole team is there.]

Chase: Seizure rules out Hashimoto's.

Taub: Yeah, that's the issue, not that we have no rational explanation for how the patient spoke a language he's never even heard.

House: I've got one. Dang tong lee twah. It means "you're a bunch of pathetic idiots" in Hmong. [He turns his laptop around so they can see the screen with the computer translator on it.] Or it doesn't. But you wouldn't know because none of you speak Hmong. Kid, on the other hand, is presumably fluent in gibberish.

Adams: The grandfather speaks Hmong. He translated.

House: He heard what he wanted to hear, 'cause if his grandson really is possessed, that means his son really is possessed, which is a giant step up from being a sledgehammering psychopath.

Chase: Whatever it was preceded a seizure. It's obviously a neurological symptom.

Park: Scleroderma, advanced to the point that it's affecting his brain?

House: [nods slightly] Interesting.

Chase: So we should start treating—

House: Interesting that you keep falling for it when I say “interesting.” The scleroderma part was idiotic — we'd have seen skin involvement. The interesting part is that you and Park agree, but you're not able to look at each other.

Chase: Um… I'm looking at her.

[Sort of. He tilts his head toward Park but keeps flicking his eyes toward House.]

Park: I'm looking at him. [She does.]

House: Good, now lick your lips.

Adams: Rasmussen's encephalitis. Diffuse spotty inflammation could hit the autonomic centers of the brain.

House: Cha mo tie mia boo chang. It's Hmong for “get an MRI to confirm.”

[Cut to the hall outside Lue’s room. Chase speaks to Lida while Xang looks on.]

Lida: Rasmussen's encephalitis. But he'll be okay?

Chase: With treatment, it's manageable. And it explains all the things that have happened to him?

Chase: We think so.

Xang: You are wrong. And you are wasting my grandson's time.

Chase: Neurological issues can cause a person to speak in tongues, speak with an accent—

Xang: He wasn't speaking in tongues!

Chase: In times of stress, our senses can fool us into believing—

Xang: I know the difference between science and faith, and when my son started having the same dreams my grandson is having, science couldn't help him.

Chase: I'm sorry if your son suffered from mental illness.

Xang: Kao was not crazy. He was bright, caring, happy, until the bad dreams came. I don't want to watch it happen again.

Chase: Please don't scare the boy. It won't help him get better.

[Chase leaves.]

[Cu to Taub and Park doing the MRI.]

Taub: Axial view of mid-brain level looks good. Moving on to thalamic.

Park: I had another dream last night. This time it was about you.

Taub: [intrigued] Really?

Park: See, that's how you're supposed to react. When a woman tells you she's dreamt about you, you should be thrilled, even if you're not interested in her whatsoever.

Taub: You're an idiot, you know that?

Park: Well, I definitely won't be dreaming about you tonight.

Taub: I'm jealous of you two. You couldn't be more different, and yet you have this good thing happening. You support each other. You like each other. Don't let House screw it up.

Park: We're not that different.

Taub: Yeah, you are.

[Cut to a man with his arm wrapped around a woman’s neck. With his other hand he is pointing a pistol at her head. A bullet hits him right between the eyes. He’s the target at a shooting range. Dominika fires another 10 shots, all of which hit the man in the head. She removes the clip from the gun. House flips the switch to bring the target to them. They both take off their headsets.]

House: Apparently, there are some things about you I don't know.

Dominika: I served one year in police unit.

House: And you're just telling your husband now?

Dominika: Immigration doesn't know. No need for husband to know. [House’s beeper goes off. He checks the message.] What is happening to boy with demons?

House: Absence of evidence on an MRI, which my team has mistaken for evidence of absence.

Dominika: [She sends a fresh target out.] This is what I am not understanding: How can you believe in dark matters but not in dark spirits? Is–is the idea of demons so different than the Higgs boson? We can't see it, but we can see the impact of its presence. [He stares at her.] I borrowed your physics book. I read while in bathroom.

House: You're a dead-eye shot and enjoy reading quantum physics on the crapper?

Dominika: I read in bathtub.

House: Better image. Thank you.

[They put their glasses and headsets back on.]

[Cut to Lue’s room. It’s dark. Xang sits on the edge of the bed, talking to Lue.]

Lue: The doctors say my brain is sick.

Xang: Your doctors are trying their best, but they're not looking in the right place. You know, I know this is a lot to put on an eight-year-old, but you have angered our ancestors by ignoring them. Now do you remember how to talk to them? [Lue nods and crosses his arms across his chest.] Yeah, that's right. Good. Now close your eyes, and we will ask for forgiveness together. You're doing good. [pats Lue’s shoulder] But we have to do more. The evil spirits are in the air, and the only way to stop them is by stopping the air. [He gently brushes the hair off Lue’s forehead then clamps his hand over his grandson’s mouth and nose. Lue struggles but the hand that was patting him on the shoulder is now holding holding his throat. He chokes.] You have to be brave. I'm not trying to hurt you. This will help you. I know it will.

[Taub enters the room. Lida is already at Lue’s bedside. It’s a beautiful, sunny day.]

Taub: Lue? You okay?

Lida: I can't wake him up!

Taub: Lue! Lue, you're safe. You're in the hospital.

Lue: [shaking] Get grandpa away!

Lida: He's not here, honey. It was just a dream.

Lue: He was choking me!

Taub: No, Lue, it wasn't real.

Lue: It was! He grabbed my neck!

[Taub starts to say something else when he notices long, purple bruises along Lue’s neck.]

Taub: Those bruises weren't there before.

[END OF ACT THREE]


[ACT FOUR]

[Cut to Diagnostics.]

Taub: He had the dream, and then he had the bruising.

House: More likely — and by “likely,” I mean “rationally” — it's the other way around. His brain felt the pain in his neck and created the dream to explain it.

Adams: Coagulopathy? Lung problems cause a clotting disturbance.

Park: He would have bruises everywhere.

Taub: Is it really preposterous that dreams can have physical manifestations?

House: Well, short answer is—

[He slaps Taub on the back of the head.]

Taub: Thoughts during sleep can and do cause physical changes.

House: Is that right, Dr. Park? Did you wake up this morning experiencing physical changes? It's medically relevant.

Chase: Her dream doesn't mean anything. Can we start acting like it doesn't mean anything?

House: Sure. We could also start acting like walls don't mean anything, but then we'd hurt our noses. You've been taking the high road. You haven't been teasing in an obviously teasable situation because you know it does mean something. She hates the dream because it makes her feel vulnerable. You love the dream because it makes you feel superior. The poor lass who can't help but fall sway to your charms, and you're bestowing upon her the gift of illusory irrelevance.

Taub: [to Adams] Can you please hint to House that you had a sex dream? I'd really prefer not to get distracted with trying to cure the patient today.

Adams: I refuse to divulge my dreams about girl-on-girl loofa action. The bruising could indicate anemia, a vitamin C deficiency, or even leukemia.

House: That is so weird that you and I had the same dream. I assume yours also ends with me achieving ecstasy while simultaneously placing third in the New York City marathon.

Park: Third?

House: I'm a realist. Liver failure can cause gibberish from encephalopathy, constipation, bruising, and breathing problems.

Adams: Hepatic fibrosis could hit someone his age.

House: So let's hit his liver. Get a biopsy.

[The team leaves.]

[Cut to the treatment room. Taub and Adams are doing the biopsy. Lida stands at the foot of the bed.]

Adams: Angle a bit more superiorly.

[Taub adjusts the biopsy needle.]

Lida: He keeps having these nightmares that become real. They really hurt him. I don't want to believe that a nightmare can do that, but I—

Taub: I'm struggling with it too, but these things can be explained medically.

Lida: But you haven't. Every doctor, every idea they've had, it's been wrong.

[Cut to a doctors’ lounge. Chase is making coffee. Park enters.]

Park: Liver biopsy's back. Team's about to meet. [She turns to leave.]

Chase: Back to avoiding eye contact with me? House got to you again?

Park: Want me to gaze longingly into your eyes as I tell you the test results?

Chase: I want you to treat me like a friend, which means getting over the fact that you like me more than I like you.

Park: Yeah, egotism and preening really turn me on.

Chase: [approaching her] Too bad I'm not attracted to androgyny and self-pity, or you'd have it made.

Park: [stepping closer to him] Because anyone who hasn't gotten wet from your petri dish of STDs clearly has low self-esteem!

Chase: Bitch.

Park: Dick!

[They kiss passionately. Park pushes Chase onto the couch and they kiss some more. She rips open his shirt.] Are you coming?

Chase: Why didn't your lips move when you said that?

Park: Chase! [She’s at the door.] You coming? Liver biopsy's back.

[He checks his shirt with both hands. It’s still buttoned.]

Chase: I'll be right there.

[She leaves. He takes a moment.]

[Cut to the hall outside Lue’s room. Adams and Taub are talking to Lida.]

Adams: Biopsy was negative for fibrosis.

Lida: So once again, you don't know what's wrong?

Taub: It's always good to rule out the bad things.

Nurse: Doctors!

[They walk to the door of the room. Xang and a nurse stand on the far side of the bed. Lue is covered with a sheet. Other than his hand, which is on the edge of the bed, his body is rigid and several inches above the mattress.]

Park: God!

[As they approach the bed, Lue drops back down. Adams and Taub start to examine him.]

Taub: [to Adams] Was he…?

Adams: Yes.

[END OF ACT FOUR]


[ACT FIVE]

[Cut to House’s office.]

Taub: He was levitating.

House: Cool. So the one thing we know for sure is he was not levitating.
Adams: He was floating 6 inches off the bed.

[House looks heavenward, mouths something and rubs his face in frustration.]

Chase: [to Park] He could've just been arching his back off the bed.

Taub: Yes, but then I would have come into the room and reported that the patient was weirdly arching his back off the bed. [House grabs his cane and gets up.] It was his whole body. He was levitating.

House: So many questions… starting with why did Chase address his comment to someone who wasn't even in the room? Hocus pocus, on my feet you idiots must focus.

[House points his cane at Chase then twirls it. He stands by the window, facing his desk so the team is looking at his right side. Both of his arms are outstretched to the sides and he holds his cane upside down in his right hand. Taub’s smirk disappears as House levitates. He remains “standing” a few inches above the floor for several seconds then drops his arms and lands. He makes a big show of being unnerved by the experience.]

House: Uh… uh… extreme… drained…

Taub: The kid's not a magician.

House: Of course not. He's the lovely assistant. 'Cause grandpa pig sticker is waving the wand. Middling with… is Chase trying to avoid Taub, or is he trying to prove that he's not avoiding Park?

Adams: We checked the bed. There were no platforms or wires. This wasn't a trick.

Park: Tetanus could cause muscle rigidity. Maybe he was propped up by his heel and elbow.

Taub: Except he wasn't!

House: Tetanus wouldn't cause that kind of breathing difficulty. And ending with… if Chase is trying not to avoid Park, why is he doing this today and not yesterday?

Chase: But hypocalcemia could, and the enema we administered to cure his constipation had a high phosphorous load, which could make him transiently hypocalcemic.

House: It's a long shot, but at least it has the benefit of being rational. Go pump up his electrolytes and start beta-blockers. And good news for Park: I think Chase had a sex dream about you.

Chase: Dreams don't mean anything.

[Cut to the hall outside Lue’s room. Lue is asleep.]

Lida: I don't know. Nothing you've done has helped.

Chase: If we don't start and he has another seizure, the neurological damage could be permanent.

Lida: My father-in-law — he thinks the calling ceremony didn't work because Lue wasn't there.

Taub: And you think he's right?

Lida: I don't know.

Taub: I'm sorry, but there's no way we can allow him to perform an exorcism in your son's hospital room.

Lida: Then I will have to take him home.

Chase: A day ago, you were insulted I'd even think you might believe that stuff, and now you're willing to stop all treatment, so you can try it?

Lida: Maybe Xang was right about Kao. The man I loved wasn't evil and would never do what he did. He was… possessed. And my son needs his soul back.

[Cut to Foreman’s office.]

Foreman: Why not? As long as he doesn't feed the kid anything or put anything on his skin that we haven't verified is harmless, what's the problem?

House: I agree. And since we're establishing a new policy of “What the hell, we'll try anything,” I'd like to hire Shakira to belly dance while singing Waka Waka.

Foreman: As long as you get the mom and Shakira to consent. It's no different than having a priest or rabbi lead a prayer vigil. The mom is scared and confused and desperate for anything that'll give her hope.

House: True. But in the long run, I think you'll be happier having our lawyer declare her unfit. That way you won't be ratifying superstition over science, and I'll still be working here.

Foreman: And why would that make me happier? [House didn’t see that one coming.] You're not going anywhere, and we're not “ratifying” their beliefs, we're respecting them.

House: You do realize it may involve animal sacrifice. [Oops. Foreman didn’t see that one.] People who live in glass hospitals should not throw exorcisms.

Foreman: I'll talk to the mother.

[Cut to Lida and Foreman sitting on benches in the open waiting area.]

Lida: I don't want to deny him the medicine, I just… want to make sure I try everything I can.

Foreman: I understand that, but you have to understand that we're a hospital, not a temple.

Lida: Then I'll take him elsewhere.

Foreman: No, you won't. He's sick. We can't let him leave here. I'm sorry, you really have no choice.

Lida: I spoke to a lawyer. He told me as long as I wasn't saying no to your treatment, you couldn't say no to my religion.

Foreman: Give me 24 hours.

[Cut to House’s apartment. Dominika is on the phone. She’s upset. House enters and stops in the doorway when he hears her. She wipes some tears from her eyes.]

Dominika: Мамо, це не має значення! Я маю право знати... Мамо, я повинна йти. Я подзвоню тобі пізніше. Цілую. Пока.

[It’s pronounced: Mamo, tse ne maye znachennya! Ya mayu pravo znaty… Mamo, ya povynna iyti. Tsiluyu. Poka.
And it means: Mom, it doesn't matter! I have a right to know… Mom, I have to go. Kiss you. Bye.]

[She hangs up and waves an envelope at House.]

Dominika: This came in the mail today!

[He seems ashamed, looking at everything except Dominika as he drops his backpack.]

House: I'm sorry. I should've told you.

Dominika: Told me what? I don't understand.

House: What's the letter?

Dominika: It's from my Uncle in Poland. My Aunt Luba, they put her in nursing home two months ago!

House: That's too bad.

Dominika: My mother, I talk to her twice a week and she never even mentioned it. Wh–what does she think? That I can't handle? I am 29 years old! I am not a child! [He hugs her and she clings to him like a child. She sniffles a couple of times.] Were you going out tonight?

House: I could stay.

[The expression on his face is hard to define. It could be guilt, hope, fear… or a combination of them all.]

[Cut to Lue’s room. Lida is at his bedside. Adams enters.]

Lida: He's still barely breathing.

[Adams goes to the bed and shakes Lue by the shoulder, trying to get him to react to her.]

Adams: Lue? How you feeling? Any stronger? Lue, can you hear me?

Lida: What's wrong?

Adams: I'm not sure. Lue, I need you to squeeze my hand. He's not responding. [to nurse] Get me an amp of D50!

Lida: You were wrong again? I'm calling his grandfather.

[Adams tries to revive Lue.]

[END OF ACT FIVE]


[ACT SIX]

[Cut to Lue’s room. Lida stands by the bed, watching. Xang picks up a gong and a mallet from a cart filled with religious paraphernalia. He walks around the bed, hitting it at evenly spaced intervals. There is a gold, red and white paper circle around the bed that looks like a party banner that’s been shredded. Xang stays outside the circle. Outside, in the hallway, there’s a crowd of hospital staff watching through the glass wall.]

[Cut to Diagnostics. The team is doing a DDX while the exorcism is going on.]

Chase: Genetic tests for Brugada and long QT variants came back negative.

Taub: What about a carotid aneurysm? We should do an angiogram.

Adams: He's got normal carotid pulses.

House: Who cares? Mom's given up, why shouldn't I?

Chase: I'm sorry, do we not treat idiots? Because I thought—

Taub: Her kid levitated. That happens to my girl, I'm expanding my diagnostic horizons.

House: All the more reason why we should shut down. We cure this kid now, crazy grandpa and his magic beads get all the credit.

Adams: And since when do you care about credit?

House: Since when do I care about this kid? All I care about is sending mommy out into the world having faith in faith. Kid's better off dead. As soon as she's done appeasing the gods, let's talk.

Chase: What about Kawasaki? It explains the irregular heartbeat, respiratory distress, and seizures.

Park: It fits.

Adams: Which means he needs a coronary bypass.

House: It can't be Kawasaki. Echo would have shown it. But a patent ductus arteriosis—

Taub: It can't be a PDA. He's not an infant, nor has he had any symptoms for eight years.

House: Maybe he has. Maybe he had an infected ductus, which we inadvertently treated with antibiotics.

Taub: So no evidence is evidence of evidence?

House: I'm just saying, it's consistent.

Adams: It's a billion-to-one.

House: Which means there's seven people in the world who fit the diagnosis.

Taub: I thought we were looking for 100.

House: Well, maybe PDA is more common than we thought. With idiot doctors like you—

Adams: [snaps at House] You're wrong. [calmer] But the treatment's just ibuprofen. Closes the malformed duct. Worst-case scenario, he just doesn't get better

House: No, worst-case scenario is you piss me off—

Chase: You're not gonna let us save an eight-year-old because one more person might embrace religion?

House: Does anyone here think my diagnosis is right? [No one moves.] Well, then I have decided for today only, to respect your opinions. We will proceed according to your diagnosis and nothing else. That's an order. Good luck.

[He leaves.]

[Cut to Lue’s room. Xang is shaking some bells. Taub hands Lida a clipboard.]

Taub: We need to put him on the O.R. schedule.

[She signs. They start to leave but the alarm on Lue’s monitor goes off.]

Adams: His B.P.'s dropping.

Taub: He's crashing. Call a code!

Adams: [to Lida] You need to stop this! [She gestures at Xang who is still shaking the bells.] I'm giving him the ibuprofen.

[She pushes a nurse away and pulls a vial from the bedside table. She injects it in Lue’s IV line.]

[Cut to House’s bedroom. He’s lying with his head at the foot of the bed. He pop open his pill bottle and takes a Vicodin with a bourbon chaser. Dominika comes to the doorway.]

Dominika: Dinner's almost ready.

House: I think I'll stick with the fluids tonight, thanks.

Dominika: [entering] Why are you sulking?

House: I'm not sulking.

Dominika: Ohhh, my mistake. [She gets on the bed next to him, takes his glass and takes a sip.] Mmm.

House: Either religion is killing a kid, or I am. [She looks at him for a moment then slides over and straddles him.] What are you doing?

Dominika: Comforting my husband after a bad day. [She smiles and strokes his face then leans down and kisses him. He doesn’t respond. He looks terrified — too scared to even breathe.] If this is not what you want, I go back to making dinner.

[He reaches up and they begin to seriously kiss. Dominika sits up and pulls off her blouse. They return to kissing when the phone rings.]

House: I'm not gonna answer that.

Dominika: Oh, smart man. [after more kissing] This is killing mood. [She turns toward the phone, sees the caller ID and gets excited.] U.S. citizenship!

House: I'll get it.

Dominika: [gets to the phone first] This is Mrs. House, please give good news, so my husband and I can go back to sex. Budmo! [Будьмо! means “Cheers!”] Is fantastic! [The person on the other end says something and her smile fades. She looks at House who drops eye contact and looks guilty.] How many notices you send me? O–okay, I–I–I… I–I come pick up naturalization certificate. Thank you for calling.

[She hangs up the phone and clutches her shirt in front of her.]

House: I'm sorry.

[She walks out. House drops his head back on the bed. He knows he blew it.]

[Cut to the ICU.]

ICU Nurse: Dr. Adams, Dr. Taub? His vitals are improving. He's stabilizing.

[They join Lida and Xang at Lue’s bedside.]

Taub: He's gonna be okay.

Lida: [to Xang] It worked.

Adams: Um, no, it didn't. Mrs. Cheng, the medicine I administered was a long-shot treatment for Lue's heart, but that's what's helping him.

Lida: Ibuprofen? That's for headaches.

Adams: I know it seems hard to believe, but it's true.

Lida: And I know this seems hard for you to believe. [to Lue] Honey… Grandpa was right. He saved you.

Taub: [to Adams] There were two things we thought were impossible. One of them wasn't. That's all we know.

[Cut to House’s living room. He stands with one hand on the piano and one on the mantle, watching Dominika pack.

♪♫ I was always right

♪♫ About the morning

♪♫ Okay, I'm an old shoe

[She comes over. She looks almost as miserable as he does. She hugs him goodbye.]

♪♫ Danced above the blaze

♪♫ Never stopped crawling

[She wheels her suitcase to the door and stops. She seems to steel herself. The door clicks shut and House is alone again.]

♪♫ Over the black dunes

[At the hospital, Chase pushes the button for the elevator. Park joins him.]

♪♫ And I'm waiting for you

Park: Was I good?

Chase: [He grins slightly.] Doesn't mean anything. Idea got planted. It was probably inevitable. [He pushes for the elevator again.]

Park: It means something.

Chase: What?

Park: Well, it could mean the obvious, that you want some of this.

[She gestures to her own body. He opens his eyes slightly wider and pulls his head back almost imperceptibly. The elevator arrives. They get in.]

Park: When will you learn that that look is insulting? Or it could just mean that we like each other. I'm weird, and you're pretty, but we connect. We feel safe. We trust each other.

Chase: [nods] Maybe.

[Park farts. He looks at her, surprised and amused.]

Park: [with a slight smile] Just testing my theory.

[Chase laughs.]

[Cut to Wilson’s office. House barges in. Wilson is leaning against the cabinets by the wall. His arms are folded and his head is tilted down. Outside it is raining heavily.]

House: Adams defied me. There's one more zealot in the world. [sits on the couch] And Dominika moved out. She was fun. She was hot. She fixed my blender. That is not a metaphor. You know any good fake divorce lawyers? I am surprisingly depressed by this.

[During House’s monologue Wilson pinches him lips together a few times but doesn’t interrupt.]

Wilson: I have cancer.

House: You were a little short with me the other day. You do need an excuse. Cancer may be overplaying it.

Wilson: Stage II thymoma. I didn't want to tell you until I had it confirmed. I got the tests back this morning. I have cancer, House. [The news sinks in.]

[END]


Note: I don’t speak. If you do, we could use a transcription of Lue’s and House’s speeches. (I did include a phonetic version of what I think House said because, even if it is Hmong, it probably wasn’t pronounced correctly.) And thanks to our Ukranian reader who provided a transcript of Dominika’s speech.

Comments 
9th-May-2012 12:27 pm (UTC) - House M.D. News for Tuesday May 8, 2012
User petitecuriosity referenced to your post from House M.D. News for Tuesday May 8, 2012 saying: [...] at House MD - 8.18 Body and Soul [...]
10th-May-2012 03:10 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
About Dominika.

When Dominika speaks on the phone with her mother she says:

'Мамо, це не має значення! Я маю право знати... Мамо, я повинна йти. Я подзвоню тобі пізніше. Цілую. Пока. ' [Mamo, tse ne maye znachennya! Ya mayu pravo znaty… Mamo, ya povynna iyti. Tsiluyu. Poka]

It means 'Mom, it doesn't matter! I have a right to know…I have to go. Kiss you. Bye.'

When Dominika speaks with immigration service she says 'Будьмо! ' [Budmo!] It means 'Cheers! '

I live in Kyiv, Ukraine, and read gratefully all yours transcripts.
Thank you for the great job of yours. You help a lot to understand and enjoy.
13th-May-2012 04:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. I'll edit it in right now. (I'm not as hopeful about finding a reader who speaks Hmong.)
12th-May-2012 09:51 am (UTC)
Anonymous
About Dominika (once more, perhaps my previous post got lost.).

She says to her mother on the phone in Ukrainian: Mom, it doesn't matter! I have a right to know… Mom, I have to go. Kiss you. Bye.
13th-May-2012 04:46 pm (UTC)
LiveJournal automatically screens results from Anonymous posters. I have to manually unscreen it. That way little or no spam gets through.

Thanks again.
21st-Nov-2012 06:43 am (UTC)
Thank you for sharing
21st-Jan-2013 11:52 pm (UTC)
Can somebody please help me understand the meaning of what House said about moisturizing and oysters rockefeller?

Foreman: Been paging you for over two hours.
House: Must have been in the shower. And then I had to moisturize. (...) Actually, I had to moisturize twice. Dominika made Oysters Rockefeller last night.

What did he mean by that? Can somebody explain, please? Thanks
4th-Feb-2013 03:30 am (UTC)
I assumed he masterbated in the shower. And oysters are supposed to be an aphrodisiac, so he's saying he woke up extra horny that morning after eating them the night before.
14th-Dec-2015 10:27 pm (UTC) - Episode Discussion Post 8x18 "Body and Soul"
User menolly_au referenced to your post from Episode Discussion Post 8x18 "Body and Soul" saying: [...] Transcript at Clinic Duty [...]
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